The Golden Rule is wrong. At least when it comes to relationships and especially when it comes to parenting. Instead of treating someone how you’d want to be treated, treat them how THEY’D want to be treated.__ Learn what THEY need to feel safe and loved, how THEY express big feelings like fear, anxiety, anger and frustration.___ Instead of assuming the friend/partner/child /coworker wants to be treated how you’d want to be, take the time to learn about them. Then when someone you love is in distress you can respond to them in the way they need. ___(Lesson learned from reading The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. Great book. A little preachy but push past that. )


1, 13, 19



Even when something’s not the right fit (job interview, blind date, audition, etc.) you’re still making connections. You never know what could happen, so stay engaged and be yourself. Maybe that blind date who’s not into you has a friend who might be. Maybe that casting director will call you for a totally different role. Chin up! Ride the positive vibes you put out into the universe.


12,18, 21



Sex is something you do *with* someone, not *to* them. It should never be about scoring or bragging. It doesn’t make you a man. A man is someone who respects himself and others


13-17



Getting your drivers license will depend not only on government requirements (age, passing tests, etc.) but also maturity and trustworthiness.


14



When you apologize don’t offer excuses just acknowledge your mistake, apologize for the consequences, and assure them it won’t happen again.


12, 16, 21



Sometimes there’s nothing else to do with the pain except to use it to build a new life.


13. 17, 19, 21



When you’re older, remember that stuff like video games, alcohol, junk food, gambling, porn, and a whole host of other vices can turn on you, and become an addiction that wrecks your health, relationships or even your life. You don’t have to give up all this stuff, but keep them to a minimum. How often and how much is a big difference. It’s the difference between meeting a friend for a beer or two and walking into work hungover most days. Remember: You decide- How often and how much.


13, 16, 19



The next world is perfect and permanent. This world is neither, so save yourself the stress of trying to make things perfect (house, job, body, relationships, bank account, etc.) Embrace the impermanence by cherishing the good times. Know that the bad times won’t last. Remember that you are loved very much, and that God will shower you with the grace you need to handle whatever this imperfect life throws at you.


21



Learn how to release energy consciously, or you’ll end up releasing it unconsciously onto your loved ones in a negative way like yelling or arguing. Breathe, sing, shout, cry, sweat, play, bake, whatever floats your boat!


1-21



Kitchen knife skills. Know how to properly and safely cut, slice, chop, dice, carve, etc.


15, 21



Practice “going without.” Talk about how nobody gets what they want all the time. We should learn how to just choose to go without something we want. Get them in on the discussion and pick something every day to do without.


5-9



A wise friend once told me that the kids will do as well as you do. You can’t be a good parent if you’re a miserable person. Do what you need to do to stay healthy and sane.


1, 5, 15, 21



Play this every year between 12-21. https://vm.tiktok.com/TTPd2b593U/


12, 14, 16, 21



Just because you miss your ex that doesn’t mean you want them back. Of course you miss someone you had a deep connection with.


17, 21



Train for a mini-triathlon together as a family this year.


12



Work on controlling temper. Read books about how to reach this at a young age and keep updating the conversation as he grows. He needs to be able to control his temper.


4-7



I’m going to keep from telling them how to feel.


4-18



Explain the concept: "You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar."


6



In the words of Bear Grylls... '”Survival can be summed up in three words - never give up. That's the heart of it really. Just keep trying.”


14, 17, 21



It’s best not to cuss but writing bad words is even worse than speaking them. Even in casual texting, etc. Always an asterisk in place of a vowel to avoid being rude.


16



Win some, learn some.


14, 17, 21



Every “yes” to something is a “no” to something else. Take your time processing the choices - write in your journal, sweat it out, listen to music, talk to someone you trust, read books from experts. Once you’re clear about what you’re giving up, let it go and don’t look back. (Remember there’s no advice that’s right more than 99% of the time. Always trust your gut. Just remember an impulse isn’t the same thing as a gut check.)


15, 16, 19, 21



When they’re upset just ask what they need: space, distraction, or talk about it.


12



Philippians 4: 11-13


12



Find an activity / sport that they enjoy and support it. Get them outside and in the fresh air.


6-16



Share Brene Brown's short video on Empathy vs. Sympathy: Be the bear, not the goat. Fantastic 3 minute video. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Evwgu369Jw&feature=youtu.be


12, 14, 18, 21



Being accountable means saying that I was responsible for making sure this did not happen - but it did happen. I accept the blame and an prepared to incur the consequences. I will work earnestly to earn back your trust and confidence. The opposite of accountability is to make excuses or blame someone else for your mistake.


10, 18



In marriage there will be times or occasions when one of you will be “pilot” and the other “copilot” (depending on skills, abilities, circumstances, etc.) Both pilot and copilot are good! But never be a “passenger” in a relationship.


21



Mackinac Island trip


10