Have the first of many talks about what consent means. Tell them (boys AND girls) that consent needs to be informed, enthusiastic, sober, ongoing and freely given. Stress that, in no uncertain terms, the absence of consent is rape. Discuss the legal, moral and emotional consequences.


12



Never pretend o know what you don’t know. But you can bluff your way through a lot of interviews just by doing a 30 minute Google search. Research the company, the industry, its governing body, key terms, awards, criticism, etc. Check out their social media.


17, 19, 21



“Pain that is not transformed is transmitted.” Fr. Richard Rohr


14



Begin colon cancer screening at 40. We have a family history on both sides.


21



Invest in a laminator, a label maker and a glue gun. You’ll be glad you did!


5



Say it early and repeat it often, so that it sinks way down deep: There is nothing you could do to make me stop loving you. No mistake, no failure, no decision, nothing. There is no hole so deep that if you fell into it I wouldn’t climb down to help you out of. I love you no matter what.


7



Whether they’re young or old, try not to under-estimate people. Most people will impress the heck out of you.


15



You're about to come into a ton of energy and strength. It will seem like a lot to manage at first, but you'll get used to it and learn to use it constructively. Push your limits (within reason.) Challenge yourself.


13



Quoting Sarah Bessel: “One of the best things Jen Hatmaker has taught me about raising big kids: if they get on the roller coaster of Big Emotions, my main first job is to stay on the platform. I am NOT to get in the car and ride up


12



Set up a dog agility course in the backyard. Use household items or toys, etc and lots of dog treats for training.


8



Never do two illegal things at the same time. Don’t break the law while breaking the law.


16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21



Time is of the essence


16



On grief: CS Lewis said somewhere that it isn’t just that his friend died, it’s that the part of him that only his friend could bring out would never be brought out again.


17, 21



Send thank you acknowledgemnt for gifts received


1-21



1

It’s hard to want something and not have it. Kids have to learn how to sit with that.


3-17



“Pirate Rules” is a temporary suspension of the usual rules. It means pretty much anything goes for this moment so we can all stay sane. ——-Loosen the rules on snacks, bedtime, screen time, etc. in special circumstances.


1-5



Everything not saved will be lost. This is true for documents in Word and in life.


16



Find what you love Do what you love Be what you love Live what you love Love what you love and never look back ... Except to love.


19



What I most want to teach you this year is that you can always trust me. I will always love you, take care of you and never harm you. You may not always like me, but you can always trust me.


1



“For better or worse means no matter what life throws at us, not no matter what you do to me.” - Brenda Linn


19, 21



Read Harry Potter series to him / with him.


9-10



Marry for character, not just chemistry.


17, 21



Major life events such as the birth of a baby, graduations, new job, (lost job) are a big deal. Make a fuss. Take an interest in loved ones’ experiences. Acknowledge their feelings. Express a sincere interest in others (young and old) will profoundly affect your relationships.


15, 19



I did my best to guide you, but I’m sure there are many areas where my take is just not aligned with yours. That’s okay! Bunny please don’t feel any obligation to believe what I believe or take any advice, or continue any tradition mentioned in this Coda.


21



Life doesn’t have to turn out like you imagined it would in order to be AMAZING.


19



Look for glimmers. The opposite of triggers. Feels of elation, belonging, peaceful contentment. I just watched you glimmer as you delighted in your first Crunchbox. “I made this!!!”


12, 15, 19, 21



You should feel safe with friends. They shouldn’t try to get you hurt or in trouble. Anyone who makes you feel unsafe is not your friend.


8-15



None of us should ever have to apologize for being who we are.


10, 14, 21



You can’t ask someone to change who they are before you live or accept them.


12, 15, 21