“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.” - Maya Angelou
12, 15, 21
“You’ll never be alone when you carry a poet in your pocket.” - John Adams Bring a book with you wherever you go.
12, 19
Listen to books of love letters. I forget the title but one of the Bush twins wrote a book about her grandparents (George and Barbara). Stories about real love, real life. Fiction is great too but having a real world examples of happy partnerships is gold.
18
When something is upsetting you...Name it...Take a deep breath...Imagine holding it gently in your hands. (This is a reminder to use this visualization myself and to teach it to you. I want to give you as many tools as I can to help you learn to cope with negative emotions in a healthy way.)
11
There will be many times in your life you feel powerless. What makes you feel powerful? For me, it's a good run, listening to good music with the volume on high. Prayer reminds me I'm connected to God, who is powerful beyond all measure.
14-17
“It’s okay to be sad. It’s okay to grieve. Because you can also live your life, and love your life, and be happy too.” Excellent advice from 9/11 survivor.
12, 15, 19
Teach them what to do if they hit an animal while driving on the road. (First find out what you’re supposed to do, THEN teach them.)
16
Life isn’t a straight line, it’s so much more complex than that! Good things, bad things, boring or interesting things are all always happening. And always changing. So are you. And that’s good.
17, 21
Your spouse will be absolutely unbearable roughly 10% of the time. So will you be, by the way. Give grace. Receive it too. Also, physical distance helps, even for a few hours.
21
It's natural to avoid change. Try to learn to accept change, embrace it if you can! Change is good. :)
15
This Coda is my creation. It’s what I wanted to accomplish as a parent. What you do with it is entirely up to you. I hope you never feel like you have to do the same. Make your own way. Make yourself proud. If you’re happy, I’m happy.
21
Practice having difficult conversations. There’s no way to get around being on the giving or receiving end of unpleasant news such as breakups, firings, news of a loved one’s passing, etc. You need to get good at having hard conversations, or else you’ll end up in jobs and relationships you don’t want to be in.
15, 21
Difficult conversations are…difficult. If you have to deliver bad news, don’t beat around the bush but prepare them for what’s coming rather than just blurting it out. “I have some news that’s going to be difficult to hear…” Or “Is this a good time to talk?” Those are just a couple examples, but many more are available. Look it up or ask people who routinely have to give bad news.
20
Participate in an exchange program - either through hosting or traveling yourself & immerse yourself in the new culture
17
Never consent to a search. Ask if it’s required. If not, no search. If yes, ask for your lawyer.
17, 21
You’ll be finished with school soon. The most important thing I hope you learned is that there is still so much yet to learn.
21
Drills (Writing pages of lines, grammar games,etc) Contractions, pronouns, commonly misspelled words, homophones like their and they’re, etc.) Drill drill drill! Written communication is so important and a simple mistake could cost big points at work.)
12
We can disagree with people and still be respectful of them. (When what they espouse is something that hurts people, that’s where you can draw the line.)
16
People are insecure. Be mindful of fragile egos (we all have them to a degree.) Avoid implying that people aren't doing a good job.
20
The more books you read, the better. Carve out time without screens and read every day.
8, 10, 12, 14, 16, 21