It’s hard to accept that the world can be so cruel and unfair, but sometimes accepting it and focusing on what part of it you CAN change is - I’ve learned - the key.
15
Puberty is like putting a 12 year old in the pilot seat of a fighter jet. A total sh*t show at first, then better but still erratic and dramatic until they really get a feel for the speed and the pressure, the gauges, etc. They’ll learn when to question or to trust their instincts. Tell him that he’ll fly this jet for the rest of his life and it will always be dangerous because it’s an effing jet, but he will learn how to fly it expertly. He’ll do good, have fun, accomplish missions and refuel.
12
Name a few male celebrities you would feel safe with alone in a room. Keanu Reeves, Jack Black, Barack Obama, to start us off.
11, 13, 15
The Buddhists say “life is suffering.” I think struggle might be a better word. Struggle is unavoidable, and it would do us good to stop expecting otherwise. And yes, everybody experiences pain and loss, etc. but I don’t believe we should expect our lives to be full of suffering.
17, 21
Grandpa always said everything boils down to how you treat people. Always treating people with kindness and respect is the most important lesson he wanted to get across to us.
12-21
Don’t offer them advice until you ask questions: What does a good outcome here look like for you? How much energy are you willing to put into this? Do you feel like you’re being asked to sacrifice a part of who you are if you do this? Is the fear you’re feeling maybe just that initial reaction we all get when something is new and unfamiliar? Stuff like that. Mostly they just need help understanding themselves and encouragement to stay true to themselves.
4, 7, 12, 15, 18, 21
Dating advice: If they like you, you’re gonna know. If they don’t, you’re gonna be confused.”
16, 21
That little space between stimulus and response...that’s all the control we get. That space is ours to do with. That space is fertile ground for addiction, for faith, for peace or pain. When the sh*t hits the fan, resist the urge to run away from the pain. Trying to dull it will only make it grow deeper roots.
19
Have a yearly “review” right before school year. Raise allowance as appropriate. If they want more money, they’ll have to take on more responsibilities.
7-17
Ask “Is there anything you want to get off your chest?” Confession is good for the soul! Get in the habit of being a place of support when they screw up. Then when they’re older and REALLY screw up, they know they can trust you to help.
8
It’s best not to cuss but writing bad words is even worse than speaking them. Even in casual texting, etc. Always an asterisk in place of a vowel to avoid being rude.
16
Always keep a clean rag within arm’s reach in the car. You never know when you might need to clean-up a spill or smash a spider while driving 50mph.
16
There’s an art to speaking harsh truths in a delicate way. There’s an art in describing a ridiculous person or thing without being insulting. Mark Twain was a master at it. Read up!
17, 21
Work the problem backwards. Start with the solution (desired outcome) and count down from there each step. Some steps will be small, some big. But you’ll get there!
13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18
Don't let the laundry pile up. This lessons extends to pretty much every chore: Stay ahead of it and you won't get crushed by it.
17
Never enter into (or stay in) a relationship with someone based on their “potential.” It’s a recipe for misery, resentment and frustration.
19
I read this quote in a blog when my oldest was little: "You will never be more needed or more loved than you are right now. You will long for the days when your kids were little." So true. These years are exhausting, but hang in there. You are their sun and moon.
2
Promise me you’ll never intentionally hurt anyone (including yourself.) There’s no need to suffer in silence, I will help you or get you to someone who can help you no matter what, no matter when, no matter why.
13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18
Being accountable means saying that I was responsible for making sure this did not happen - but it did happen. I accept the blame and an prepared to incur the consequences. I will work earnestly to earn back your trust and confidence. The opposite of accountability is to make excuses or blame someone else for your mistake.
10, 18