If your partner doesn’t want to commit to you, it’s not a matter of convincing them. Even if you get them to walk down the aisle that’s not the problem. It’s not that they don’t want to get married, it’s that they don’t want to BE married to you. And that is not a problem that will go away even if you manage to “get” them to commit. Walk away or spend the rest of your life pulling them along. F that.


21



We’re all just so delicate. It’s just our nature. Treat others (and yourself) accordingly. Even/ especially the ones that seem to be tough as nails or sharp as wire. Try not to lose sight of that.


13, 16, 20



Venting is crucial but not always appropriate. Make sure you’re in the right place (no chance whatsoever of being overheard), the right time (take care of business first) and that the person you’re unloading on has the mental bandwidth to listen to you vent your emotions. Avoid interrupting if they’re busy, or not in a good headspace. You’ll know this because you asked.


14, 17, 21



Marry for character, not just chemistry.


17, 21



No bragging. Don’t toot your own horn.


11, 15, 21



Never resist a generous impulse.


9, 12, 19



Read “Raising a Screen Smart Kid” by Julianna Miner before you consider giving him a phone.


10



Watch the news together. Local and national. Today Show has both of mornings are easier than evenings.


12, 13, 14, 15



The person who lives in the body gets to say who touches that body.


5



“It’s best if we don’t speak for a while.” Practice it


19, 21



You’ll miss me when I’m gone, but if I did my job right you won’t need me.


21



There’s one thing I’ve noticed that makes the difference between an adult and someone who is over 18: That person’s proclivity for reading. Books make you smarter, yes but they also make you kinder, funnier, more empathetic and more tolerant of opposing viewpoints. Travel has a similar effect but is a lot more expensive! If you want to be a genuine grownup, read (or listen to) everything you can get your hands on.


10, 14, 16, 20



Talk about how to speak up for themselves and others.


1Infant-12, 16, 21



“Dress braver than you feel. Act braver than you feel.” - Ray


17



Difficult conversations: Break-ups, layoffs, etc. happen. Practice delivering bad news and getting bad news.


15-21



“You will encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated.” -Maya Angelou


17



Yoga for kids classes or YouTube


5-8



Watch film “Radio” (2003) and talk about being brave. Teach them that doing what’s right takes courage.


8



Send thank you acknowledgemnt for gifts received


1-21



Surround yourself with people, places and spaces that feed your spirit. At the very least, avoid those that drain your spirit.


17



Sleep paralysis runs in the family. If you ever feel like you’re awake but you can’t move - don’t panic. It will pass in a minute. It’s just a lag time in your sleep/wake cycle.


20



Opioids are highly addictive. If possible, stay away from them entirely and definitely not for more than 2-3 days. Manage pain with NSAIDS or Tylenol.


16, 18, 21



We don’t always get what we want. Sometimes we have to wait. Sometimes we go without it. Sometimes when we DO get what we wanted it looks different than how we imagined it would. AND IT’S OK. We’re ok. The world keeps turning! That’s a huge lesson and a valuable one. Practice “pushing the snooze button” on wants. Enlist their help. “I understand you want ____. Would this be something you could snooze or do without?”


5, 10, 20



Be sound. Keep fit. Act silly. Enjoy nature. Read books. Love freely. Find purpose. Hate Everton Travel often. Cook passionately Feel content. Antagonise dickheads. Ignore anxieties. Value mates. Celebrate life Be you. Saw his on social media and couldn’t have said it better. Apparently Everton is a soccer team.


15, 19



Never trust your tongue when your heart is bitter. Hush until you heal.


12, 18



If you’re anything like the rest of your family you will have a lot of opinions -and that’s OK! Just remember a couple of things: First: you have a right to your opinion but you do not have a right to your own facts. facts matter. seek the truth even if i it means you are proven wrong. And second, with regard to opinions ...it’s better to not express them so much if you can help it! You may be the first in the family to get this concept and put it into practice!


13-15



This Coda is my creation. It’s what I wanted to accomplish as a parent. What you do with it is entirely up to you. I hope you never feel like you have to do the same. Make your own way. Make yourself proud. If you’re happy, I’m happy.


21



Get at least 2, preferably 3 estimates on any major expenses for home or car.


21



Human creativity is nature manifest in us.


15, 21



Talk about the difference between not feeling comfortable and not feeling safe.


7, 11, 14, 19. 21