Just because I forgive you, it doesn’t mean I trust you. Trust has to be earned.


15, 18, 21



Give him a copy of The Secret Lives of Great Composers by Elizabeth Lunday.


14



Remember when you’re faced with bullies, jerks and people who say bad things , follow advice from the Obama's: "When they go low we go high."


1Infant-14



Resist the urge to blurt out and over share when you’re feeling pressured to say something. Have a few “go to” phrases in your back pocket. “I’m at a lack of words” or “vibe check” or “let’s take a beat.” Come up with your own. Calm, kind, respectful. xoxo


11, 12, 14, 17, 21



I love that you got chills from watching Wicked. You were 10 and already affected emotionally and physically by music. Bonus points for listening to and acknowledging how your body talks to you.


13, 19, 21



Never make a decision from a place of hopelessness.


14, 16, 21



It’s very easy to wander into trouble- not usually easy to wander out of it.


12



A red brow line is an early sleepiness cue. If you notice the skin around baby’s eyebrows seems red, they’re ready for a nap.


Infant-1



The only thing that matters is love. When we live with love - for God, for others and ourselves, that is what makes life worth living.


16



You don’t have to go to college, but whether you do or not, I implore you to read. If you’re like me a slow reader, pace yourself but keep at it. Read bestsellers and classics. Fiction, biography, history, art, every damn thing. A big regret of my life is that I never tried to love reading as a kid. Do yourself a favor and carve out time to read every day. Even if’s it’s just a few pages. Your mind will sharpen and your heart will be full and your soul will be fed.


10, 12, 14, 15, 16, 21



Listen to albums. Two of my favorites came out the very same month: Cowboy Carter by Beyoncé and The Tortured Poets Department by Taylor Swift.


12



One of the funny/sensitive things about puberty is that kids can be the same age chronologically while being wildly varied in terms of development. Kid might be 6 feet tall in seventh grade or be a senior in high school and still not shaving. Everyone is self conscious, praying to avoid embarrassment. It’s all just part of growing up. Be kind to yourself and to your equally mortified peers.


11, 12, 13



Read (or listen to) A Fragile Stone together.


15



“Success is liking who you are, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.” - Maya Angelou


13, 15, 21



Stuff will happen and you’ll think “I can’t get through this. I can’t go on.” In the moment it really feels that way. But ...You will survive. You’ll find a way. Never give up on yourself. I never will.


17



Put down your phone and be in the moment. Teach this. Model this.


7



You are always responsible for how you act, no matter what you’re feeling. (Or whether you’re drunk or in any way impaired.) Hammer this point home for the next 10 years!


13



Spend time with people you admire, in person and biographies, documentaries, novels and movies.


14-17, 21



Shelter, water, Fire, food. (Outdoor survival priorities.)


12, 17



Grit.


14



Not all babies are born healthy. There’s grief over that, a painful letting go of hopes and expectations, but eventually parents begin to dream different dreams for their baby. You have it within you to love deeply


21



Sit down together and write house rules on anger. We don’t hit or bite. Do we yell and slam doors? Name-call? Say “I don’t love you” ? Bad words? What’s appropriate anger and what’s unacceptable?


4-6



Get really clear about what you want so that you’ll be able to recognize it when it’s here. Get really clear on the kind of relationship you want so that you can realize when it’s not with the person you’re seeing.


17, 21



When you feel hopeless that’s when you know it’s time to seek help. It’s a red flag in someone’s demeanor. Notify parents if you notice this feeling of deep despair in yourself or someone you know. Help really does help.


13, 15, 17, 19, 21



A dear friend of the family used to swear by the many healing properties of Seabreeze (alcohol based astringent.) She’d prescribe it for everything from sunburn to bug bites, rashes and scrapes. it stung like heck but she was right: The stuff is a miracle! I always keep a bottle Seabreeze around and think of Mimi every time I use it.


18



Follow love and kindness wherever they may take you and you’ll be fine. xoxo


13, 17, 21



Puberty is like putting a 12 year old in the pilot seat of a fighter jet. A total sh*t show at first, then better but still erratic and dramatic until they really get a feel for the speed and the pressure, the gauges, etc. They’ll learn when to question or to trust their instincts. Tell him that he’ll fly this jet for the rest of his life and it will always be dangerous because it’s an effing jet, but he will learn how to fly it expertly. He’ll do good, have fun, accomplish missions and refuel.


12



"The idea that some lives matter less is the root of all that is wrong with the world." - Paul Farmer


15, 21



When you have no idea what you’re doing, just be kind. Be brave. Think critically and make the best decisions you can in the moment. If possible, find resources to learn what you need to know. Ask for help if help is available. Do your best and don’t sweat it.


18