People always say “Be yourself.” That’s good advice but really what does it mean? I think it’s easier to explain what it DOESN’T mean: When you’re being yourself you’re not pretending to be interested in something or someone you’re not. You’re not doing something just to please someone else (or just to tick them off.) You’re not wearing anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. You’re not pretending to have fun when you’re not having fun. You’re not trying to impress anyone. You’re not trying to fade into the background. You’re not trying to change anything about yourself or someone else. I think that’s a good start. What does “being yourself” mean to you?


11-14, 18, 21



Small joys are what gets you through big grief.


14, 18, 21



"Make yourself proud." Teach them to take pride in themselves - in their work, their behavior. Everything from a 3 year-old making her bed to a 10 year-old's homework. If they learn to keep going until they're satisfied it's done well, they won't need us to keep after them.


4



Just because you miss your ex that doesn’t mean you want them back. Of course you miss someone you had a deep connection with.


17, 21



People will always have complicated feelings about the people they once loved. We’re human beings, we can’t expect emotions to be like an on/off switch. Complicated feelings/mixed emotions regarding an ex is to be expected. What’s important is what they decide.


17, 21



Teach your pets they can trust you. Take care of them. Treat them with tenderness. Teach them how to behave. (Unless it's a cat. You can't teach cats anything.)


15



Set up a 529 plan. Virginia has a great plan if you don't want to do too much research https://www.savingforcollege.com/


birth-age 3



“Be curious. Read. Use the latest tools available to you.” - Bill Gates when asked for his advice to young people in the dawn of AI era.


12, 14, 16, 18



No need to over communicate. Brief, simple succinct when conveying instructions or important information. Applies across the board personal/professional etc.


14, 17, 21



Start a yearly “review” right before school year. Raise allowance as appropriate. If they want more money, they’ll have to take on more responsibilities.


8



Numbing doesn’t work. Let it hurt, let it heal, then it lets itself go.


15,21



“When you are not fed love off a silver spoon you will learn to lick it off of knives.” Lauren Eden (poet)


0, 20



Read "A Wrinkle in Time" (me too.)


10



Look for examples of people who have dealt with loss without giving in to bitterness. What do they have in common?


17



Healing happens when you give up the hope that the past could have been any different. xoxo


20



Remember this: “It’s not always about you.” It’s a natural tendency to take things personally- someone’s bad mood, or not paying attention to you, or not calling, etc. But most times when we see people acting shy/aloof/crabby or mean - it has nothing to do with us and everything to do with them, and what they’re experiencing. Try (a) not to take things personally and (b) to have compassion for people, who are all going through something.


12, 16, 20



If baby / toddler is melting down, put them in the bathtub or bring them outside. A change in temperature will calm them.


Infant-4



Be intentional. You don’t get to choose what they remember.


1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10



The secret to getting sinks and surfaces to shine is to dry-buff them after you clean them. Keep a soft clean rag or washcloth around so you can dry fixtures and sinks and counter tops. (They should be cleaning their own bathrooms by this age.)


11



Plants eat sunlight. Eat mostly plants.


14, 17, 21



Be generous in all things. That is my hope for you.


14, 18, 21



1

Sometimes when you win, you lose. And when you lose, you win. Meaning that sometimes when you get what you want it doesn’t work out well. And sometimes wonderful things happen as a result of a failure or disappointment. Chin up. There’s a million paths to happiness and fulfillment. If one doesn’t work out your will find another.


12, 21



Sometimes you don’t know what to do, can’t figure out what’s the right direction for you. That’s okay. Try thinking about what you *don’t* want to do. (See John Cusack career plans speech in 1989 movie “Say Anything.”


11, 16, 19, 21



Toddler not interested in food? Hand them a random kitchen gadget to play with while you’re feeding them dinner, they’ll eat more if distracted.


1,2



You remember experiences, connections. Not stuff. Don’t get too caught up in stuff.


12, 15, 17, 21



Read Just Mercy by Bryan Stevenson together.


17



When someone hurts us or REALLY pisses us off... We have to pray for them. It’s hard to stay mad at someone you’re praying for.


8-18



It's a skill to learn how to love people the way they need to be loved. I highly recommend reading the Five Love Languages.


18, 21



Life doesn’t need to be perfect to be beautiful.


20



Consent is more than the literal


13, 14, 15, 16, 21