“What do you think about keeping things PG-rated for a while? We’re both just figuring stuff out. The last thing I’d want to do is hurt you.” Or whatever spin you want to put on the idea that there’s no rush, and plenty of amazing sensations to experience and explore, long before things go further than kissing. Hang out in that PG range as long as possible. And if you can’t talk with your partner about that then you probably shouldn’t be having sex anyway.


13, 14, 15, 16, 17



One of the best things you can do for yourself is to cultivate a hobby. Anything positive/creative you can throw yourself into.


11, 13, 17, 21



Always stand up to shake someone’s hand. (NEVER shake a person’s hand while sitting.) Always get up out of your seat to greet a guest and walk them to the door when they leave.


13



Learn to tie knots.


10



One regret I have is how sure I was that I was in the right. Looking back I can see now that there were plenty of times when I was the a-hole. I wish I had been able to be circumspect.


14, 17, 21



Educate yourself. You can't solve a problem if you don't understand it.


14-21



Set up a 529 plan. Virginia has a great plan if you don't want to do too much research https://www.savingforcollege.com/


birth-age 3



Best song for a good cry: “And so It Goes” by Billy Joel.


15, 21



Intimacy is a feeling of safety. To let yourself be seen, touched, known, without defenses.


17, 21



Your very existence is a miracle. Countless cosmic events and generations of ancestors had to come together in precisely the right way at precisely the right time for you to be here now. It’s an honor to be who you are. Act accordingly.


13, 15, 18, 20, 21



The secret to getting sinks and surfaces to shine is to dry-buff them after you clean them. Keep a soft clean rag or washcloth around so you can dry fixtures and sinks and counter tops. (They should be cleaning their own bathrooms by this age.)


11



Ask them to think of foods that taste good and also foods that make them feel good. Involve them in lunchbox decisions, dinner planning and prep, etc. so they’re empowered by their food habits.


6-9



Not all babies are born healthy. There’s grief over that, a painful letting go of hopes and expectations, but eventually parents begin to dream different dreams for their baby. You have it within you to love deeply


21



You always have a choice. Always.


15, 19, 21



Plan trip to Bush Gardens late September


5



Kitchen knife skills. Know how to properly and safely cut, slice, chop, dice, carve, etc.


15, 21



It’s your civic duty to vote (including midterms!) Be an informed voter.


16, 18



When you begin dating it’s all butterflies and moonbeams. Eventually you’re going to do or say something that hurts the other person and vice versa. For that matter, eventually you’ll disagree about something. It’s VERY important to consider how they handle it. Nobody is perfect, it may not be pretty but it had better be civil. If not, don’t think for a second that they will change. Get outta there.


15, 21



Be willing to say “I don’t know” if you don’t know! Don’t just make stuff up.


15, 20



Find what you love Do what you love Be what you love Live what you love Love what you love and never look back ... Except to love.


19



We feel best when we create. No amount of food, video games or any self-destructive habits will fill that hole. So why fight it?!? Create something, even if it’s as small as a little sketch or poem. Grow a garden, bake a cake. Start a business! Whatever your beautiful heart desires.


12, 15, 18, 21



Watch Ken Burns’ “The US and the holocaust.”


17



Don’t let someone have to tell you twice that they don’t want you. Nothing good comes from hanging on after that.


15, 21



There IS such a thing as coming on too strong. Err on the side of leaving them wanting more.


15, 18, 21



We’re born full of love. Life is about choosing where you want to put it. -xo


15, 19, 21



Respect people’s boundaries / quirks. Someone who “doesn’t fly” may have fear of enclosed spaces due to anxiety or past trauma. Someone who doesn’t drink may have had a parent who was an abusive alcoholic. Don’t laugh, question or prod. If they want to talk about it, fine. Otherwise just accept their boundaries.


15, 21



Train for a mini-triathlon together as a family this year.


12



Career is so important to your life satisfaction. Do what makes you happy. If you’re really at a loss for what you want to do for work, then go where you’re needed.


18, 21



You were THREE years old when you caught sight of a half-dressed beautiful woman. You didn’t have much of a vocabulary yet but when your eyes got wide and you said “BAM BAM” I knew exactly what you meant. (Woman was Jessica Biel in an Adam Sandler movie.)


14, 21



People always say “Be yourself.” That’s good advice but really what does it mean? I think it’s easier to explain what it DOESN’T mean: When you’re being yourself you’re not pretending to be interested in something or someone you’re not. You’re not doing something just to please someone else (or just to tick them off.) You’re not wearing anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. You’re not pretending to have fun when you’re not having fun. You’re not trying to impress anyone. You’re not trying to fade into the background. You’re not trying to change anything about yourself or someone else. I think that’s a good start. What does “being yourself” mean to you?


11-14, 18, 21