Having an opinion is not the same thing as having an informed opinion. If you don't know enough about a subject to speak intelligently about it, keep quiet and educate yourself.


12, 18



Respect people’s privacy. No snooping, eavesdropping, peeping, etc.


11



No need to over communicate. Brief, simple succinct when conveying instructions or important information. Applies across the board personal/professional etc.


14, 17, 21



Marry for character, not just chemistry.


17, 21



It’s okay to feel jealous. Totally normal, totally human. Just never act on jealousy.


12, 14, 16, 19, 21



“When it comes to consequences, don’t speak what you won’t serve.” Meaning don’t threaten any punishment you’re not willing to enforce. This is helpful in terms of teaching the child a lesson and also an important lesson in not shooting yourself in the foot. (I took away your tv one day you were home on a snow day. Bad idea. That punishment was against my own interest! I got no work done.


2



Set up a 529 plan. Virginia has a great plan if you don't want to do too much research https://www.savingforcollege.com/


birth-age 3



Eat with purpose, not for it. Sometimes the purpose is fuel, sometimes celebration. Eat accordingly!


19, 21



When they’re upset just ask what they need: space, distraction, or talk about it.


12



Remember this blessing. You are whole. You are lacking nothing. There is nothing that you must achieve, accomplish, or earn. There is no station of graduate, or married, or children, or partner, or famous, or 120 pounds, or, you know, 4% body fat. There is nothing that you must earn, attain, or accomplish to prove your worthiness. You will learn and grow and change. That's part of being human. But there is nothing about you, there is nothing about your worth that is different on any day of your life. No matter what, no matter when, you are precious, and you are whole. You are safe. You are sound. You are secure.


10, 14, 18, 21



The universe is cheering for you!


14, 16, 18, 20



Sometimes we’re just not ready to appreciate or understand a book or film or piece of art. Revisit them as you age.


19, 21



“When little people get overwhelmed by big feelings it’s our job to share our calm, not join their chaos.” L.R. Knost


1, 2, 3, 4, 10



I just want to to know that I didn’t know what the $@!#% I was doing. It’s a miracle you turned out so beautifully! Just know you don’t have to have it all figured out. You’re going to have a wonderful life. xoxo - Mom


21



Always wear an undershirt underneath a dress shirt.


13



I wrestle with leaving the church but I want to save you a lifetime of feelings of unworthiness. It’s totally normal to feel like you’re not good enough. We all battle those kinds of insecurities, so the last thing we need is to be taught that God thinks it too. Know that in reality we are all precious, down to the subatomic level. So when you think you’re unworthy, shake it off! You belong in every room you enter.


13, 15, 21



Sometimes the only thing you can do is to show up. Be there.


13, 15, 17, 21



This Coda is my creation. It’s what I wanted to accomplish as a parent. What you do with it is entirely up to you. I hope you never feel like you have to do the same. Make your own way. Make yourself proud. If you’re happy, I’m happy.


21



Chemistry is not the same thing as compatibility.


16, 19, 21



There are a lot of people I care about. But I’ve decided there are only four whose opinion of me I care about: My kid, my god, myself and my dog.


18



Failed? Lift yourself up, or live there. You know the work you need to do, be it physical, mental, emotional or spiritual, etc. So do it. Do the work. The only bitterness in failure comes from not having the guts to get back up again.


12, 16, 18, 20, 21



Look for glimmers. The opposite of triggers. Feels of elation, belonging, peaceful contentment. I just watched you glimmer as you delighted in your first Crunchbox. “I made this!!!”


12, 15, 19, 21



Look into language school. Now is a good time to start learning Chinese, Spanish or Arabic.


5-8



If you don’t know where to begin, picture where you want it to end, and work it backwards.


15, 21



Men worry about getting laughed at or rejected by a woman. Women worry about getting killed when they reject a man. Let that sink in.


15, 21



Failures are part of life. Feel free to fail. But behave with honor. Never do anything to tarnish your good name.


14, 18



Give your all on the job, from your first day to your last day there. If you’re all caught up on your work help someone else with theirs.


17, 21



Practice being okay with someone misunderstanding you. Not everyone is going to “get” you. That’s okay.


14, 19, 21



Sometimes hookups don’t go well. The vibe is off for whatever reason. Stop. It’s okay to say “actually, let’s just call it a night.” Trust your gut. Be kind but never apologize for saying no-thanks.


15, 20



Walking at night during the wintertime remember to wear a bright scarf or something reflective. So many pedestrians get hit when it’s dark outside because they’re wearing dark colors and drivers can’t see them.


15, 20