Look for glimmers. The opposite of triggers. Feels of elation, belonging, peaceful contentment. I just watched you glimmer as you delighted in your first Crunchbox. “I made this!!!”


12, 15, 19, 21



Tube first 2 or 3 years of your life I would sing to you after bath time as I was getting you in your jammies. Two songs: Oh Shenandoah and Danny Boy. Rubbing your tiny little feet with baby lotion while singing to you is one of the happiest memories of my life.


21



Resist the urge to blurt out and over share when you’re feeling pressured to say something. Have a few “go to” phrases in your back pocket. “I’m at a lack of words” or “vibe check” or “let’s take a beat.” Come up with your own. Calm, kind, respectful. xoxo


11, 12, 14, 17, 21



When you feel like giving up, rest. But then keep going! So many good things ahead. So many people that are meant to be in your life who you haven’t met yet.


18



Build a backyard adventure camp


8



It’s very difficult to pull off sarcasm in written form. It does not translate.


15



Grandpa was a Marine, though you’d never know it. Slight in build and oh-so gentle natured. But underneath he had a good bit of grit. He never complained. He once told me “You can stand any amount of pain for a little while.” (Basically saying suck it up and hang in there until help arrives.) I’ve never forgotten it.


18



You can love someone and still not tolerate their abuse. Protect your peace and safety.


17, 21



Sometimes we outgrow relationships. It’s no one’s fault. It’s okay to move on. You’ve grown…Don’t abandon your healthier self for a relationship.


14, 16,



In the wise words of Taylor Swift, you don’t have to forgive or forget in order to move on. You can just…move on.


15, 21



Toddler not interested in food? Hand them a random kitchen gadget to play with while you’re feeding them dinner, they’ll eat more if distracted.


1,2



When something is upsetting you...Name it...Take a deep breath...Imagine holding it gently in your hands. (This is a reminder to use this visualization myself and to teach it to you. I want to give you as many tools as I can to help you learn to cope with negative emotions in a healthy way.)


11



1

Read A Mother’s Reckoning by Sue Klebold (mother of Columbine shooter.)


12



Sometimes hookups don’t go well. The vibe is off for whatever reason. Stop. It’s okay to say “actually, let’s just call it a night.” Trust your gut. Be kind but never apologize for saying no-thanks.


15, 20



“You don’t get what you deserve. You get what you negotiate.” - name escapes me


15, 19, 21



Focus on being interesting (and genuinely interested) rather than focusing on being popular.


11, 13, 17, 21



Beware of people that try and rial you up. Who benefits from what they’re saying? Are they trying to sell you something? Are they trying to scare you or appealing to other base emotions or prejudice? Are they qualified on the subject, or do they just have an opinion? Plenty of good, smart people get radicalized


13, 17, 21



Begin again. Whether by choice or necessity, sometimes there’s no other option.


15, 21



When things get scary, look for the helpers. This is true in physical crises and existential ones. SCOTUS just passed down a few truly horrifying rulings, including reversing Roe v Wade. I’m disheartened in all that’s going on, but was reminded to look for the helpers, the activists, etc. Look for them…and join them.


10, 15, 21



Theme: Dignity


11



Whether they’re young or old, try not to under-estimate people. Most people will impress the heck out of you.


15



Marriage tip: King sized blanket on Queen size bed.


21



A wise friend once told me "Don't dump grace down the drain." Respond to nudges: Speak up even if you're afraid, reach out to someone who's hurting, forgive someone (or yourself.) God is so good and so generous...accept his gifts.


15



Healing happens when you give up the hope that the past could have been any different. xoxo


20



People who have something to prove are dangerous to themselves and others. We are all worthy of love. Remember that.


11, 13, 17, 19, 21



Summer concerts at Wolftrap- get good seats so they can really get a sense of the experience.


13-16



Make sure you always have Uber gift cards on hand for friends, emergencies or whatever.


15-18



Kitchen Commandment: She who cooks the dinner shall not clean up from dinner. I don't want to raise any of you to take housework for granted. It's hard. It's unfair and not cool to expect anyone (parent, spouse, roommate, etc. )to wait on you.


7-18