Talk to people like they belong and are valued exactly as they are in that moment.


12-14, 21



Avoid bird seed or pet food near your home. It attracts mice, rats, ticks, etc. keep bird feeders that use seed a good distance from the house. Try liquid feeders near windows. Or use a feed tray or hulled seeds (little waste.)


20



People are insecure. Be mindful of fragile egos (we all have them to a degree.) Avoid implying that people aren't doing a good job.


20



Struggle is just part of the process. It doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong or you’re dumb. It’s a key element of how we all learn.


11



“If the pain was deep you will have to let it go many times.” Yung Pueblo from book Lighter


15, 18, 21



Mallomars in Christmas stockings. Mom NEVER buys Mallomars. But Santa does. (Reticket x 15 years.)


4



Explore the magic of Deer Valley YMCA Camp


07-13



Sad but important fact: You’ll never be enough for some people. Never. -Chasten Buttigieg


18



Let’s look for examples of bravery.


8



“Forget about sex. Just play first.” Forget about making a move and just have fun. Dance, listen to music together, go somewhere exciting, look at something beautiful, read to each other, play sports, let yourself be seen and encourage them to do the same. Communicate in a hundred ways: talk/send texts/ post on social media, pass notes, whatever. Sex isn’t the door to intimacy, feeling safe to be yourself around your partner is.


15-20



Anger is the bodyguard of sadness.


12-15, 21



Watch film “Radio” (2003) and talk about being brave. Teach them that doing what’s right takes courage.


8



We struggle so much when we don’t know ourselves. Are you a thinker (creative, big picture) or a doer (meticulous, task-oriented.) Both are great by the way.


16, 21



Home is where they love you.


13, 17, 21



Kitchen Commandment: She who cooks the dinner shall not clean up from dinner. I don't want to raise any of you to take housework for granted. It's hard. It's unfair and not cool to expect anyone (parent, spouse, roommate, etc. )to wait on you.


7-18



Adopting a “do it right now” mentality has done wonders for my self-discipline. Something on the floor? Grab it right now. Thinking about cooking later? Cook right now. Laundry finished? Put them up right now. Home from a trip? Unpack right then. It’s the small things.


8, 9, 12, 17



I love that you got chills from watching Wicked. You were 10 and already affected emotionally and physically by music. Bonus points for listening to and acknowledging how your body talks to you.


13, 19, 21



Build a backyard adventure camp


8



Do not be daunted at the world’s grief. Do justly now. Love Mercy now. Walk humbly now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it. -The Talmud


15



If they’re not doing anything dangerous, illegal or immoral, let them be. Give them space and independence. (Just first define dangerous/ illegal/ immoral. Then remind them that you are here and would love to hear about anything they want to share.)


14



Make “good trouble” as Rep. John Lewis said. Justice is won, not given.


14, 19



Soap and water go a long way towards fixing many problems.


12, 19



“People are in your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. Pain comes when we try to put them in the wrong category.” - random therapist I never met.


16



No bragging. Don’t toot your own horn.


11, 15, 21



What does it mean to grow up? Sacrifice- When you put someone else’s needs before your own. Responsibility- When you can be counted on to do what’s right and also to do what has to be done. Trustworthiness- You keep your word.Sincerity - You are true to yourself and don’t pretend in order to fit in. It’s about choices and actions and deciding what you value and then building a life around those values.


18



Lookout for the girls when you’re in a group. Some boys will try to take advantage or straight up r@pe them. Your responsibility goes beyond avoiding harming anyone. Your male privilege is a perk…earn it. Protect girls from sketchy dudes. No big deal, just help when you can and then move along. Don’t expect a cookie.


14,15, 16, 17, 21



Watch the local news together.


12



Start saving for retirement with your very first paycheck. Put away the MAX, you’ll never miss it. If the company doesn’t offer 401k then we’ll open a Roth IRA.


18



End of August by Robert Frost is one of my favorite poems.


20



Remember to $@!#% the switch when you’re stuck: If you’re all up in your head, sad or anxious, do something physical. If you’re down with a physical problem, dive into your mind for diversion and healing.


11,14, 17, 21