No threats, not even jokingly.


15



Give books. Inscribe them. Just a line or two can turn a good book into a treasure. Great for any occasion.


17



Watch Ken Burns’ “The US and the holocaust.”


17



Read The Invisible Boy by Trudy Ludwig.


4



I did my best to guide you, but I’m sure there are many areas where my take is just not aligned with yours. That’s okay! Bunny please don’t feel any obligation to believe what I believe or take any advice, or continue any tradition mentioned in this Coda.


21



If it costs you your peace it’s too expensive.


19



Never post a pic to social media that you wouldn't want Grandma to see. NEVER send or ask to receive naked pictures. It's tacky, gross, illegal and not worth it. Even if "everyone does it". It's rude and disrespectful.


11-13, 18



Keep going. Push yourself. The struggle makes it all the more worth it.


17, 21



No one knows what they’re doing. Just be kind and brave and curious. You don’t have to have it figured out.


17



Major life events such as the birth of a baby, graduations, new job, (lost job) are a big deal. Make a fuss. Take an interest in loved ones’ experiences. Acknowledge their feelings. Express a sincere interest in others (young and old) will profoundly affect your relationships.


15, 19



An exercise in assumption. Have them answer “Just because I _______” doesn’t mean _________”.


10



Read “Spare” by Prince Harry.


20



Birthday traditions: 1) Plant something every year. 2) Birthday interview on camera or voice recording.


5



Sex isn’t something you “score.” It’s not a competition. Whether the encounter is casual or within a committed relationship it’s something that is shared.


16, 19, 20



Curate a presentation on heartbreak. Talk about heartbreaks endured by people we know, fictional characters, historical figures, etc. Point is to normalize it, prepare them for it and teach them that they will come out the other side.


14, 20



Life is for the living. It’s okay to move on. It’s okay to laugh and dream, work, to party, to rest rest, etc. you honor the dead by living your life. Everyone meets up in the end anyway!


19, 21



Come and go in peace.


12, 15, 21



“Never let anyone tell you who you are. SHOW them who you are.” - Kamala Harris


12, 13, 17, 21



Plan a neighborhood "Winter Olympics" for snow days. Create indoor and outdoor events.


8



First date going extremely well? Thinking u might score? Slow down. A woman always wants to feel like she’s worth waiting for.


20



The "work" in "relationships take work" should be like the "work" it takes to go to the beach. “Sure, you gotta pack food, beverages, drive there, park, and set up... But you get to the beach


18, 21



Sometimes it happens that what you do [for a living] is who you are. I’m reading a great book about that called The Women by Kristin Hannah.


16, 20, 21



There are always blessings hidden within heartbreak: a friend you would never have met otherwise, an opportunity that would never have come up, an experience, an encounter, a promotion, etc. Always look for the blessings.


9, 11, 18, 21



When you’re ready to grow up, (or when you have to even though you might not be ready) … Accept your responsibilities, gifts, and challenges with an unflinching honesty, with humility and dignity. Resolve to do good and to stay true to yourself. Remember the light inside you and look for the light in others. Be kind. Have fun! Know that you’re loved… So much.


15, 18, 21



Life doesn’t have to turn out like you imagined it would in order to be AMAZING.


19



Zoom out! Perspective is your friend. At certain times in our lives we have the focus turned up so high that we don’t see beyond ourselves. (Adolescence is one of those times, totally natural.) Zoom out. You’ll feel better.


13, 15, 17, 21



It’s hard to know how to support a friend who is grieving, but it’s a priceless skill / attribute. Some people just are naturally know what to say, but for the rest of us, it can be learned. If you don’t know what to say, just stay silent but be present. Or try something like “I’m so sorry.” Be mindful not to turn away because their pain makes you uncomfortable. Send a text just “thinking of you.” Grief takes a lot of energy and focus, and there’s not much you can (or should) do to help someone process their pain. So lessen their burden by taking some of the stupid everyday life stuff off their plate: Walk the dog, make a meal, make sure there’s food, clean clothes, toilet paper, etc. Help with school or work stuff if possible. Check in often but take your queue from them. Some people want company while others want solitude. Everyone processes pain and grief differently. Don’t force your way on them. Offer to look at pictures or hear stories about the person they lost. This time is about them, so avoid any comparisons with how what they’re going through is similar to something you or someone else went through, unless it was the exact same thing: Telling someone who lost a child that you understand their pain because your grandmother died last year is not okay. People mean well but they say really stupid sh*t sometimes. (If you ever say something that may have caused pain, just acknowledge it, apologize for it, and move on from it.)There are lots of resources. Grief is so isolating. You can’t make their pain go away, but that’s okay. You’re job isn’t to ‘cheer them up’ it’s to ‘keep showing up.’ Read up on current literature, there are tons of great resources.


19



If baby / toddler is melting down, put them in the bathtub or bring them outside. A change in temperature will calm them.


Infant-4



Work on developing a “no shortcuts” mode. Looking for a faster/easier/bare-minimum option isn’t always bad. People get paid a lot of money for creating efficacy. But there are times when that approach is wrong. Anything you want to grow from (relationships, school, work, wealth, health, knowledge, etc.) those things deserve your full effort, focus and dedication. Play. Definitely play! But don’t f*ck around.


12, 14, 15, 18, 19, 21



Numbing doesn’t work. Let it hurt, let it heal, then it lets itself go.


15,21