Check in on your friends. Even the ones that seem fine.


14-21



Don’t waste your life’s purpose worrying about what other people think about you.


12, 15, 21



Get book “Talk to Me First: Everything You Need to Know to Become Your Kids'Go-To Person about Sex.” by Deborah Roffman.


7



Little trick for acne treatment: dandruff shampoo. Wash your face with Head and Shoulders and watch your skin clear up.


13-17



People always say “Be yourself.” That’s good advice but really what does it mean? I think it’s easier to explain what it DOESN’T mean: When you’re being yourself you’re not pretending to be interested in something or someone you’re not. You’re not doing something just to please someone else (or just to tick them off.) You’re not wearing anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. You’re not pretending to have fun when you’re not having fun. You’re not trying to impress anyone. You’re not trying to fade into the background. You’re not trying to change anything about yourself or someone else. I think that’s a good start. What does “being yourself” mean to you?


11-14, 18, 21



We struggle so much when we don’t know ourselves. Are you a thinker (creative, big picture) or a doer (meticulous, task-oriented.) Both are great by the way.


16, 21



In the wise words of Taylor Swift, you don’t have to forgive or forget in order to move on. You can just…move on.


15, 21



The Golden Rule is wrong. At least when it comes to relationships and especially when it comes to parenting. Instead of treating someone how you’d want to be treated, treat them how THEY’D want to be treated.__ Learn what THEY need to feel safe and loved, how THEY express big feelings like fear, anxiety, anger and frustration.___ Instead of assuming the friend/partner/child /coworker wants to be treated how you’d want to be, take the time to learn about them. Then when someone you love is in distress you can respond to them in the way they need. ___(Lesson learned from reading The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. Great book. A little preachy but push past that. )


1, 13, 19



Yes, you’re beautiful. But that’s not ALL you are. And it isn’t all that’s expected of you. Surely you could “get by” on your looks. Is that what you want for yourself?


10, 15



Compassion: Acting with love when faced with another’s suffering.


16



Worst thing in the world is spending your life with the wrong person.


21



When they turn 18 they should have a will, a financial power of attorney and a medical PoA.


17,18



Set up a 529 plan. Virginia has a great plan if you don't want to do too much research https://www.savingforcollege.com/


birth-age 3



"Tough times don't last. Tough people do."


11-14



1

Play to win but play fair. Be a gracious winner. Someone has to lose. Sometimes it will be you. Don’t whine.


10



Practice sitting still and quiet. Make it a game. Helps with focus and impulsivity.


4-7



Toddler years: Tater tots make everything better. The smaller ones cook faster and you don't have to turn them.


2



Google the “tea metaphor” for a discussion about consent.


17



Set up a 529 plan. Virginia has a great plan if you don't want to do too much research https://www.savingforcollege.com/


birth-age 3



Be thankful for opportunities to be of service. It means God is trusting you to help.


8-14



Opioids are highly addictive. If possible, stay away from them entirely and definitely not for more than 2-3 days. Manage pain with NSAIDS or Tylenol.


16, 18, 21



Your sex life should be safe, happy, healthy and consensual. It may or may include going all the way. There’s no rush, every relationship is different. You should feel safe and so should your partner. A lot will be a mystery but you should feel safe. You should be able to trust that your partner won’t intentionally hurt you, emotionally or physically. If you don’t trust your partner to keep you safe, get out.


17



Come and go in peace.


12, 15, 21



Talking to people you disagree with is sometimes difficult. But it doesn’t have to be. Enter every conversion assuming you have something to learn.


14, 18, 21



There are things you should not say: Never comment or ask a woman about her age or weight. Never comment on how many kids someone has (or doesn’t have.) The size, timing, composition, etc of someone else’s family is not your business to weigh in on. You never know who is struggling with loss or infertility, etc. And if someone announces they are expecting their seventh kid, the only correct response is “Congratulations” “How are you feeling?” etc. Just like you would if it was their first. Never ask someone how much weight they lost. If they’ve lost weight, just say “You look wonderful/amazing/ fantastic, etc.” And of course never comment on anyone having gained weight. Just say “You look wonderful.” And never never never ask someone how much money they earn or how much money they have, or how much they owe or paid for something, etc. People’s finances are personal, and are just not any of your business.


15, 20



Quoting Glennon Doyle: “Things can feel hard and sad and still be exactly right, all at the same time.” She’s referring to her divorce but the sentiment applies to all kinds of tough choices that we all make. Very few choices feel 100% right.


17



Respect people’s boundaries / quirks. Someone who “doesn’t fly” may have fear of enclosed spaces due to anxiety or past trauma. Someone who doesn’t drink may have had a parent who was an abusive alcoholic. Don’t laugh, question or prod. If they want to talk about it, fine. Otherwise just accept their boundaries.


15, 21



Be mindful of the patterns we’re falling into as a family. Teach them to be mindful of their patterns too.


6, 8, 12, 18



Paying extra for organic isn’t always worth it but I ALWAYS buy organic apples. They taste better and don’t have the pesticides, etc.


18



Golf lessons. Grampa loved golf, if he were here he would have taught you himself.


9