Every “yes” to something is a “no” to something else. Take your time processing the choices - write in your journal, sweat it out, listen to music, talk to someone you trust, read books from experts. Once you’re clear about what you’re giving up, let it go and don’t look back. (Remember there’s no advice that’s right more than 99% of the time. Always trust your gut. Just remember an impulse isn’t the same thing as a gut check.)
15, 16, 19, 21
Everyone has times when they don’t get their way. They lose, or fall short in competition. Everyone fails. Very few are able to fail gracefully, keeping conscious of their their dignity, not losing their sense of humor, etc. Cultivate a resilient mindset. Sometimes if you can’t beat them it really is a good thing to join them. Sometimes it’s better to go down swinging. As far as enduring a bad situation, the saying goes “If you can’t get out of it, then get into it.” Meaning, make the absolute best of it. Excel, delight in your circumstances as much as possible. You won’t stay down for long.
10, 11, 13, 15, 18, 21
Read the Hobbit aloud with him. Afterward, encourage him to read The Lord of the Rings by himself.
9
Compete for the last meatball at Sunday dinner: Biggest burp, telling the best story, finished vegetables first, etc.
5
Learn the difference between keeping secrets and keeping some things to yourself. Never kiss and tell. Err on the side of saying less rather than more.
13, 15, 19
Ask him to memorize and recite William Ernest Henley poem “Invictus” as a Christmas present for me.
15
Whatever you choose to do, do it well and there will always be a demand for you. (Quoting Adam Schiff from his book “Midnight in Washington.”
16
SAT Prep https://www.nytimes.com/2017/04/10/opinion/how-i-learned-to-take-the-sat-like-a-rich-kid.html
16
Get to know your body, push yourself in terms of strength and endurance. You're stronger than you think. You're growing stronger every day. Your body is amazing and healthy. Take care of it! Enjoy it! Use your amazing strength and energy to do good in the world.
12-16
Be the kind of man that people feel safe around. Safe from harm, safe from judgment and safe from ridicule.
17
We’re all just so delicate. It’s just our nature. Treat others (and yourself) accordingly. Even/ especially the ones that seem to be tough as nails or sharp as wire. Try not to lose sight of that.
13, 16, 20
Sometimes good people aren’t a good match. It’s better for both of you if you’re honest with yourself and with them.
17, 21
There will be some losses or changes that completely shake you to the core. But remember that some bad experiences are like pooping your pants - Totally horrible but also kind of a relief.
19
Actions have consequences- so does inaction. Avoiding a problem or decision is not an effective solution.
18
Difficult conversations: Break-ups, layoffs, etc. happen. Practice delivering bad news and getting bad news.
15-21
Keep difficult conversations brief. Under ten minutes then table it so everyone can process.
13, 14, 16. 19, 21
Talking to people you disagree with is sometimes difficult. But it doesn’t have to be. Enter every conversion assuming you have something to learn.
14, 18, 21
Beautiful girls don’t exist for your pleasure. They’re not there for you. They, like you, exist to find out what it is to be alive in their body in this lifetime and to learn what makes them feel most like themself. They’re here, like you, to grow into themselves, to enjoying being alive, to marvel in creation with all its beauty and tragedy, injustices, banality and thrills. No one, friend or foe is an object for your experience
14, 16, 19, 21
“ It was my high school drama teacher who made sure I knew there was space for me in this world. Her kind words had a tremendous impact on my life. If you don’t know where to begin, start with “I see you. I love you. I’m so happy you’re here.” -Chasten Buttigieg
12
Talk about how choices become habits. Habits can become addictions. Describe how pathways are literally dug into the brain and it's very hard to change them once those paths are made.
13-16
What’s the Mark Twain quote about it’s not what you don’t know that gets you into trouble it’s what you know for sure that just ain’t true.
13, 21
"The only way to work through sh*tty feelings is to walk through sh*tty feelings." - Psychologist Kristen Howe Hard lesson, but big truth.
15