Read If He Had Been With Me by Laura Nowlin. Young adult coming of age story.


14, 17



“Just because you think it doesn’t mean it’s true. Your brain’s a little b*^tch and likes to lie to you.” -Elyse Myers


13, 21



Actions have consequences- so does inaction. Avoiding a problem or decision is not an effective solution.


18



Clip nails after bath. It’s easier to do when they’re softer. (Teach them the same thing when they’re old enough to do it for themselves.)


1, 10



Celebration and acknowledgment: Make a big deal over little-big things and teach them the same: getting their braces off, or a cast on a broken bone, a friend gets a new car, etc. Always acknowledge the sad that someone is going through or the difficult situation. Applies to all ages.


12, 15, 19, 21



Your good name is the most important credential you’ll ever have. Act with integrity in all things, that ben if it means short-term pain. Build a reputation for honesty, dependability and trustworthiness.


14, 17, 20



The things we invite to protect us take their job seriously. They will not abandon the watch without a fight to the death. So be careful, very careful about what u invite as armor. Please don’t place your trust in drugs, alcohol, food, gambling, working, disconnecting, etc. Put your trust in that which is creative, honest, loving, beautiful, interesting, inspiring, challenging or peaceful. These things make much better bodyguards, and they will never turn on you.


13, 16, 20



You never know what people are going through. Depression, PTSD, anxiety could look like avoidance, anger, risk-taking, promiscuity, etc. Look out for friends, coworkers and loved ones who may be in pain. You don’t need to solve their problem, just allow for the possibility that they’re going through something. Try to give them the benefit of the doubt and not write off “bad” behavior as a character flaw. Offer a non-judgmental ear.


15, 20



Compassion: Acting with love when faced with another’s suffering.


16



Resist the urge to blurt out and over share when you’re feeling pressured to say something. Have a few “go to” phrases in your back pocket. “I’m at a lack of words” or “vibe check” or “let’s take a beat.” Come up with your own. Calm, kind, respectful. xoxo


11, 12, 14, 17, 21



Anger is the bodyguard of sadness.


12-15, 21



Alka-Seltzer is great for a hangover or even better, take it before you go to bed after partying. Disclaimer I’m talking about a few drinks. For the love of everything holy, please don’t ingest insane amounts of alcohol at a time. Buzzed is fun, drunk is stupid. And dangerous. Never drive once you’ve had a drink or weed.


18



Research says working with your hands is good for your mind and spirit. Even if it’s just folding laundry or doing yard work. Let’s find a hobby u might like working with your hands.


12



When COVID started my first thought was “Holy sh*t Trump is going to cancel the 2020 election because of pandemic.” Thank God I was wrong.


15



Enroll in a CPR course. Re-certify every year.


13



Assume any email or text you send will be distributed.


12, 15



Rain, snow or sleet...Always return the shopping cart to the proper spot in the parking lot.


17



Little trick for acne treatment: dandruff shampoo. Wash your face with Head and Shoulders and watch your skin clear up.


13-17



Crushes are fine but I beg you not to waste your time and energy obsessing about someone. Really it’s just a way to hide, to feel something without risking anything. F that. Turn your attention to something creative, constructive or productive. Make art, train for a race, volunteer or get a second job. Discover WHAT you love. Pursue that and your people will be there.


15, 17, 20, 21



Be intentional. You don’t get to choose what they remember.


1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10



Control isn’t safety. Safety is putting in the physical/mental/intellectual/emotional/spiritual work so you’re confident in your ability to address whatever comes your way and thrive, bounce back after getting knocked down.


14, 21



Sioux Nation quote: No one heals himself by wounding another.


16



Explain what “On my honor” means.


8



Intimacy is a feeling of safety. To let yourself be seen, touched, known, without defenses.


17, 21



Just love ‘em up. Be patient and kind. Be present. Listen. Play. Take care of their needs. Each one will be different and need you in different ways. That’s all, just fill them with love and security and they’ll grow up beautifully.


1-18



Time management skills. Look for current resources. Teach about making lists when you're feeling overwhelmed. Start with listing 5 to-do's. Tackle the top 3 of those. Then reassess. New priorities? If no, keep going down the list. If yes, add them to the list in whatever order of importance.


12



Relationship advice: Is she interesting? You’ll spend more time with her than anyone in your life. Does she make you laugh? Will she make a good mom? Life is long. These are the things that matter.” -Paraphrased quote from Barack Obama


21



I just want to to know that I didn’t know what the $@!#% I was doing. It’s a miracle you turned out so beautifully! Just know you don’t have to have it all figured out. You’re going to have a wonderful life. xoxo - Mom


21



Before you quit your job - or leave your spouse, etc. consider that you may be suffering from anxiety or depression. We sometimes attribute outside things (or people) as the cause of feeling desperate for change. But sometimes it’s just that our brains are fogged with anxiety or depression. Help is life- changing.


21