College: you’re gonna do great! You’re also probably gonna want to quit at some point during your first year. Totally normal. If you decide college isn’t for you or now isn’t the right time, okay. But give it a year if you can. You’ll thank yourself later.


17



Just do the next right thing. One step at a time, you’ll get there.


13, 18, 21



You gotta play with them. Down on the floor, at the park, in the water, in the snow. Connect through play, it will be the foundation of your relationship.


1-4



It’s hard to want something and not have it. Kids have to learn how to sit with that.


3-17



If someone doesn’t want your attention or warrant your attention, don’t give it.


15



Live a life of dignity and joy.


14, 21



“Be brave. Be resilient. Be kind. Be grateful.” -Hillary Rodham Clinton


12



“Pick a problem - any problem,and do something about it. Because to somebody who is hurting, ‘something’ is everything.” -Oprah Winfrey


12-16



Look for answers where truth, laughter, kindness, beauty, compassion and love are found. (Not in outward appearances or illusions of perfection. Not in cynicism, apathy or destructiveness.)


10, 13, 16, 19, 21



Create tech-free zones and times.


10, 11, 12, 13, 19, 21



To paraphrase Ted Lasso, it’s the people who think they’ve got it all figured out who delight in judging people and events. It’s better to be open minded, ask questions. Be curious, not judgmental.


15, 21



Compassion: Acting with love when faced with another’s suffering.


16



Watch film “Radio” (2003) and talk about being brave. Teach them that doing what’s right takes courage.


8



Help them develop a positive attitude. http://www.momentsaday.com/10-activities-help-young-children-develop-a-positive-attitude/


5



At the start of a day / project / interview / date / etc. Do this one simple thing: State your intention. How do you want to carry yourself? What is the goal for the outcome? Just take a moment to imagine how you want to behave, react, appear, etc. What impression do you want to leave with the people you interact with? Of those things that are in your control, what outcome would make you proud?


15, 20



Be appreciative of people’s time. Send thank you notes after interviewing and applying for jobs, scholarships, etc. even if you don’t get picked. It’s common courtesy and it’s a good way to make a good impression for next time.


18, 20



Ask smart questions. More importantly, ask stupid questions! So many people are afraid of looking stupid that they totally fake understanding. Even in the very highest levels of career and society. Ask basic questions if something doesn’t make sense. Start at a kindergarten level understanding of a concept then build on it.


15, 20



On September 11th I was at work in Fairfax VA. News reports were saying a plane was headed to the Capitol, that the Whitehouse had been hit. In the immediate aftermath of a big event, news reports will be unreliable. Wait until the facts are in. Several of the nurses had husbands who worked at the Pentagon. One of the doctors was married to a U.S. Senator in her office on the Hill. It was surreal, but no one panicked. I remember we all burst into tears when my friend’s husband called saying he was safe. So relieved.


15, 17



“Things are not perfect, because life is not TV and we are real people with scarred, worried hearts. But it’s amazing a lot of the time.” - Anne Lamott


14



"The idea that some lives matter less is the root of all that is wrong with the world." - Paul Farmer


15, 21



A hard day’s work is something to be proud of, not afraid of.


8, 12, 15, 20



Just fill ‘em with love. Every other parenting mistake or deficit can be fixed, but if a child grows up thinking it’s not loved and doesn’t have a place in this world, that is a recipe for permanent and painful damage. Not necessarily “spoil” them, but cut them slack as often as possible. Just love ‘em up.


Infant-21



Behind every behavior is a need.


2, 3, 4, 13, 14



“Vulnerability is not about winning or losing, it’s about showing up and being seen.” -Brene Brown Be vulnerable, that’s where the good stuff lies.


18



Self-care is active not passive. (Zoning-out on the couch or sleeping all day isn’t self-care.)


13, 15



Read A Mother’s Reckoning by Sue Klebold (mother of Columbine shooter.)


12



Teach him what to do and how to act if he gets pulled over.


16



Take heart. There are lots of terrible things in the world - Poverty, disease, injustice, natural disasters...Thankfully, good FAR outweighs the bad: Love, Faith, Art, friendship, healing, creativity, community, innovation, beauty and renewal to name just a few. Focus on the good. Relish in the countless expressions of goodness. Work hard to preserve, protect, and advance them.


18



You can’t selectively numb feelings. The inclination to drink, use, shop, gamble, etc. is real but it’s a lie that it will make you feel better. Numbing makes this much, much worse. So feel! The good, the bad, the scary. Talk about your feelings, write about them or create something from your feelings. This is how to process in a healthy way.


16, 20