“The only way out is to love yourself. That’s it. That’s all.” - Valerie Bertinelli


10, 13, 17, 21



Some books you loved when you were a toddler: Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day, Horton Hatches an Egg, Room on the Broom, Gruffalo.


2-4



It’s okay to take a beat, a pause before you answer: “Hold on, let me think about how this is going to work...” I’ve seen a lot of mistakes or loss of confidence in an employee because they just blurted out a guess or starting off in the wrong direction only to have to go back- just because the plan hadn’t been thought through. It only takes a minute.


15, 18, 20



To avoid miscommunication and misplaced expectations, tell your partner what you need from them. But if what you need is for them to be a different person, that’s not fair to them or to you. Let them go and set about finding the right person.


18, 20



“Never allow anyone to be humiliated in your presence.” - Eliezer "Elie" Wiesel


12, 14, 17, 21



My ballet teacher used to punish us by making us sit on the floor and hold our arms up. It hurts! But you learn how to sit with pain. You learn how to endure and how to use your mind to make your muscles really don’t want to do.


14, 20



Pretty much everything boils down to looking for love, its many forms. Look in good (creative) places. Avoid looking for love in bad (destructive) places.


15, 17, 19, 21



You will never be good enough for the wrong person. This truth is profound and one I wish I learned a lot earlier in my life. Stop tripping over yourself to please someone who doesn’t get you.


21



Begin again. Whether by choice or necessity, sometimes there’s no other option.


15, 21



Let’s look for examples of bravery.


8



“If you want to be holy, be kind”. -Frederick Buechner


14, 19, 21



Let people do what they want to do so you can see what they’d rather do.


16



Being accountable means saying that I was responsible for making sure this did not happen - but it did happen. I accept the blame and an prepared to incur the consequences. I will work earnestly to earn back your trust and confidence. The opposite of accountability is to make excuses or blame someone else for your mistake.


10, 18



“It’s not as important how a message is received compared to how it is sent.” Sometimes you have to have uncomfortable conversations but the can always be kind and loving. Sometimes your message won’t land well, but if you expressed yourself truthfully and kindly, that’s not your burden to bear.


16



Listen to albums. Two of my favorites came out the very same month: Cowboy Carter by Beyoncé and The Tortured Poets Department by Taylor Swift.


12



It's a skill to learn how to love people the way they need to be loved. I highly recommend reading the Five Love Languages.


18, 21



“You have to meet people where they are. Sometimes, you have to leave them there.” -Iyanla Vanzant


21



Practice these skills: Love yourself Respect yourself Value yourself Enjoy yourself


4, 6, 8, 12, 15, 17, 21



What’s the Mark Twain quote about it’s not what you don’t know that gets you into trouble it’s what you know for sure that just ain’t true.


13, 21



Life isn’t a straight line, it’s so much more complex than that! Good things, bad things, boring or interesting things are all always happening. And always changing. So are you. And that’s good.


17, 21



Show them a picture of a riptide and explain about swimming parallel to the shore instead of fighting it. Google Outer Banks NC green fluorescent dye in riptide.


9-15



Turn on the closed captions on tv. Reading them is almost unconscious. Even better, set the audio to a language other than English and turn on English captions.


4-9



Learn how to quiet your demons / that voice that tells you you’re not good enough. Great resource is Dan Harris’ 2022 TED talk.


14, 19, 21



Cut people some slack, everyone is entitled to a bad day.


17-20



We can disagree with people and still be respectful of them. (When what they espouse is something that hurts people, that’s where you can draw the line.)


16



Know the difference between an inconvenience and a tragedy. Hint: If it can be fixed with money or effort, it’s probably not a tragedy.


15, 20



“1883” Season 1 episode 6 has one of my favorite scenes about grief. “When you love someone you trade souls with them. Part of them lives in you and part of you lives with them. When they die, part of you dies with them. But a part of them lives in you.” Beautiful thought.


17, 21



Sit down together and write house rules on anger. We don’t hit or bite. Do we yell and slam doors? Name-call? Say “I don’t love you” ? Bad words? What’s appropriate anger and what’s unacceptable?


4-6



“Don’t chase your dreams


14, 17, 20, 21