People are insecure. Be mindful of fragile egos (we all have them to a degree.) Avoid implying that people aren't doing a good job.


20



“God is gentle and loving. He desires you to have a deep sense of safety in His love.” - paraphrasing Henri Nouwen


16



Know the difference between an inconvenience and a tragedy. Hint: If it can be fixed with money or effort, it’s probably not a tragedy.


15, 20



The most important things I can teach you is how to love and be loved


14, 19, 21



Maria Shriver has lots of great parenting advice. One of my favorites is (paraphrased): “Children need what you need: to be seen, to be talked to, to feel safe and loved.”


Infant



People want to be heard. Listen to your clients, even when they're upset. Don't make excuses or anything, just let them talk. They mostly just want to be heard. Once they're calm, you can solve the problem.


21



Watch Parts Unknown together.


14-16



Attend a school board meeting or some sort of government meeting. Attend / participate.


13



Avoid bird seed or pet food near your home. It attracts mice, rats, ticks, etc. keep bird feeders that use seed a good distance from the house. Try liquid feeders near windows. Or use a feed tray or hulled seeds (little waste.)


20



Ask “What are you going to teach ME?” Let him work on something to teach.


11



You should feel safe with friends. They shouldn’t try to get you hurt or in trouble. Anyone who makes you feel unsafe is not your friend.


8-15



Floss!!! All kinds of health benefits including decreased risk for heart disease and diabetes. Plus you get to keep your teeth. It's a no-brainer.


14, 18, 21



Hand out tulip bulbs (or some sort of bulbs) at my funeral and ask people to plant a few in their yard. But NOT daffodils. I hate daffodils. And lilies, hate ‘em.) So tulips then.


21



The kindest person in the room may not necessarily be the smartest. But the cruelest person is always the dumbest.


10, 15, 21



When you’re at home in your own skin you invite people to be at home in theirs too.


14, 20



• you can't make anyone love you • not every relationship is meant to last forever • sometimes two good people can make one bad relationship.


16-20



Writing is thinking.


14, 17. 21



“Things are not perfect, because life is not TV and we are real people with scarred, worried hearts. But it’s amazing a lot of the time.” - Anne Lamott


14



Take the train to Roanoke.


10



Teach tuck to drive


15



Look into YMCA “family camp” in PA.


7



Putting up the Christmas tree the weekend or next after Thanksgiving, then watching Polar Express in the glow of the lights. Maybe the smell of gingerbread cookies baking too.


5-9



The opposite of addiction is connection. Genuine connection can take lots of forms.


14, 17, 19, 21



Default to "nice guy." Meaning it should require something significant for you NOT to be nice. Give people the benefit of the doubt. Cut them (and yourself) some slack. Life is hard. We're all in this together.


12



“When it comes to consequences, don’t speak what you won’t serve.” Meaning don’t threaten any punishment you’re not willing to enforce. This is helpful in terms of teaching the child a lesson and also an important lesson in not shooting yourself in the foot. (I took away your tv one day you were home on a snow day. Bad idea. That punishment was against my own interest! I got no work done.


2



Never allow anyone to tell you who you are.


17



Every “yes” to something is a “no” to something else. Take your time processing the choices - write in your journal, sweat it out, listen to music, talk to someone you trust, read books from experts. Once you’re clear about what you’re giving up, let it go and don’t look back. (Remember there’s no advice that’s right more than 99% of the time. Always trust your gut. Just remember an impulse isn’t the same thing as a gut check.)


15, 16, 19, 21



Check out Long Lake Summer Camp in NY. Theater, the arts, etc.


12, 13, 14, 15, 16



Listen to albums. Two of my favorites came out the very same month: Cowboy Carter by Beyoncé and The Tortured Poets Department by Taylor Swift.


12



Ladies, don’t waste a moment of your precious time trying to get a man’s attention. If he’s interested he will love heaven and earth to get YOUR attention. Save your energy for joy and work and learning and doing whatever floats your boat! Let him be the one to twist himself in knots.


15, 18, 20