Third or fourth grade is usually a time of friendship drama. Hurt feelings abound. Treat yourself and them gently. Hold space for sadness and frustration. The last thing we ever want to do is to change who we are (what we like) in order to fit in. Good friends encourage you to let your light shine, they don’t mock your light, or imply you should dim it. I don’t care who’s popular, good looking etc, beware of anyone who thinks mean is cool. Gravitate towards kind, weird, talented, interesting, funny, etc. Good vibes are always better than “cool.”


8, 9, 10



Read Big Magic by Liz Gilbert. Re-read every 5-10 years.


19, 21



Watch Ken Burns’ “The US and the holocaust.”


17



Don’t Just “go along for the ride” in your relationships. Be clear about your intentions and act accordingly. It’s part of being a man. A GOOD man. Sometimes you just need to have a talk and make sure you’re both on the same page. It won’t $@!#% you!


16, 21



You're about to come into a ton of energy and strength. It will seem like a lot to manage at first, but you'll get used to it and learn to use it constructively. Push your limits (within reason.) Challenge yourself.


13



There’s an art to speaking harsh truths in a delicate way. There’s an art in describing a ridiculous person or thing without being insulting. Mark Twain was a master at it. Read up!


17, 21



Typically, brains aren’t mature until about age 25. ADHD brains take longer


17, 21



Remember that whoever you’re grieving would only want the best for you.


20



No matter how smart you are or how much you know, you still don’t know everything. ALWAYS be willing to learn and to change your position when faced with new information or perspective.


15, 20



“If we could see our prayers we would never stop praying.” - Bunmi Laditan, by way of her angel.


11, 17



“It’s not your job to make people love you. It’s your job to show people who you are and allow them the opportunity to love you, if they want to. If they don’t, please just let them walk away. They were probably going to walk away anyway, they were just sticking around to see if you’d beg a little bit. Don’t even give them that. Let them go. You’re not a shape shifter. You’re not going to turn into the version of yourself that you think would be more lovable by the person you are trying to be loved by. That’s not love, that’s exhausting.” -Elyse Myers, one of my favorite Tiktokers. You deserve to be loved for who you genuinely are. I wish I’d read this when I was young. Would’ve saved me years of pain and frustration.


16-21



There are all kinds of parenting and mommy blogs with good resources. A quick Google search will get you started.


Infant



Practice making yourself do something you don’t feel like doing. Practice and it gets easier


10, 12, 15, 18, 21



Men worry about getting laughed at or rejected by a woman. Women worry about getting killed when they reject a man. Let that sink in.


15, 21



Just because someone is an a-hole it doesn’t mean they’re wrong.


17, 21



Get talking. Trade off likes, fears, hopes, dreams, pet peeves, etc. I like... I get mad when... I dream about... It makes me sad when I see... I’m afraid of... I wonder about...


4, 8, 14



Google Taylor Swift contrast Kim Kardashion at 2024 Superbowl. Good vibes are always better than “cool.” Show up. Dog park energy. Forget trying to look cool.


15, 17, 18, 21



Talk about what’s normal and what’s abnormal reactions to alcohol and drugs. Basically all kinds of feels from euphoria to paranoia to jealousy or infatuation, etc. Getting sick is normal but blacking out is not. *Anything that could interfere with breath or circulation is dangerous.


13, 15, 17



Parent the way you want your children to behave. Compassion, patience. Loving.


1, 2, 3, 4



You don’t have to be friends with people you don’t like. But you can’t decide you don’t like someone unless you get to know them. (Rather than a look or a reputation or a difference, etc.)


10



Don’t be “too” sure of yourself. There’s always a chance you could be wrong, so be open to what others are saying and consider the possibility they could be right. They very easily could know stuff you don’t. Their experience could be a lot different from yours, so just be careful of insisting you’re right.


15, 21



Give books. Inscribe them. Just a line or two can turn a good book into a treasure. Great for any occasion.


17



No need to over communicate. Brief, simple succinct when conveying instructions or important information. Applies across the board personal/professional etc.


14, 17, 21



I did my best to guide you, but I’m sure there are many areas where my take is just not aligned with yours. That’s okay! Bunny please don’t feel any obligation to believe what I believe or take any advice, or continue any tradition mentioned in this Coda.


21



Sex is not an act, it’s a pool. Stay in the shallow end for as long as possible. Have fun. Be safe. Be respectful.


15



Encourage creativity, science and engineering: Make a craft station / work bench for projects. Fill it with all kinds of art supplies, engineering kits, tools, pegboard, etc. Stock safety equipment like goggles and make sure the area has good lighting. Lots of ideas on Pinterest, etc.


8



If you’re waiting on someone to change for the relationship to work, it’s not gonna work. Love ‘em or leave ‘em. But forget trying to change them. (Same works in reverse. If someone wants you to change something about yourself before they commit, don’t walk away…RUN!)


14, 18, 21