Re-Read Tim Russert's Big Russ and Me.


14



Don't let the laundry pile up. This lessons extends to pretty much every chore: Stay ahead of it and you won't get crushed by it.


17



Try not to confuse excess with quality. It’s okay not to have the biggest house on the block. It’s okay not to drive the fanciest car.


21



Be the kind of man that people feel safe around. Safe from harm, safe from judgment and safe from ridicule.


17



Don’t feed the thing you’re fighting.


13, 17, 21



“Anger is the part of yourself that loves you the most. It knows when you are being mistreated, neglected, or disrespected. It signals that you have to take a step out of a place that doesn’t do you justice. It makes you aware that you need to leave a room, a job, a relationship, and old patterns that don’t work for you anymore. Learn to listen to your anger and make it your best friend. Then it’ll leave.” -author unknown


11, 14, 16, 19, 21



Always clean from clean to dirty. Wash glassware first, greasy dishes last. Sink and tub first, then toilet. Then floor. Top-to bottom is another general rule.


13, 18



Toast your wife at every occasion.


21



When the child is feeling upset or out of control, that is not the time to teach a lesson. Share your calm, be a safe place for them. When they’re feeling better, THEN teach the lesson.


1, 2, 3, 4



To paraphrase Chris Rock, “You don’t get points for NOT beating your wife.” Meaning, you’re EXPECTED to do the right thing. So do the right thing, without any expectation of praise.


14, 18



Share a few of our most embarrassing moments. Teach them it’s okay to laugh at yourself and even when you’re mortified in the moment being embarrassed isn’t fatal. (And it happens to everyone.)


11



Professor Scott Galloway’s advice: Paraphrasing his standard wedding toast: “1. Express affection and desire. Everyone wants to be wanted. It’s healthy and it is part of what makes your relationship singular. 2. Never let your wife / girlfriend be hungry or cold. Two thirds of the really awful arguments you’ll have it’s because someone is hungry or cold. Carry blankets and protein bars. (You’re welcome.) 3. Don’t keep score. Decide what kind of friend / son / daughter / spouse / employee / human being you want to be, and practice being that. Put the scorecard away.”


21



Never give unsolicited advice. Instead ask “How can I best support you?”


14, 20



Just focus on shining on your own terms. Your shine is not dependent on anyone or anything else.


15



“I beseech you, in the bowels of Christ, think it possible that you may be mistaken.” - Oliver Cromwell ……. Great example of this is the story of Dr. Anthony Fauci with regard to his HIV/$@!#% research and corresponding dealings with the gay community. They started out adversarial but Fauci wasn’t above hearing their concerns and working together. Life-saving drugs got approved as a result. Dr. Fauci is one of my heroes. Huge brain, big heart and tiny ego.


15



I promise I will never snoop. No matter how curious I am, I will not violate your privacy. But if I ever think you may be in danger I will break any promise and any law I have to in order to keep you safe.


10, 12, 14, 15



No absolute restrictions on food but stress that some foods are “party food.” Chips, for example. (I love potato chips!)


4



Build a backyard adventure camp


8



Getting your drivers license will depend not only on government requirements (age, passing tests, etc.) but also maturity and trustworthiness.


14



Always hold the door open for the next person.


4-14



Read poem “Wild Geese” by Mary Oliver. (“...You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves...”)


17



Fire drills. Practice what to do, where to go if the house is on fire. Have an escape plan.


5-10



Try silence. Just sit with it (problem/feeling/etc.) invite the problem to sit next to you and just be quiet. Five minutes every day for a week or two. Your solution will appear. Stop running and just sit with it.


16



Rainstorms are gangrenous- avoid driving in them or being out on foot. I’ve personally known people who have died from lightening strikes (running) and falling tree limbs (in their car. The mom in drivers’ seat and child in front seat both died.)


16



When trying to make a u-turn with a tight turning radius, go VERY slow. .You’ll be more likely to make it and if you don’t make it you won’t cause damage.)


16



Hold yourself to account when you screw up but give yourself some grace. Instead of “I’m such a terrible person” ask yourself “”How can I make up for this? What can I learn from this? How can I do better next time?”


10, 12, 15, 19



“You will use up everything you got trying to give people what they want.” —- Nina Simone


17



Difficult conversations are…difficult. If you have to deliver bad news, don’t beat around the bush but prepare them for what’s coming rather than just blurting it out. “I have some news that’s going to be difficult to hear…” Or “Is this a good time to talk?” Those are just a couple examples, but many more are available. Look it up or ask people who routinely have to give bad news.


20



Yoga for kids classes or YouTube


5-8



Focus on the lesson not the pain.


14, 21