Eat at a local restaurant tonight. Get the cream sauce. Have a cold pint at 4 o’clock in a mostly empty bar. Go somewhere you’ve never been. Listen to someone you think may have nothing in common with you. Order the steak rare. Eat an oyster. Have a Negroni. Have two. Be open to a world where you may not understand or agree with the person next to you, but have a drink with them anyways. Eat slowly. Tip your server. Check in on your friends. Check in on yourself. Enjoy the ride." - Anthony Bourdain


18, 21



Never post a pic to social media that you wouldn't want Grandma to see. NEVER send or ask to receive naked pictures. It's tacky, gross, illegal and not worth it. Even if "everyone does it". It's rude and disrespectful.


11-13, 18



There's an old saying that goes something like "Don't focus on how big your problems are, focus instead on how big your God is." On a certain level, it's trite and too simple. It's almost insulting. But without discounting the real pain behind your problems, I encourage you to practice exactly what it says. There's no need (or way) to forget about your problems, but you CAN change your focus, and decide to cling to the goodness of the Lord. Meditate on God's power, His (Her/Their) goodness, patience, his grace, his beauty, and most of all, his love. Hard to do? Yes, maybe at first. But how much time do you spend thinking about what is causing you pain? (I have a talent for perseverating on it. I go over and over and over how I was wronged or why I failed, or how I could have said it differently.) no matter how much time I spend, I don't feel any better! If you learn to take half the time you would spend thinking about your [very real] pain, and focus on God's goodness, you'll be amazed at how much better you feel. It's not even about praying for help, or blessings, etc. Just think about how infinitely GOOD He is: Artist, scientist, parent, environmentalist, creator, healer, friend, forgiving judge, patient teacher. Loving father. Christ, the human face of God, is saying "Look right here. Hold on tight to me. I know. I love you. I've got you." Practice shifting your focus and you'll get better and better at it. The pain WILL fade. Your heart will fill with light. Age 15 Faith


15



Failures are part of life. Feel free to fail. But behave with honor. Never do anything to tarnish your good name.


14, 18



You don’t have to lower your standards, just lower your walls.


12, 15, 21



When you feel sad, mad, confused or in any way upset, go to a quiet place to catch your breath. If you can sit with it and let it tell you what it wants to tell you, then you become its friend. But if you try to deny the feeling, or numb it, it grows much stronger and it fights you.


9, 13, 19



Talk about how to "go the extra mile."


14



Define success for yourself. Be wary of becoming a corporate coal miner. Why bust your $@!#% for years and in school so you can bust your $@!#% for years in a soul-sucking job? Regardless of compensation that is not success in my book. How do you define success? For me it's "Do good. Have fun. Belong to a tribe. Meaningful work with people you love.Make enough money to pay the bills and not have to worry about the basics."


17



Watch film “Radio” (2003) and talk about being brave. Teach them that doing what’s right takes courage.


8



Mindset for a breakup: “I’d rather adjust to your absence than be continually frustrated by your presence.” Can work with romantic partners, jobs, habits...anything you’re hanging on to that you know you should let go of.


19



Begin colon cancer screening at 40. We have a family history on both sides.


21



You’re gonna be misunderstood a lot. Some people just won’t like you. It’s okay. Wish them well and let it go.


10, 13, 16, 21



There’s a great scene in Game of Thrones where Tyrion is trying to prepare for an impending siege of the city but he doesn’t know how to begin planning a defense. Until he starts thinking about how his enemy is most likely to attack. Defense is reactive, offensive is proactive.


19



Turn on the closed captions on tv. Reading them is almost unconscious. Even better, set the audio to a language other than English and turn on English captions.


4-9



Like me, you turn to food for comfort. That’s okay to a point, but it won’t help. That hole you’re trying to fill will just get deeper. So if you can’t or won’t stop eating for comfort please consider this suggestion: Do something creative first. Sing, write, paint, run, lift, act, improv, whatever. The hole will be so much more shallow when you go to try and fill it with food. Hopefully, eventually you’ll get to the point of staying in “creative mode” to feel better.


10, 12, 13, 16, 21



Adjust your expectations but never lower your standards.


12, 15, 18, 21



Relationships can end beautifully and bravely. They’re not all going to be forever. It’s much better to grieve the end of a relationship than to endure an unhealthy one.


15, 19, 21



Keep a pair of nail clippers in the car - much better lighting outside. Clipping tiny fingernails is terrifying!


Infant-1



You can love someone and still not tolerate their abuse. Protect your peace and safety.


17, 21



Don’t get discouraged in how slow change comes. Keep fighting for good. Some people will say it’s naive but they’re wrong. Every good thing we have in America is the result of good people fighting a seemingly impossible fight.


16, 21



The version of you that will handle whatever problem comes your way will be born into existence in the moment when it happens. Trust your future self to handle future challenges.


12, 15, 21



Girls: does he put in the effort even when it’s inconvenient or uncomfortable for him?


16, 20, 21



Watch the local news together.


12



Sometimes procrastination is part of the process. Eventually though, doing the thing is easier than stressing over it or hiding from it.


10. 12, 15, 21



Sometimes it feels really good to say “no.” (Or “no thank you.” Or “$@!#% no!”)


14, 20



Best song for a good cry: “And so It Goes” by Billy Joel.


15, 21



Let’s talk about hungry kids. What can we do to help? Donate? Volunteer? Start a Little Free Pantry?


7-12



Learn how to quiet your demons / that voice that tells you you’re not good enough. Great resource is Dan Harris’ 2022 TED talk.


14, 19, 21



Let’s look for examples of bravery.


8