“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.” - Maya Angelou


12, 15, 21



Thomas Jefferson’s Ten Rules of Conduct. This makes a good exercise for penmanship or for writing “lines” as instructional punishment.


11



Your mother and I would never want you to sacrifice the wellbeing of your own family for us. They should always be your priority. In the years ahead, make the choices that affirm that.


21



Sometimes it feels really good to say “no.” (Or “no thank you.” Or “$@!#% no!”)


14, 20



Focus on the lesson not the pain.


14, 21



Read or listen to The Mountain is You by Brianna Wiest.


17, 21



Sometimes you have to put aside how you feel about a person and objectively look at how their actions show how they feel about *you.*


16



Girls forget a good bit of compliments they receive but they remember every single insult. Speak gently, remind them they’re beautiful. Never qualify it.


12, 14, 17



SAT Prep https://www.nytimes.com/2017/04/10/opinion/how-i-learned-to-take-the-sat-like-a-rich-kid.html


16



Ask “Is there anything you want to get off your chest?” Confession is good for the soul! Get in the habit of being a place of support when they screw up. Then when they’re older and REALLY screw up, they know they can trust you to help.


8



“The beginning parts are always the scariest.” -Jackson Daily (kid reporter on Today Show.)


10, 12, 16



Recruit the kids to help with cleaning the house. All hands on deck "round-ups" are fun and efficient: Round up sippy cups, trash, dirty laundry, give-aways, etc. Time them for maximum enthusiasm: "60 second trash round up...Go!" See who can collect the most trash in 60 seconds.


4



Do the work. No short-cuts.


14



“But what is grief if not love preserving?” - Unknown


18



Con-men (or women) appear perfect. They are good-looking, kind, flattering, etc. Most people are good. But be careful of those who seem to be too good.


15



Remember that your tend to act like/ think like the people you hang around most. Choose your friends (and your spouse) wisely.


10, 14, 21



Stupid is as stupid does - it’s not something you “are” it’s something you do.


4, 7, 9, 11, 13, 16, 19, 21



A man is not a financial plan.


17



“You’ll never be alone when you carry a poet in your pocket.” - John Adams Bring a book with you wherever you go.


12, 19



People always say “Be yourself.” That’s good advice but really what does it mean? I think it’s easier to explain what it DOESN’T mean: When you’re being yourself you’re not pretending to be interested in something or someone you’re not. You’re not doing something just to please someone else (or just to tick them off.) You’re not wearing anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. You’re not pretending to have fun when you’re not having fun. You’re not trying to impress anyone. You’re not trying to fade into the background. You’re not trying to change anything about yourself or someone else. I think that’s a good start. What does “being yourself” mean to you?


11-14, 18, 21



Start a yearly “review” right before school year. Raise allowance as appropriate. If they want more money, they’ll have to take on more responsibilities.


8



Alcohol is a depressant. Never drink to feel better. It will only make things hurt worse and be worse. Only drink in celebration or community. Never to numb. That sh*t is poison. Pure $@!#% juice.


18, 19, 21



Marriage vows won’t “fix” anything about a relationship. They won’t change how a person communicates. Never start out a relationship with the hope or expectation that your partner will change (or if they are hoping you will change.)It’s not fair to either of you. Everyone deserves to be loved for who they are, not who they could be.


21



Never open someone else's mail, or listen to their conversation, etc. If it's not your business to know, don't snoop.


14-21



Watch Ken Burns’ “The US and the holocaust.”


17



No matter how late you are, don’t speed or drive unsafely. It’s not worth someone’s life or limbs.


18-18, 21



"Watch the pennies and the dollars will take care of themselves." - Ben Franklin This works with money and with other areas: Be faithful in the little things and the bigger things will take care of themselves. For example, if you don't get comfortable with telling little lies then you'll never tell big lies.


9, 13, 19



When it comes to conflict- what is your part in things?


15, 21



Live a life of dignity and joy.


14, 21



Ask them to name 2 current or historical figures that they admire and why (one man one woman).


6-18