Just fill ‘em with love. Every other parenting mistake or deficit can be fixed, but if a child grows up thinking it’s not loved and doesn’t have a place in this world, that is a recipe for permanent and painful damage. Not necessarily “spoil” them, but cut them slack as often as possible. Just love ‘em up.


Infant-21



Help him write a letter to someone in power if he has a question or concern about something he sees going on in the world.


7-11



Read “Lighter” by Yung Pueblo. Read it every year.


17, 19, 21



Trust me when I tell you that one day you’ll look back and realize you judged people unfairly and you held strong to convictions only to end up changing your mind about in the light of life experience. Leave a little space open for second impressions or the possibility that you could be wrong.


17



Before heading out for a good time, make a mental note on the ways you could wreck or end your life if bad stuff happened: Sick/hurt/dead from alcohol or drugs, unintended pregnancy, or being raped (or being charged with rape.) What do u have to do to protect yourself and keep things from going from good times to life-changing nightmare. Keep your wits about ya. And look out for your friends too.


15, 17, 18, 19, 21



When you feel like judging someone, try to resist the urge and get curious instead. There’s always a story.


16



Spend time with people you admire, in person and biographies, documentaries, novels and movies.


14-17, 21



“If you don’t know what hurts me, how can you say you love me?” From a story told by Rabbi Levi Yitzhak ....Do you know what causes him pain or anxiety? What he’s afraid of? In an age-appropriate way....Talk about our fears and the things that hurt us. He will see it’s normal to have fear and pain, and he will learn he can come to me with anything that troubles him.


8



“You don’t get what you deserve. You get what you negotiate.” - name escapes me


15, 19, 21



If you’ve never dressed a newborn before, an easy way to get the hang of it is to lay the outfit flat on the bed and then place the baby on top of it. Tuck her little arms and legs inside one at a time, then zip or snap them in. Done!


Infant



If it makes you happy it doesn't have to make sense to anyone else.


11, 14, 20



Let's all go on a "complaining diet." See how long we can go without a complaint for a weekend. Repeat often.


9-15



Summer Olympics for neighborhood kids. Create events in all kinds of sports, games and skills. Mix it up so the littler ones and the less athletically inclined have something they can succeed at too.


8-12



Frustrated with school or work? It bothers you because you care or you hurt. That’s human.


14



Stage one relationship: first few dates. Stage two, you really like them. Stage three, you love them and are exclusive. Stage four: you commit to building a future together. You’re going to have many stage one and two relationships. Probably a few stage three, and if you’re lucky you’ll have one or two stage fours.


14, 17, 21



You have yet to meet so many parts of yourself. All kinds of different people, places and experiences will draw those parts out of you.


15, 18, 21



Every time your heart breaks, your vision gets better. You appreciate beauty and recognize and respond to others’ pain better.


12, 15, 18, 21



Chemistry is not the same thing as compatibility.


16, 19, 21



Considering taking meds for your mental health but concerned about the side effects? Consider the side effects of *not* taking them! Meds don’t turn you into someone you’re not, they lift the murky fog around your brain so you can be more yourself. It’s the depression that changes you. Meds just help you get rid of the fog.


18, 21



Practice making yourself do something you don’t feel like doing. Practice and it gets easier


10, 12, 15, 18, 21



Other peoples’ expectations are the guard rails on the road. They keep you safe and guide you he way - literally. They keep you from driving off a cliff. So if you want to be safe, and if you do that’s great, stay within the guardrails. But if you want to fly, you’re gonna have to run right over them.


18, 21



Kids Can Make a Difference is a great resource for teaching little kids about poverty and equality.


6-10



Action is the antithesis of anxiety.


18



Great article on how to explain that bodies AND brains are undergoing rapid changes during adolescence. Re-read and then chat! https://www.upworthy.com/amp/this-mother-s-description-of-her-tween-son-s-brain-is-a-must-read-for-all-parents?c=ufb1


10



Talk about how to act respectfully and be inclusive of children with disabilities and facial deformities, etc.


5-10



Great message about not letting people hurt you just because they have painful scars. Their scars aren’t yours to heal, and you deserve to be treated well. Very well. https://vm.tiktok.com/TTPd2beHxu/


15, 21



Give them the book Starfish by Lisa Fipps.


12, 14



Sometimes when you win, you lose. And when you lose, you win. Meaning that sometimes when you get what you want it doesn’t work out well. And sometimes wonderful things happen as a result of a failure or disappointment. Chin up. There’s a million paths to happiness and fulfillment. If one doesn’t work out your will find another.


12, 21



Look for glimmers. The opposite of triggers. Feels of elation, belonging, peaceful contentment. I just watched you glimmer as you delighted in your first Crunchbox. “I made this!!!”


12, 15, 19, 21



Being a professional means taking your work seriously not necessarily taking yourself seriously but take the job seriously, you’re there to do a job your income and the income of those around you depend on it is not a joke. It is not something to be played with you made a commitment, honor it. Show up, prepared and ready to work. Be there on time dressed well alert and positive..


16, 17, 21