No one is ever really ready to be a parent. It’s definitely on the job training! But I’ll say this: If you’re prepared to put your family’s needs before your own, you’re as ready as anyone can be.


21



No matter how smart you are or how much you know, you still don’t know everything. ALWAYS be willing to learn and to change your position when faced with new information or perspective.


15, 20



For a bad cut / gash, use a rolled up washcloth or hand towel to apply pressure until you can get to an ER. If you have to drive yourself or need your hands free, secure the towel in place with duct tape.


18



I’m cool with “C”s. Do good work but don’t put too much pressure yourself.


14



Self-care is active not passive. (Zoning-out on the couch or sleeping all day isn’t self-care.)


13, 15



Don’t ask for anything until you’ve done what has been asked of you.


5



Intimacy is a feeling of safety. To let yourself be seen, touched, known, without defenses.


17, 21



Hand out tulip bulbs (or some sort of bulbs) at my funeral and ask people to plant a few in their yard. But NOT daffodils. I hate daffodils. And lilies, hate ‘em.) So tulips then.


21



Changed behavior is the only real apology.


15



Turn on the closed captions on tv. Reading them is almost unconscious. Even better, set the audio to a language other than English and turn on English captions.


4-9



If you have to pretend to be someone else to get or keep a relationship or job, etc. then that relationship/job is not for you!


15, 17, 21



The secret to getting sinks and surfaces to shine is to dry-buff them after you clean them. Keep a soft clean rag or washcloth around so you can dry fixtures and sinks and counter tops. (They should be cleaning their own bathrooms by this age.)


11



Clip nails after bath. It’s easier to do when they’re softer. (Teach them the same thing when they’re old enough to do it for themselves.)


1, 10



You’ve been entrusted with so much. Think about how much of an honor that is, and how big a responsibility.


16, 18, 21



"Surround yourself with people who trust and get YOU." - Josh Groban, High Point University 2018 commencement address. Note, I love that quote because it speaks to having a tribe, a close group of friends. But it's also important to surround yourself with people who challenge you, who may not agree with you or have the same perspective as you do.


14-19



Keep a pair of nail clippers in the car - much better lighting outside. Clipping tiny fingernails is terrifying!


Infant-1



1

Remind them they’re safe to feel whatever they’re feeling.


2, 12, 21



You’ll miss me when I’m gone, but if I did my job right you won’t need me.


21



Live a life of dignity and joy.


14, 21



Model good nutrition and fitness routine.


4



Remember what a teenaged sh*t you were before throwing in the towel on the next generation. We’re all self-centered, entitled and oblivious when we’re young. The goal is that they don’t *stay* that way. Be the parent they need, and they’ll listen. It may take a year or twenty, but they’ll see the light if you just pour love into them.


12-21



Grandpa always said everything boils down to how you treat people. Always treating people with kindness and respect is the most important lesson he wanted to get across to us.


12-21



Try using “No doesn’t tell me your needs” when toddler / little kid disobeys. “Were you trying to be funny? Do you need a minute?”


3



Cut people some slack, everyone is entitled to a bad day.


17-20



A hard day’s work is something to be proud of, not afraid of.


8, 12, 15, 20



Two rules: First, don’t be a sh!tty person. 2. Try to have some fun. Everything else is just “whatever.”


13, 21



A person is only as good as how they treat you when they are angry with you.


17



“The flower does not dream of the bee. It blossoms


15



“For better or worse means no matter what life throws at us, not no matter what you do to me.” - Brenda Linn


19, 21



Colin Powell’s 13 rules: 1. It ain't as bad as you think. It will look better in the morning. 2. Get mad, then get over it. 3. Avoid having your ego so close to your position that when your position falls, your ego goes with it. 4. It can be done. 5. Be careful what you choose. You may get it. 6. Don't let adverse facts stand in the way of a good decision. 7. You can't make someone else's choices. You shouldn't let someone else make yours. 8. Check small things. 9. Share credit. 10. Remain calm. Be kind. 11. Have a vision. Be demanding. 12. Don't take counsel of your fears or naysayers. 13. Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier.


11, 14, 18