Learn to tie knots.


10



I just want to to know that I didn’t know what the $@!#% I was doing. It’s a miracle you turned out so beautifully! Just know you don’t have to have it all figured out. You’re going to have a wonderful life. xoxo - Mom


21



“Human beings are linked, not ranked.” - Gloria Steinem (f*ck the patriarchy)


15



Check out Travel for Teens for summer travel programs. Let them choose from themes like service, adventure, animal rescue, etc.


14



Keep your pants on until you (and your partner) are at least 18. Keep your pants on if you or your partner are drunk. Keep your pants on if you or your partner are not 100% enthusiastic about going farther.


15



Focus on being interesting (and genuinely interested) rather than focusing on being popular.


11, 13, 17, 21



Set up a dog agility course in the backyard. Use household items or toys, etc and lots of dog treats for training.


8



You don’t have to choose to be single forever to enjoy being single for now.


17, 21



Be intentional. You don’t get to choose what they remember.


1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10



Sometimes you can be so angry you don’t know what to do with yourself. It’s like being forced to keep your hand on a hot stove, trying to get through one minute at a time, one even one breath at a time. But there’s no need to white-knuckle it. The rage you feel is demanding to be acknowledged and validated. It needs to be processed, not ignored, stuffed down inside. A short list of some outlets for rage that’s begging to be heard are: art, music, physical activity, time in nature, anything creative or expressive. Baking, writing, improv, storytelling, stand up. Maybe try challenging yourself to do something difficult, something doable but you would have never thought you could do, like run a marathon, etc. Literally talk to the rage. Name it. Is it male or female? Young or old? Is it human or animal or alien, etc? Giving Rage a name, say for example Helen. Helen is a straight-up terrifying 8th grader. She has a few things she’d like to unload about. Dialog it in your head. And when you’ve heard her out, Helen will leave peacefully, if not painlessly. What do you do with yourself when the rage is gone? Give yourself permission to start over. Always remember I love you. xoxo


14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 21



Writing is re-writing


15, 18



If it’s the right thing, if something needs to be done… Make yourself do it. You’re never going to “feel like it.” Practice daily with things big and / or small without complaining.


9, 12, 15, 21



The more you move, the happier you are.


10, 11, 13, 15, 18, 21



Here’s the thing: some whacky $@!#% is about to go down. The next few years will be interesting, awesome and awful all at once. We will rely on kind and respectful communication, have as much fun as we can, forgive often, learn to let go and trust, and learn to be trustworthy. If necessary we will seek the advice of experts and the counsel of loved ones. Shifts can happen fast, for the better or worse. It seems like the end of the world but it’s not. You’re stronger and braver than you know.


11, 12, 13



My mom used to proudly describe herself as an “Irish Catholic Democrat.” I think my dad voted for Reagan once but other than that we’re all pretty liberal.


18



You’ll be finished with school soon. The most important thing I hope you learned is that there is still so much yet to learn.


21



Birthday traditions: 1) Plant something every year. 2) Birthday interview on camera or voice recording.


5



Never any point in arguing with drunks or fools.


17



Writing is thinking.


14, 17. 21



You're about to come into a ton of energy and strength. It will seem like a lot to manage at first, but you'll get used to it and learn to use it constructively. Push your limits (within reason.) Challenge yourself.


13



“You don’t get what you deserve. You get what you negotiate.” - name escapes me


15, 19, 21



Healing takes time. You can't rush it. Whether it's your body, your mind or your heart that's hurting... you just have to let it heal in its own time. What you CAN do is to take good care of yourself: eat, rest, stay close to loved ones. Do things that bring you joy. Revel in the smallest steps forward. You'll heal, things will get better. Trust. Love. Serve. Live.


20



Behind every behavior is a need.


2, 3, 4, 13, 14



There is so much darkness in the world - keep pushing back against it every way you can. Be a force for good.


14, 16, 21



Never pretend o know what you don’t know. But you can bluff your way through a lot of interviews just by doing a 30 minute Google search. Research the company, the industry, its governing body, key terms, awards, criticism, etc. Check out their social media.


17, 19, 21



It’s hard to want something and not have it. Kids have to learn how to sit with that.


3-17



Gambling is designed to be seductive- Everything about casinos and online gambling sites is about getting you to hand over your cash. It’s a scam. Don’t fall for it!


15, 18



Home is where they love you.


13, 17, 21



Drunken shenanigans are part of life when you’re in college, etc. but it gets old fast. That kind of behavior as an adult is just sad. Drink responsibly. Don’t make an $@!#% out of yourself. I recommend this rule: Don’t have more than one drink at a work function.


21



Wintergreen snow sledding trip.


6