Things are rarely perfect, but things that are less-than-ideal aren't all bad to the same degree. Let's talk about making buckets for "not ideal but I can put up with it" and "deal-breaker." Works for all kinds of situations. Another variation of this is to grade the suckiness of a situation on a scale of 1-10. Have them decide at what point action is needed vs. just putting up with it. This one works well for hunger. Yes, you're hungry, but on a scale of 1-10, how hungry? It also works for relationships! There are plenty of things about a spouse that are less than ideal, but how many are true deal-breakers? Teach them to understand the difference.


5, 21



Read at least one biography every semester. between winners and losers read about the failures read about the great men and women read about historical figures American icon stage and film to battlefields to business read all about how great men and women made themselves great and learn from them here are a few to start Ted Kennedy he gets north star am Kristin Chenoweth Tina Fey I’m reading one now on call baker from the Bush administration Barack Obama Jimmy Carter Ronald Reagan Kennedy Roosevelt all those guys as well as Michelle Obama Jackie Kennedy all of those. Draft


19



Brambly Hedge series by Jill Barklem.


2-5



Sponsor a child in a developing country. Write letters, learn about their country and their life.


8



Never make a decision from a place of hopelessness.


14, 16, 21



Don't say anything out loud that you wouldn't want repeated or overheard. Don't email / text, etc. anything that you wouldn't want forwarded.


11-15



1

Life is like the ocean: Filled with energy, beauty, scary schit, lots of interesting creatures and so much to be in awe of. We couldn’t possibly control it but we can be a part of it.


16



When someone hurts us or REALLY pisses us off... We have to pray for them. It’s hard to stay mad at someone you’re praying for.


8-18



Look into YMCA “family camp” in PA.


7



Let it go. They’re going to make really stupid choices. I drank AND smoked in high school. We all go through it. They need to be able to trust you and rely on you. They’re navigating the world and they need a safe harbor. Be that safe harbor. It’s more important than fighting over stupid behavior. Let them know you don’t approve - sure, but fighting over stupid stuff is just going to make you both bitter.


14, 15, 16, 17



American Sign Language course


15



Drinking doesn’t work like climbing a hill, it works like surfing waves. “More” is not always better. Once you feel tipsy, drinking more will make you feel *worse*. Remember “more alcohol will ruin my buzz.” Coast, recover, then okay to start again.


14. 15. 17. 18. 21



Whatever you choose to do, do it well and there will always be a demand for you. (Quoting Adam Schiff from his book “Midnight in Washington.”


16



Work Hard. Do your best. Keep your word. Never get too big for your britches. Trust in God. Have no fear


15, 21



Some books you loved when you were a toddler: Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day, Horton Hatches an Egg, Room on the Broom, Gruffalo.


2-4



“You rarely have time for everything you want in this life, so you need to make choices. And hopefully your choices can come from a deep sense of who you are.” -Mr. Rogers


15



Big secret to happiness: Let other people talk sh*t about you. They have a right to an opinion and you have the right to ignore it. The only standards you have to live up to are your own.


12, 14, 17, 21



It's a skill to learn how to love people the way they need to be loved. I highly recommend reading the Five Love Languages.


18, 21



Don’t worry about finding your person. Focus on finding your people.


15, 21



Forget perfection. Nothing is perfect. No relationship, job, house, or day is perfect. Let go of expectations, be open to the mess.


18



A simple blessing to silently pray over someone: “May he (she) be healthy, May he be safe. O Lord bless him with peace and joy.” Pray for people you know, for strangers on the elevator, for teachers, world leaders, friends or foes, etc. It’s one way to make the world a better place, and it turns your heart closer to God.


15



One of the funny/sensitive things about puberty is that kids can be the same age chronologically while being wildly varied in terms of development. Kid might be 6 feet tall in seventh grade or be a senior in high school and still not shaving. Everyone is self conscious, praying to avoid embarrassment. It’s all just part of growing up. Be kind to yourself and to your equally mortified peers.


11, 12, 13



Be the kind of man that people feel safe around. Safe from harm, safe from judgment and safe from ridicule.


17



“You don’t emerge from $@!#% empty-handed” a friend once told me. Even the worst periods of your life will bring gifts. Be thankful for those gifts, and enjoy them.


19



Begin to teach self-policing. There are plenty of good things that I want them to be able to partake in (alcohol, a trip to Vegas, etc.) but alcohol and gambling are just a few of the things that can sneak up and take hold and RUIN your life if you don’t know how to self-limit. Respect the potential danger and be vigilant. keep re-ticketing and repeat yearly (age-appropriate)


11



Micro-internships. Check out Parker Dewey for ideas.


16, 17, 18



If someone doesn’t want your attention or warrant your attention, don’t give it.


15



Key to a happy marriage: each of you must love and support the person in front of them. Not the person you married or the person you hope they will grow into. We all change and grow. Not all of it is for the better, especially our looks ha ha. We shouldn’t make our spouse feel obligated to stay the same person they were when we fell in love with them. In marriage as in business as in life: If you’re not growing you’re dying.


21



Sometimes big stuff happens. Big good, big bad, big change. It will take some time to adjust. Maybe a month, a season, a semester or maybe a year or longer. Gear up. Psych yourself up for a difficult day/month/year. You can do this. Stay present, don’t get ahead of yourself or get bogged down in what’s done. “What if?” and “if-only’s” are not your friends. Be good to yourself and be good to others. Rest, nourish, create, have fun and keep the faith.


15, 21



That trope “everything happens for a reason” is, I think, b.s. But I absolutely agree that you can find meaning in anything good or bad.


17