Behind every behavior is a need.


2, 3, 4, 13, 14



Do something that feeds your soul every day. Experience or create joy, even if just a small spark of it.


17



When someone hurts us or REALLY pisses us off... We have to pray for them. It’s hard to stay mad at someone you’re praying for.


8-18



Never open someone else's mail, or listen to their conversation, etc. If it's not your business to know, don't snoop.


14-21



“Praise in public. Discipline in private.” This is good advice for when you’re a parent and for when you’re a boss.


20



Listen to Celebrate Calm podcasts for help dealing with defiance.


4, 9, 15



90 seconds or less. No one wants to hear you talk for more than that. (In a personal setting like giving a toast.)


17, 21



You’re gonna want to quit, many times. Whether it’s a job, a marriage, a degree, a cause… whatever. I have no way of knowing whether or not you should quit, just know that feeling like you want to quit is normal when you hit a setback or disappointment, or rejection or betrayal. It doesn’t necessarily mean you’re going to feel that way forever. Sometimes it’s best to cut your losses, sometimes it’s better to stick it out. Treat yourself with patience and compassion while you consider what’s best.


14, 17, 21



I once asked my mom if my grandmother (her mother in law) was rich. Her reply: “No, but she likes to think she is.” I think she meant my grandmother spent money like she had plenty of it when she really did not. Can relate. I hope you do better!


14, 21



You don’t have to keep it together. Let the tears come. Feel the loss. The big feelings never last long, they are a storm you can weather. Then the sky is brighter afterwards. Grief is medicine when expressed, poison when suppressed.


19, 21



It's a skill to learn how to love people the way they need to be loved. I highly recommend reading the Five Love Languages.


18, 21



Anything can be an opportunity for you to grow if you approach it with the right mindset. “What can I learn” “How can I turn this into a way to advance my goals?” I know, it’s kinda corny but it’s true. Your attitude is everything.


8, 10, 14, 18, 21



Home is where people love you.


21



Let’s find an activity where you can work with your hands


11



Whatever you choose to do, do it well and there will always be a demand for you. (Quoting Adam Schiff from his book “Midnight in Washington.”


16



I’m not a tattoo person but I don’t rule it out entirely. Here’s my opinion about tattoos: I’m cool with anything you would do if you were the only person on earth. Not to gain attention, acceptance or affection. Not for the approval of anyone else. No performative tattoos, okay?


16, 17, 18, 21



Educate yourself. You can't solve a problem if you don't understand it.


14-21



Golf lessons this year. Your grandpa loved golf. He tried to teach me when he first got sick, and those are some of my best memories of him. Great way to get fresh air and exercise too.


11



Grandpa didn’t drink coffee, but when he was in Korea he used to drink it just so he could hold the cup and keep his hands warm. (During the Korean War be enlisted in the Marines with a bunch of his buddies right after high school.)


14, 21



Reinforce this at every opportunity: “You matter.” Kids respond to this message deeply, whether it comes from a positive source (parents/teacher/coach) or people who are only trying to exploit them.


2-18



ALWAYS pee before you sit down to nurse a baby.


Infant-1



“If you don’t know what hurts me, how can you say you love me?” From a story told by Rabbi Levi Yitzhak ....Do you know what causes him pain or anxiety? What he’s afraid of? In an age-appropriate way....Talk about our fears and the things that hurt us. He will see it’s normal to have fear and pain, and he will learn he can come to me with anything that troubles him.


8



Visit Aunt Janet in Morehead City for Seafood Festival in October


2-99



Don’t be a dick.


21



Make a Shutterfly book for each year and give it to them on their birthday.


5-18



Marry your hero.


21



"You think your pain and your heartbreak are unprecedented in the history of the world, but then you read." ~ James Baldwin


14, 19



The version of you that will handle whatever problem comes your way will be born into existence in the moment when it happens. Trust your future self to handle future challenges.


12, 15, 21



We do what we do and feel how we feel because we think what we think. Our thoughts are so powerful. Let’s take each one captive today and be sure they’re the kind of thoughts we want guiding and influencing the way we live our lives.” -Lysa TerKeurst


14



People don’t abandon people they love, they abandon people they’re using.


19, 21