Some days it feels like your world is falling apart, but what's really happening is that it's falling into place. Make good choices. Be kind. Be brave. Trust.
It’s so tempting to write someone off, to dismiss them as “less than.” They’re too young or too old to be taken seriously. They speak a different language or have a different skin color. They may be poor, uneducated, disabled or just simply unattractive. RESIST that temptation. Remember that every human being is God’s creation, a masterpiece cloaked in dignity. No matter what they look like or even what they’ve done, everyone you meet is deserving (and in need) of respect. To be humble is to remember this. (Start lesson young, phrased age-appropriately, and reticket yearly. Look for opportunities to discuss.)
I love that you got chills from watching Wicked. You were 10 and already affected emotionally and physically by music. Bonus points for listening to and acknowledging how your body talks to you.
My mom used to proudly describe herself as an “Irish Catholic Democrat.”
I think my dad voted for Reagan once but other than that we’re all pretty liberal.
The next world is perfect and permanent. This world is neither, so save yourself the stress of trying to make things perfect (house, job, body, relationships, bank account, etc.) Embrace the impermanence by cherishing the good times. Know that the bad times won’t last. Remember that you are loved very much, and that God will shower you with the grace you need to handle whatever this imperfect life throws at you.
You will never be good enough for the wrong person. This truth is profound and one I wish I learned a lot earlier in my life. Stop tripping over yourself to please someone who doesn’t get you.
They’re very teachable at this age. When behavior is bad, send to their room for a brief “time-out.”
Then go get them by sitting and putting him/her on your lap. Talk (1-3 sentences) about why we don’t behave that way and how I expect you to behave instead. Then hugs and kisses.
If the offense is really bad, introduce consequences (which have to be immediate, they wont understand missing out on something hours from now, won’t make the connection.)
Here’s something I wish wasn’t true but is: Looks matter. This is true for anyone but 100x more so for a woman. Take care of yourself. Stay in good shape, eat well, wear sunscreen, dress well and be well-groomed. It shouldn’t matter but it does. (But try not to judge other people by their appearance- Often times the very best people (friends, spouses, job applicants, etc.) don’t look like movie stars. Far from it!) Yes, looks matter but I hope you value true beauty more.
Once a relationship goes from loving someone as they are to trying to change them into something you want them to be, it’s doomed.
We can challenge, inspire and educate those we love, but in the end we have to accept them as they are and embrace them warts and all. (They’re doing the same for us.)
Control isn’t safety. Safety is putting in the physical/mental/intellectual/emotional/spiritual work so you’re confident in your ability to address whatever comes your way and thrive, bounce back after getting knocked down.
Remind them there’s nothing they could ever do to lose your love. They’re so afraid of disappointing you. Emphasize the difference between making mistakes and being a “bad” person.