Change “I need to” to “this matters because”. Instead of “I need to walk the dog” say “it matters that I walk the dog because he needs exercise and to check p-mail.” (Helps!)
8, 11, 16, 21
There's an old saying that goes something like "Don't focus on how big your problems are, focus instead on how big your God is." On a certain level, that's way too simple, even trite. But without discounting the real pain you might be experiencing in a moment of crisis, I encourage you to embrace that sentiment. You can't forget about the problem, but you can change your focus, and decide to cling to the goodness of the Lord.
15
I stopped worrying about you by the time you were seven. (I’m not talking about your safety and health, that I’ll always worry about!) But I knew you were a joyful, generous, kind, smart and well-mannered person. You were a great friend, supportive and fun. You would be a good partner, and would contribute so much good to society. I could see you had a curious mind, an active imagination and more than a healthy dose of courage.
15, 21
Try house music for focus. Spotify “uplifting trance” playlists. Better than Adderall by a mile.
12, 13, 16
Life is like the ocean: Filled with energy, beauty, scary schit, lots of interesting creatures and so much to be in awe of. We couldn’t possibly control it but we can be a part of it.
16
Today is not the day to lose your sh*t. Deep breaths, cold water, do your hair. You’re gonna be just fine.
1-21
Take the family on periodic “spending fasts.” As an exercise, go a day, a weekend or a week without spending any money. Make due with what you have. Encourage participation. Tie in spending fasts with holidays, lent or in support of a cause.
7
Yes, push yourself and see how far / fast / high you can go (physically, academically, etc.) But remember, you have nothing to prove to anyone except yourself.
14, 17, 21
Toddler not interested in food? Hand them a random kitchen gadget to play with while you’re feeding them dinner, they’ll eat more if distracted.
1,2
You can get into big trouble (with school and the law) even by fake / joke threats of violence (bomb threat, etc.) No jokes or pranks that have anything to do with violence.
11
Alcohol is a depressant. Never drink to feel better. It will only make things hurt worse and be worse. Only drink in celebration or community. Never to numb. That sh*t is poison. Pure $@!#% juice.
18, 19, 21
Stuff will happen and you’ll think “I can’t get through this. I can’t go on.” In the moment it really feels that way. But ...You will survive. You’ll find a way. Never give up on yourself. I never will.
17
Sex: There's no single way to do it "right" but there are lots of ways to do it wrong. Not being respectful and tender towards your partner is usually at the root of "wrong" ways to do it. Also, there is no rush. You may think all your friends are "doing it." They're not. Take your time.
16
Never take friendships for granted. Show up. Reach out. Be there when they need you. Friends are gifts; tend to those relationships with love.
15, 20
To paraphrase Ted Lasso, it’s the people who think they’ve got it all figured out who delight in judging people and events. It’s better to be open minded, ask questions. Be curious, not judgmental.
15, 21
When someone hurts us or REALLY pisses us off... We have to pray for them. It’s hard to stay mad at someone you’re praying for.
8-18
Tell them who they are: kind, creative, smart etc. A person of honor and integrity, a part of the divine universe. Demonstrate for them what it means to live according to your values. Encourage them to listen to their body, guide them on how they might best find (and align with) their truest nature. Listen to them when they’re exploring what that might look like. Support them when they decide.
1, 2, 5, 7, 12, 16, 18, 21
At dinner time, go around the table and share your “highs and lows” for the day. (Re-ticket up to 21)
5
Being well-read is better (and cheaper) than an advanced degree, especially for broader education. Stay curious and read!! Fiction, non-fiction, biographies ...
15, 18, 21
Give baby a banana before bed and they’ll sleep through the night. (Obviously once they’re on solid food.)
1
Read poem “Wild Geese” by Mary Oliver. (“...You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves...”)
17