In social situations it's better to talk too little than too much. Don't over-share with people you're not close to.


15



1

Crushes are fine but I beg you not to waste your time and energy obsessing about someone. Really it’s just a way to hide, to feel something without risking anything. F that. Turn your attention to something creative, constructive or productive. Make art, train for a race, volunteer or get a second job. Discover WHAT you love. Pursue that and your people will be there.


15, 17, 20, 21



Never make a decision from a place of hopelessness.


14, 16, 21



Theme this year: Self Control (Repeat every year until age 99)


6



Teach your pets they can trust you. Take care of them. Treat them with tenderness. Teach them how to behave. (Unless it's a cat. You can't teach cats anything.)


15



Don’t waste your time with anyone who doesn’t love you for exactly who you are. Move on, because there is someone out there who will!


17



Misquoting someone here: “It’s not about getting everything you want, it’s about giving everything you have.” Stuff will never satisfy. Pouring yourself into something heart and soul will.


16, 21



“You don’t get what you deserve. You get what you negotiate.” - name escapes me


15, 19, 21



Consensual sex requires no persuasion, convincing or begging.


14, 17



“For better or worse means no matter what life throws at us, not no matter what you do to me.” - Brenda Linn


19, 21



One of the funny/sensitive things about puberty is that kids can be the same age chronologically while being wildly varied in terms of development. Kid might be 6 feet tall in seventh grade or be a senior in high school and still not shaving. Everyone is self conscious, praying to avoid embarrassment. It’s all just part of growing up. Be kind to yourself and to your equally mortified peers.


11, 12, 13



Be thankful for opportunities to be of service. It means God is trusting you to help.


8-14



Spend time with people you admire. Real-life acquaintances, biographies and documentaries, and fictional characters in novels, plays and movies.


13, 15, 18, 21



NEVER sit while someone near you is working.


14-21



Professor Scott Galloway’s advice: Paraphrasing his standard wedding toast: “1. Express affection and desire. Everyone wants to be wanted. It’s healthy and it is part of what makes your relationship singular. 2. Never let your wife / girlfriend be hungry or cold. Two thirds of the really awful arguments you’ll have it’s because someone is hungry or cold. Carry blankets and protein bars. (You’re welcome.) 3. Don’t keep score. Decide what kind of friend / son / daughter / spouse / employee / human being you want to be, and practice being that. Put the scorecard away.”


21



Consent is more than the literal


13, 14, 15, 16, 21



“Anger is a wonderful catalyst but a terrible companion.” - Brene Brown


15, 21



Quoting Glennon Doyle: “Things can feel hard and sad and still be exactly right, all at the same time.” She’s referring to her divorce but the sentiment applies to all kinds of tough choices that we all make. Very few choices feel 100% right.


17



Begin colon cancer screening at 40. We have a family history on both sides.


21



Look into YMCA “family camp” in PA.


7



Yes, you’re beautiful. But that’s not ALL you are. And it isn’t all that’s expected of you. Surely you could “get by” on your looks. Is that what you want for yourself?


10, 15



I want to talk about when NOT to join in. Friends are great and feeling like we belong feels so good. But there are times I hope you muster the courage not to go along: Never cause anyone or anything pain in order to be liked. Don't confuse cruelty for humor. Never participate in things that may cause harm to yourself or others. Can you think of some things you want to make sure you don't go along with?


11



Marry your hero.


21



Great career advice from tv producer Tara Schuster: Be the best at the worst job. You’re a lowly intern, you’re not gonna get asked to sit down with the boss and strategize. But say the boss likes coffee, and the office coffee machine is unreliable. Fix the machine. Keep it in tip-top condition. Make a contribution to the company in small ways, consistent with your level of ability (which at this age is low low low. NO ONE likes a 20-something who thinks he/ she knows it all. Or knows anything really.) Listen, learn, anticipate needs and surpass expectations doing the little things. Be polite, kind, ethical. Be on time (early.) Yes, compete but also help others look good and succeed. NEVER never trash-talk a colleague, client, boss or subordinate. Don’t suck-up either. Mostly just listen, work, make yourself useful wherever you can. And have fun. You’re gonna do great, bunny.


18, 20



Getting dumped from a bad relationship or fired from a job that’s killing you is kind of like pooping your pants: Horrifying...but also a little bit of relief. Keep your perspective and you’ll be fine. xoxo.


20



Be generous in all things. That is my hope for you.


14, 18, 21



Ask him to memorize and recite William Ernest Henley poem “Invictus” as a Christmas present for me.


15



You can forgive someone without speaking to them. Or you can move on without forgiving. Closure isn’t necessary to moving on. The only thing necessary is to move. Move your body, change your perspective, go on a trip, go to a new coffee shop, just move.


16, 19, 21



“Abhor what is evil. Hold fast to what is good.”


10, 12, 14, 16, 18, 21



Watch the western “1883”.


13