Change is scary. But scary doesn’t equal bad. I don’t know what it’s going to look like but I know you will figure it out. You’re going to be okay no matter what curveballs you’re faced with. Stay calm. Be kind and respectful to everyone and every thing, including (especially) yourself. xoxo


5, 10, 15, 20, 21



I stopped worrying about you by the time you were seven. (I’m not talking about your safety and health, that I’ll always worry about!) But I knew you were a joyful, generous, kind, smart and well-mannered person. You were a great friend, supportive and fun. You would be a good partner, and would contribute so much good to society. I could see you had a curious mind, an active imagination and more than a healthy dose of courage.


15, 21



Check out the Jesuit Volunteer Corp. A short but deeply meaningful immersion into service, faith in action, selflessness and living on a lot less than you think you need.


19



Never open someone else's mail, or listen to their conversation, etc. If it's not your business to know, don't snoop.


14-21



When someone hurts us or REALLY pisses us off... We have to pray for them. It’s hard to stay mad at someone you’re praying for.


8-18



No bragging. Don’t toot your own horn.


11, 15, 21



Dating advice: If they like you, you’re gonna know. If they don’t, you’re gonna be confused.”


16, 21



“Forget about sex. Just play first.” Forget about making a move and just have fun. Dance, listen to music together, go somewhere exciting, look at something beautiful, read to each other, play sports, let yourself be seen and encourage them to do the same. Communicate in a hundred ways: talk/send texts/ post on social media, pass notes, whatever. Sex isn’t the door to intimacy, feeling safe to be yourself around your partner is.


15-20



Talk about what’s normal and what’s abnormal reactions to alcohol and drugs. Basically all kinds of feels from euphoria to paranoia to jealousy or infatuation, etc. Getting sick is normal but blacking out is not. *Anything that could interfere with breath or circulation is dangerous.


13, 15, 17



You don’t have to keep it together. Let the tears come. Feel the loss. The big feelings never last long, they are a storm you can weather. Then the sky is brighter afterwards. Grief is medicine when expressed, poison when suppressed.


19, 21



I hope you never abandon yourself to be loved or accepted by someone else. They’re not getting the real you and you’re missing out on the experience of being loved and accepted just as you are.


16,21



Ask: What are you responsible for?


15-18



Spend time with people you admire, in person and biographies, documentaries, novels and movies.


14-17, 21



The better you eat, the better you feel. (And look.) if you eat like sh*t you’re going to feel like sh*t. Eat your vegetables! xoxo


17, 21



Kindness Confidence = Popular (Be kind to everyone, paying no attention to social status, age, looks, money or disability.) Be confident: Know that you are enough. You’ll never be perfect but no one else is either. When you mess up it’s not the end of the world- laugh at yourself when possible. Learn from failures. Don’t fake interest in people or things that don’t fill you up. Be who you are! People gravitate towards kindness and confidence


12



Typically, brains aren’t mature until about age 25. ADHD brains take longer


17, 21



Change “I need to” to “this matters because”. Instead of “I need to walk the dog” say “it matters that I walk the dog because he needs exercise and to check p-mail.” (Helps!)


8, 11, 16, 21



Read Prefontaine.


13



Go as a family to local high school musical productions.


9-13



1

You’re not obsessed with that person you’re just hyper fixating. It’s ADHD.


12, 16, 19, 21



Avoid the tendency to obsess over someone. It’s not romantic, it’s self-destructive. You’re worth more than that.


13, 15, 17, 19, 21



There’s a difference between looking cool and being cool. A person who wants to look cool is trying to impress other people. A person who is actually cool is true to himself /herself. Dress how it makes YOU happy! And fun fact, it’s those people who are the most well-liked because they sort of give others permission to be themselves…and everyone wants to be seen and liked for who they really are. So if you want to be popular remember three things: Be kind. Be yourself. Don’t judge


12,15



Watch Abby Wambach's 2018 Barnard commencement address together.


16



Check in on your friends. Even the ones that seem fine.


14-21



1

Santa not being real https://i.pinimg.com/736x/73/39/2a/73392a10d420aed79074da6511b131a7.jpg


11



Sad but important fact: You’ll never be enough for some people. Never. -Chasten Buttigieg


18



Beware of those forces that aim to pit good people against each other. Injustices hurt our sensibilities- as they should. So instead of bickering about who’s been wronged worse, let’s join hands and fight injustice on every front. If you get caught up in comparisons, everyone loses.


16



Talk about how to speak up for themselves and others.


1Infant-12, 16, 21



You an learn just about anything on Google or YouTube! Spend some time exploring together and caution about how to search safely.


9