On grief: CS Lewis said somewhere that it isn’t just that his friend died, it’s that the part of him that only his friend could bring out would never be brought out again.


17, 21



Default to "nice guy." Meaning it should require something significant for you NOT to be nice. Give people the benefit of the doubt. Cut them (and yourself) some slack. Life is hard. We're all in this together.


12



Dress for energetic alignment. Screw what other people think. Your ability to live a creative, wholehearted life is inversely proportional to how much you care what people think of you. (Care what YOU think of yourself. Express yourself however you can as long as you’re not causing harm or breaking the law. Have fun. Be gentle to yourself.


13, 15, 17, 19, 21



Let's find little ways to practice self-control and build that muscle.


11



1

Date all kinds but marry someone who loves you for who you are, with whom you feel most yourself. Someone who will encourage you to grow more into the person you want to be. (And be good at encouraging them to do same.) Never fear or stifle each other’s growth. Celebrate it. Support it. Encourage it.


21



"The idea that some lives matter less is the root of all that is wrong with the world." - Paul Farmer


15, 21



Take the train to Roanoke.


10



Don’t bring a complaint without offering a solution.


17, 19, 21



Some days it feels like your world is falling apart, but what's really happening is that it's falling into place. Make good choices. Be kind. Be brave. Trust.


15, 21



Ask him for Christmas present: recite Andy Weir’s “The Egg.” Bonus points for memorization! Also great idea for audition tape. )I’m assuming you’ll be in theater!) xoxo


15



Maria Shriver has lots of great parenting advice. One of my favorites is (paraphrased): “Children need what you need: to be seen, to be talked to, to feel safe and loved.”


Infant



It’s when the sh*t hits the fan that real discipleship begins.


21



To quote Harvard professor Adam Grant: “Argue like you’re right and listen like you’re wrong.”


15



Action is the antithesis of anxiety.


18



“Never let anyone tell you who you are. SHOW them who you are.” - Kamala Harris


12, 13, 17, 21



Remember the hymn we used to sing at bedtime when you were little? “What Does the Lord Require of You?” To seek justice. To love kindness. To walk humbly with your God. (Walk humbly means to remember God is so very good. That he loves you and is for you and wants you to talk to him, listen for him, love him, serve him.) No matter what religion you practice (or don’t practice) I hope you’ll remember that.


17



Go out of your way to part on good terms whenever possible, in all circumstances.


18



Pool safety- never touch equipment and always have a grownup present when swimming.


3-8



Keep stuff on hand for guests. Be ready to be a good host / hostess at any moment.


16-21



1

Learn about current trends in social media. Figure out where you draw boundaries, what platforms are allowed and not. Teach them how to stay safe, be positive and kind and always respectful.


9



I hope you never abandon yourself to be loved or accepted by someone else. They’re not getting the real you and you’re missing out on the experience of being loved and accepted just as you are.


16,21



Great article on making math fun: https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/how-to-get-reluctant-children-to-embrace-math/2014/03/04/4be99e46-959d-11e3-8461-8a24c7bf0653_story.html


6



This Coda is my creation. It’s what I wanted to accomplish as a parent. What you do with it is entirely up to you. I hope you never feel like you have to do the same. Make your own way. Make yourself proud. If you’re happy, I’m happy.


21



You always have a choice. Always.


15, 19, 21



Sex talk: “Forget about sex. Just play first.” Forget about making a move and just have fun. Dance, listen to music together, go somewhere exciting, look at something beautiful, read to each other, play sports, let yourself be seen and encourage them to do the same. Communicate in a hundred ways: talk/send texts/ post on social media, pass notes, whatever. “Sex isn’t the door to intimacy


15



Sesame Street has great resources on teaching finances to little ones.


4-5



Unkind people are unhappy people.


8, 18



Let’s find an activity where you can work with your hands


11



Read “Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child” by Dr. Marc Weissbluth


Infant



Keep difficult conversations brief. Under ten minutes then table it so everyone can process.


13, 14, 16. 19, 21