Try to avoid the temptation to reach a conclusion too quickly or cling to it too tightly.” (Paraphrasing James Comey from his book ’A Higher Loyalty,’ which I recommend as a fantastic lesson in leadership - and history, and public service.)


19



You’ll start dating soon. Have fun! Good luck. Prepare yourself for broken hearts. They come with the territory. (Worth it.) Talk about healthy ways to manage breakups and fear of breaking up.


13



Make a deal: flying lessons IF he takes dancing lessons. A man has got to know how to dance! In fact, tack on some other prerequisites like good grades and responsible behavior


16



Geocaching


5-11



Keep a pair of nail clippers in the car - much better lighting outside. Clipping tiny fingernails is terrifying!


Infant-1



“Praise in public. Discipline in private.” This is good advice for when you’re a parent and for when you’re a boss.


20



Some men think if they just act like a total $@!#% then people will assume they’re uber intelligent. Just because someone is scary it doesn’t mean he’s scary smart.


15, 21



“I need help. But I don’t know what I need help with. Could you ask me a few questions and help me figure it out?” Keep this one in your back pocket.


5, 7, 11, 13, 16, 19, 21



When you’re trying to make a positive change and you get sidetracked- don’t fret. Get right back to it as soon as possible. If you backslide into a bad habit, or blow your diet, etc. start back eating right with your next meal (not the next year/ month/week or even next day.) It’s not the falling off the wagon that hurts your progress, it’s the STAYING off the wagon. Everyone flubs-up sometimes. Don’t quit striving toward your goal because you slipped up. Get right back to it!!


14, 17, 21



Slow down and normalize making out without it leading to anything more. Physical intimacy can mean lots of things that aren’t sex: kissing should feel safe, personal and playful. ALWAYS be respectful and never assume that just because your sweetie is into it that they want to go farther. If your goal is to “score” do it by yourself.


15, 21



Change is scary. But scary doesn’t equal bad. I don’t know what it’s going to look like but I know you will figure it out. You’re going to be okay no matter what curveballs you’re faced with. Stay calm. Be kind and respectful to everyone and every thing, including (especially) yourself. xoxo


5, 10, 15, 20, 21



There’s one thing I’ve noticed that makes the difference between an adult and someone who is over 18: That person’s proclivity for reading. Books make you smarter, yes but they also make you kinder, funnier, more empathetic and more tolerant of opposing viewpoints. Travel has a similar effect but is a lot more expensive! If you want to be a genuine grownup, read (or listen to) everything you can get your hands on.


10, 14, 16, 20



Default to "nice guy." Meaning it should require something significant for you NOT to be nice. Give people the benefit of the doubt. Cut them (and yourself) some slack. Life is hard. We're all in this together.


12



Avoid commenting on the number of children someone has (or doesn’t have.) Its none of your business to ask why a couple doesn’t have kids or remark if they announce they’re pregnant with their 7th (other than to say “Congratulations.”)


15, 21



When disciplining remember: First acknowledge the emotion, then address the behavior.


2-4, 13, 15



1

Plan a few screen-free weekends every year. (Reticket until 16.)


7



Sometimes I think the best way to take care of them is to teach them to take care of others: Littler kids, sick or disabled, those who’ve been left out.


5-7, 1Infant-12



“The beginning parts are always the scariest.” -Jackson Daily (kid reporter on Today Show.)


10, 12, 16



It's a skill to learn how to love people the way they need to be loved. I highly recommend reading the Five Love Languages.


18, 21



Human creativity is nature manifest in us.


15, 21



Your body and brain are always trying to protect you.


17



“When happy, be kind. When sad, be kind. When ever…be kind.” - Cory Booker


9, 12, 15, 19, 21



Best song for a good cry: “And so It Goes” by Billy Joel.


15, 21



Re-Read "Girls and Sex: Navigating the New Landscape" by Peggy Orenstein.


13



Just because I forgive you, it doesn’t mean I trust you. Trust has to be earned.


15, 18, 21



Go out of your way to part on good terms whenever possible, in all circumstances.


18



Girls: does he put in the effort even when it’s inconvenient or uncomfortable for him?


16, 20, 21



We all have dark thoughts and moods every once in a while. That’s part of being human. But any sustained ideation or inclination to hurt yourself or someone else is a red flag and needs mental health intervention.


12, 14, 17, 21



Opioids are highly addictive. If possible, stay away from them entirely and definitely not for more than 2-3 days. Manage pain with NSAIDS or Tylenol.


16, 18, 21



Learn how to sail together


12-15