When you bring home a new baby, make sure your older kid(s) hear you talking to it the way you talk to them: “I’m sorry Baby I can’t hold you right now, I’m going to play with Sibling.” It makes it a lot easier to tell Siblings that you can’t give them attention right now because Baby needs you. Less resentment, etc.
No matter how smart you are or how much you know, you still don’t know everything. ALWAYS be willing to learn and to change your position when faced with new information or perspective.
Happiness, beauty, health, fun, success: define for yourself what each of those things mean. People and society are gonna try and convince you to share their definitions…don’t let them.
There is an expression “God only gives you what you can handle.” I think that’s backwards. I think that God gives you the grace you need to handle whatever comes your way. He is faithful and generous. I think that’s what “Be not afraid” means.
Technology doesn’t remove the expectation of good behavior. Be mindful of your manners (and all of our collective humanity) when posting on social media. And no anonymous trolling.
If you’re not prepared to sign your name to what you’re putting out there, that’s a good indication you shouldn’t be doing it.
Spend 20 minutes a day watching a show you like in Spanish (or whatever your target language is) with reactionary subtitles. You’ll pick it up in no time!
Discuss the concept that “It’s not always about you.” Some days need to be about supporting someone else in their joy - or sorrow. Your needs take a backseat.
People will always have complicated feelings about the people they once loved. We’re human beings, we can’t expect emotions to be like an on/off switch. Complicated feelings/mixed emotions regarding an ex is to be expected. What’s important is what they decide.
“Pirate Rules” is a temporary suspension of the usual rules. It means pretty much anything goes for this moment so we can all stay sane. ——-Loosen the rules on snacks, bedtime, screen time, etc. in special circumstances.
When choosing a partner I think it's less important that you both "believe" the same things and more important that you VALUE the same things and share the same priorities.
It’s fine, great, to be thrifty. But please don’t be cheap. Hard-earned money should neither be squandered or hoarded. Enjoy your success! But save more than you’re comfortable with. It’s like my running coach used to say: Keep going until you feel like you’re gonna poop your pants, then push yourself to do another mile. Point is, it should hurt a little.
I did my best to guide you, but I’m sure there are many areas where my take is just not aligned with yours. That’s okay! Bunny please don’t feel any obligation to believe what I believe or take any advice, or continue any tradition mentioned in this Coda.
When they confide in you or tell you something that makes them so vulnerable u don’t know what to tell them, just sat “I’m so glad you told me.” (You’re not alone, I heard you, I’m here and will stay with you until it’s resolved.) re-ticket yearly.
“Those who cannot change their mind cannot change anything.” -George Bernard Shaw......
As you live and love and learn, your views will evolve. It takes courage to grow.
Stuff is gonna happen! They will make incredibly stupid choices and get into all kinds of trouble. Take a beat. Be radically merciful. THAT is what they’ll remember and that is the lesson they’ll learn.