Make an album Or Shutterfly book about Mom and Dad’s wedding and marriage. Stress themes of love, kindness, sacrifice, shared values and putting the other first. Talk about managing conflict in a loving relationship doesn’t mean never fighting but it does mean fighting fair. Make it an annual tradition to read through it and talk about marriage on their anniversary. (The next best thing to modeling a happy marriage.
9
My ballet teacher used to punish us by making us sit on the floor and hold our arms up. It hurts! But you learn how to sit with pain. You learn how to endure and how to use your mind to make your muscles really don’t want to do.
14, 20
Practice a neutral expression: Interested but not excited. A “poker face” is a good skill to know and will come in handy a lot!
13, 16, 18, 21
It's a skill to learn how to love people the way they need to be loved. I highly recommend reading the Five Love Languages.
18, 21
That little space between stimulus and response...that’s all the control we get. That space is ours to do with. That space is fertile ground for addiction, for faith, for peace or pain. When the sh*t hits the fan, resist the urge to run away from the pain. Trying to dull it will only make it grow deeper roots.
19
Keep difficult conversations brief. Under ten minutes then table it so everyone can process.
13, 14, 16. 19, 21
You’re someone’s cup of tea. I don’t mean there is only one person out there for you, I mean someone is waiting to love you exactly how you are. Stop wasting time with fools who want to change you to fit their ideal.
15, 19, 21
Letting go isn’t something active. Rather, it’s something you stop doing. Stop hoping. Stop fooling yourself. Stop wishing things were different.
17, 21
A lesson from author Tom Zumba. I hope you’ll never need it: “There is nothing nothing easy about this thing called grief. Nothing. But I ask you to please please please say yes more often than you say no. Say yes to you. To possibility. To hope. To love. To life. To healing. Please choose the light more often than you choose the darkness. Not that there aren't gifts in the darkness. There are. But it's often so much easier to find them the gifts in the light. Do all you can to stay in the light. Please remember that the person you love so so so dearly lived. Don't forget that. He lived. She lived. Here with you. And your relationship continues. Always. Don't be so overwhelmed and paralyzed and pissed off that he died that she died that you spend most of your time focusing on their death. Focus on your life. Together. Say yes as often as you can. Choose light as often as you can. Remember that he lived as often as you can. Don't lose her in the details of her death. This thing called grief is hard hard hard work. But you are stronger than you think. His book is called Permission to Mourn
21
“If the pain was deep you will have to let it go many times.” Yung Pueblo from book Lighter
15, 18, 21
It’s okay to feel jealous. Totally normal, totally human. Just never act on jealousy.
12, 14, 16, 19, 21
There is so much darkness in the world - keep pushing back against it every way you can. Be a force for good.
14, 16, 21
“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.” - Maya Angelou
12, 15, 21
That trope “everything happens for a reason” is, I think, b.s. But I absolutely agree that you can find meaning in anything good or bad.
17
“The beginning parts are always the scariest.” -Jackson Daily (kid reporter on Today Show.)
10, 12, 16
Happiness: Someone (or some creature) to love, something to do and something to hope for. Don’t get too caught up in the rat race, money doesn’t mean you’ve arrived.
20
Watch the news together. Local and national. Today Show has both of mornings are easier than evenings.
12, 13, 14, 15
Don’t have a clue? (Relationships / career / character, etc.) The solutions can be found in books. READ! Novels, biographies, history, religion, humor, politics, finance, sports, and whatever sparks your interests at the moment!) You’ll learn about the world, and you’ll learn about yourself. READ!!!! (or listen!)
12, 15, 18, 20
Beware of those forces that aim to pit good people against each other. Injustices hurt our sensibilities- as they should. So instead of bickering about who’s been wronged worse, let’s join hands and fight injustice on every front. If you get caught up in comparisons, everyone loses.
16
Look into going to college abroad. Research international universities. Spain, Netherlands, etc.
15, 16
Work on developing a “no shortcuts” mode. Looking for a faster/easier/bare-minimum option isn’t always bad. People get paid a lot of money for creating efficacy. But there are times when that approach is wrong. Anything you want to grow from (relationships, school, work, wealth, health, knowledge, etc.) those things deserve your full effort, focus and dedication. Play. Definitely play! But don’t f*ck around.
12, 14, 15, 18, 19, 21
Family & Home
Character, Education & Self-Reliance
Sports, Health, Safety & Appearance
Arts, Literature & Self Expression
Science, Technology, Skills & General Knowledge
Fun, Adventure & Travel
Faith & Philosophy
Finances
Emotional Development & Mental Health
Nature, Animals & the Environment
Social Justice, Civics & Humanitarianism
Relationships & Career