Jump in and help where help is needed. Don’t wait to be asked. Whether it’s clearing dishes at home or friend’s house or tasks at work. It could be something big like solves problem or little, putting paper in the copy machine at work.


15, 18. 21



If they’re not doing anything dangerous, illegal or immoral, let them be. Give them space and independence. (Just first define dangerous/ illegal/ immoral. Then remind them that you are here and would love to hear about anything they want to share.)


14



Golf lessons. Grampa loved golf, if he were here he would have taught you himself.


9



It's very important to me, the idea of the scale of good and bad, of beauty and suffering. I think we should do everything we can to increase the beauty and to take away from the suffering. We have to work hard to tip the scale in the direction of good.


1Infant-14



Never do two illegal things at the same time. Don’t break the law while breaking the law.


16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21



SAT Prep https://www.nytimes.com/2017/04/10/opinion/how-i-learned-to-take-the-sat-like-a-rich-kid.html


16



“Praise in public. Discipline in private.” This is good advice for when you’re a parent and for when you’re a boss.


20



When COVID started my first thought was “Holy sh*t Trump is going to cancel the 2020 election because of pandemic.” Thank God I was wrong.


15



Spread kindness like confetti.


12, 21



Your very existence is a miracle. Countless cosmic events and generations of ancestors had to come together in precisely the right way at precisely the right time for you to be here now. It’s an honor to be who you are. Act accordingly.


13, 15, 18, 20, 21



Resentment is a sign you are giving too much and are in need of replenishment. It’s a good example of how even the “negative” emotions are on your side, interpreting your experience in the world.


16, 18, 21



Grandpa used to describe injuries and medical procedures as “It’s a nothin.” I think of this every time I have to endure something painful.


14, 18



Be mindful of the patterns we’re falling into as a family. Teach them to be mindful of their patterns too.


6, 8, 12, 18



Let them borrow your calm. Little ones (grownups too) sometimes just need to freak out a bit. Stay there. Be near. Don’t judge or even help. Just be there, and stay calm. Your loving energy is all they need as they work through it themselves. Keep them safe but other than that don’t help or advise unless they ask.


2-6, 17, 21



If you’re unable to help someone, help someone else. Throw some goodness or beauty in the bucket of humanity.


16



It's natural to avoid change. Try to learn to accept change, embrace it if you can! Change is good. :)


15



To paraphrase Chris Rock, “You don’t get points for NOT beating your wife.” Meaning, you’re EXPECTED to do the right thing. So do the right thing, without any expectation of praise.


14, 18



Numbing doesn’t work. Let it hurt, let it heal, then it lets itself go.


15,21



Floss!!! All kinds of health benefits including decreased risk for heart disease and diabetes. Plus you get to keep your teeth. It's a no-brainer.


14, 18, 21



Turn on the closed captions on tv. Reading them is almost unconscious. Even better, set the audio to a language other than English and turn on English captions.


4-9



Read (or listen to) The Greatest Generation by Tom Brokaw together as a family. It's broken up into small vignettes so it's easy to get through bit by bit.


15



Read "You Can’t buy a Dinosaur with a Dime" by Harriet Ziefert. Teaches kids about earning money through work, making choices, even paying taxes!


9



There’s always a temptation to throw money at your problem. But remember there’s nothing you can buy that will make up for what is really needed. And the stuff that accumulates while you try to fix the problem just ends up being a problem on its own.


14, 19



“Forget about sex. Just play first.” Forget about making a move and just have fun. Dance, listen to music together, go somewhere exciting, look at something beautiful, read to each other, play sports, let yourself be seen and encourage them to do the same. Communicate in a hundred ways: talk/send texts/ post on social media, pass notes, whatever. Sex isn’t the door to intimacy, feeling safe to be yourself around your partner is.


15-20



When someone suffers the loss of a loved one, don't shy away. Go to the service. Check in during the months following. Say the name of the person who died when you talk to them. Forward pictures of the loved one if you have any, share stories. There are exceptions to this, so always take your queue from the person who is grieving.


18



Considering taking meds for your mental health but concerned about the side effects? Consider the side effects of *not* taking them! Meds don’t turn you into someone you’re not, they lift the murky fog around your brain so you can be more yourself. It’s the depression that changes you. Meds just help you get rid of the fog.


18, 21



When something is upsetting you...Name it...Take a deep breath...Imagine holding it gently in your hands. (This is a reminder to use this visualization myself and to teach it to you. I want to give you as many tools as I can to help you learn to cope with negative emotions in a healthy way.)


9-11



Chemistry is not the same thing as compatibility.


16, 19, 21