You are 100% replaceable at work. You are not replaceable at home. A good work ethic is crucial but don’t drain yourself to the point that you don’t have anything left for your family and friends.


21



Try house music for focus. Spotify “uplifting trance” playlists. Better than Adderall by a mile.


12, 13, 16



Surround yourself with people, places and spaces that feed your spirit. At the very least, avoid those that drain your spirit.


17



Let people do what they want to do so you can see what they’d rather do.


16



"You think your pain and your heartbreak are unprecedented in the history of the world, but then you read." ~ James Baldwin


14, 19



Career is so important to your life satisfaction. Do what makes you happy. If you’re really at a loss for what you want to do for work, then go where you’re needed.


18, 21



Sometimes it’s easier to describe what a thing is *not* than to describe what it is.


14, 21



Be weird. Be happy. Be you. xoxo


12



It’s okay to feel jealous. Totally normal, totally human. Just never act on jealousy.


12, 14, 16, 19, 21



Putting up the Christmas tree the weekend or next after Thanksgiving, then watching Polar Express in the glow of the lights. Maybe the smell of gingerbread cookies baking too.


5-9



You are not your thoughts. Focus more on your choices / actions.


17



Practice your signature


13



Learn to recover from life’s stresses intentionally and thoughtfully. Practice listening for what your body needs in that moment. And then go get it.


10, 13, 17, 21



Healing takes time. You can't rush it. Whether it's your body, your mind or your heart that's hurting... you just have to let it heal in its own time. What you CAN do is to take good care of yourself: eat, rest, stay close to loved ones. Do things that bring you joy. Revel in the smallest steps forward. You'll heal, things will get better. Trust. Love. Serve. Live.


20



Take a CPR class together. Emphasize importance of staying certified ( or making a habit of watching an online course every year on the same day, like the day after Thanksgiving or something like that.


17



Marry for character, not just chemistry.


17, 21



Physical contact between two people is only fun / appropriate / legal / healthy if both people are into it. If one party objects, demurs or even acts less-than-interested, that’s the ballgame. Stop physical contact immediately. Be kind and respectful at all times.


15, 18



We don’t snoop. Never read a correspondence (email, letter, text, note, etc.) that is not intended for your eyes, or listen in to a conversation that is not intended for your ears. The right to privacy is sacred. Always respect people’s privacy and set the expectation that others do the same for you.


10



We feel best when we create. No amount of food, video games or any self-destructive habits will fill that hole. So why fight it?!? Create something, even if it’s as small as a little sketch or poem. Grow a garden, bake a cake. Start a business! Whatever your beautiful heart desires.


12, 15, 18, 21



In professional setting: Limit one exclamation point per email, if any. Definitely no emoticons.


19



“Tell me the story of your day.” (Works better than “how was your day?”


5, 6, 10



Isometrics for “punishment” (wall sits, arm lifts, planks, etc.)


5



SAT prep https://www.nytimes.com/2017/04/10/opinion/how-i-learned-to-take-the-sat-like-a-rich-kid.html?referer=http%253A%252F%252Fm.facebook.com%252F


16



Before speaking (or texting) ask yourself three questions: Is it kind? Is it true? Is it necessary? If not all three, don’t speak. (PS “kind” isn’t the same as good news. You can deliver bad news with kindness.)


11, 14, 20



I forget who said it but I love it: “I don’t know what I think until I write it down.” Paper and pen. Write. Keep it or burn it whatever you like. Journal or make a list or bullet points or narrative…whatever. Just write.


15, 21



• you can't make anyone love you • not every relationship is meant to last forever • sometimes two good people can make one bad relationship.


16-20



If your car is overheating turn on the heat full blast. It draws heat off the engine.


16



Ask “Is there anything you want to get off your chest?” Confession is good for the soul! Get in the habit of being a place of support when they screw up. Then when they’re older and REALLY screw up, they know they can trust you to help.


8