“It’s not your job to make people love you. It’s your job to show people who you are and allow them the opportunity to love you, if they want to. If they don’t, please just let them walk away. They were probably going to walk away anyway, they were just sticking around to see if you’d beg a little bit. Don’t even give them that. Let them go. You’re not a shape shifter. You’re not going to turn into the version of yourself that you think would be more lovable by the person you are trying to be loved by. That’s not love, that’s exhausting.” -Elyse Myers, one of my favorite Tiktokers. You deserve to be loved for who you genuinely are. I wish I’d read this when I was young. Would’ve saved me years of pain and frustration.


16-21



Be thankful for opportunities to be of service. It means God is trusting you to help.


8-14



Go on a cruise


12-15



Sleep paralysis runs in the family. If you ever feel like you’re awake but you can’t move - don’t panic. It will pass in a minute. It’s just a lag time in your sleep/wake cycle.


20



Go for walks together as a family before or after dinner. Sometimes we go for distance, sometimes we call them "safaris" and look for as many living creatures as we can find.


4



When they’re upset just ask what they need: space, distraction, or talk about it.


12



Plastic stackable dresser - 5 drawers labeled for days of the week. Put outfits in each. No drama emergencies on school days, the week’s wardrobe is planned out.


5



Check your ego and question your motives. Are you in it for the right reasons or because of how it would look if you weren’t? Do you feel like you need to be a hero or the smartest one in the room? If the answer is yes I would strongly recommend that you get right with yourself.


13, 16, 19, 21



Show them a picture of a riptide and explain about swimming parallel to the shore instead of fighting it. Google Outer Banks NC green fluorescent dye in riptide.


9-15



A wise friend once told me that the kids will do as well as you do. You can’t be a good parent if you’re a miserable person. Do what you need to do to stay healthy and sane.


1, 5, 15, 21



Pool safety- never touch equipment and always have a grownup present when swimming.


3-8



Some things just don’t come easy. That’s the point. Practice working for what you want. Nothing is sweeter than when you accomplish something you set out to do. Go for it!


11, 14, 17, 21



Blessing for the Brokenhearted: Poem by Jan Richardson ___________ "There is no remedy for love but to love more." – Henry David Thoreau ________________________ ________________________ Let us agree for now that we will not say the breaking makes us stronger or that it is better to have this pain than to have done without this love. __________Let us promise we will not tell ourselves time will heal the wound, when every day our waking opens it anew. ___________Perhaps for now it can be enough to simply marvel at the mystery of how a heart so broken can go on beating, as if it were made for precisely this— as if it knows the only cure for love is more of it, as if it sees the heart’s sole remedy for breaking is to love still, as if it trusts that its own persistent pulse is the rhythm of a blessing we cannot begin to fathom but will save us nonetheless.


20



Always know where the main water shut-off is in your house.


18



You’re going to be okay if your relationship ends. You were a whole person before them and you’ll be a whole person after. - therapy Jeff


15, 21



Put a few drops of tea tree oil in their shampoo bottle to keep lice at bay. If there’s a outbreak at school, add more. (Or spritz their hair with a tea tree oil solution.)


5-7



I like to say a Hail Mary just to join the chorus, to add my voice to the millions who are praying in that moment. The world has plenty of people thinking or doing horrible things, we need to add to the good, add to the beauty as much as possible at every turn. Saying a quick prayer is sometimes all I can muster.


9-19



Someone I admire is __________. Talk about someone you admire and why. Ask them to do the same. Do this often as you can. Reticket through age 18.


4



Choose to love despite the rage. See poem by Lucas Jones “ I Will Teach My Sons to be Dangerous Men.”


12, 14, 16, 19, 21



Never allow anyone to tell you who you are.


17



You’re not obsessed with that person you’re just hyper fixating. It’s ADHD.


12, 16, 19, 21



“Courage is cheaper than Channel. It works better too.” - Scott Galloway


14, 15, 16, 21



Before a play date or sleepover ask the parent “Are there any unlocked guns in the house?”


6-9



Kindness Confidence = Popular (Be kind to everyone, paying no attention to social status, age, looks, money or disability.) Be confident: Know that you are enough. You’ll never be perfect but no one else is either. When you mess up it’s not the end of the world- laugh at yourself when possible. Learn from failures. Don’t fake interest in people or things that don’t fill you up. Be who you are! People gravitate towards kindness and confidence


12



Throw some love at a problem.


12, 15, 21



Plan a trip someplace where we can see the Northern Lights.


15



Listen to records, a whole album at a time. 2 or 3 in a row. Bring friends, eat, drink, hangout, be goofy, dance, etc.


14-18



Watch Abby Wambach's 2018 Barnard commencement address together.


16



Read "A Wrinkle in Time" (me too.)


10



Bottom line bible quote: Psalm 37:3 “Trust in the LORD and do good.” That pretty much covers everything.


13, 21