Wipe your kids’ tears when they’re sad. Smile with them when they are happy. Hold them close when they are scared. And let them see your tears, smiles, and fears too. This is how you teach them to be a human in this world.
6
Make sure they have resources other than us. Hotlines for teens such as Boys Town National Hotline, National $@!#% Prevention Lifeline, etc.
12
The version of you that will handle whatever problem comes your way will be born into existence in the moment when it happens. Trust your future self to handle future challenges.
12, 15, 21
In the wise words of Taylor Swift, you don’t have to forgive or forget in order to move on. You can just…move on.
15, 21
Some men think if they just act like a total $@!#% then people will assume they’re uber intelligent. Just because someone is scary it doesn’t mean he’s scary smart.
15, 21
Toddler years: Tater tots make everything better. The smaller ones cook faster and you don't have to turn them.
2
There IS such a thing as coming on too strong. Err on the side of leaving them wanting more.
15, 18, 21
Every “yes” to something is a “no” to something else. Take your time processing the choices - write in your journal, sweat it out, listen to music, talk to someone you trust, read books from experts. Once you’re clear about what you’re giving up, let it go and don’t look back. (Remember there’s no advice that’s right more than 99% of the time. Always trust your gut. Just remember an impulse isn’t the same thing as a gut check.)
15, 16, 19, 21
There is so much darkness in the world - keep pushing back against it every way you can. Be a force for good.
14, 16, 21
Your life is way bigger than one relationship. Or one grade, or one job, or one choice, or one event, or one gift. Make room for all of it even when some of it will most certainly hurt.
17
Just love ‘em up. Be patient and kind. Be present. Listen. Play. Take care of their needs. Each one will be different and need you in different ways. That’s all, just fill them with love and security and they’ll grow up beautifully.
1-18
I’ve stopped worrying about you being able to make your way through life. You’re not even 8 years old and I can see you’re going to be just fine. You’re smart, kind, curious, hilarious and so very lovable. I worry about your safety, I stress about your health, but I don’t worry about your character. I’m so proud of you, and I love watching you grow.
14
Talk about how choices become habits. Habits can become addictions. Describe how pathways are literally dug into the brain and it's very hard to change them once those paths are made.
13-16
We don’t always get what we want. Sometimes we have to wait. Sometimes we go without it. Sometimes when we DO get what we wanted it looks different than how we imagined it would. AND IT’S OK. We’re ok. The world keeps turning! That’s a huge lesson and a valuable one. Practice “pushing the snooze button” on wants. Enlist their help. “I understand you want ____. Would this be something you could snooze or do without?”
5, 10, 20
Be respectful with regard to how you treat girls:. How you talk to them, how you talk about them, and even how you think about them.
11-14
Girls forget a good bit of compliments they receive but they remember every single insult. Speak gently, remind them they’re beautiful. Never qualify it.
12, 14, 17
"Discipline is helping a child solve a problem. Punishment is making a child suffer for having a problem. To raise problem solvers, focus on solutions, not retribution.”- L.R KNost
2-15