Behind every behavior is a need.


2, 3, 4, 13, 14



Never say anything behind someone's back that you wouldn't say to their face.


11, 14, 18



Conspiracy theories... Where do I begin? They’re pure sh*t. They are fueled by fear and ignorance, usually peddled by people who have an agenda.


12, 16



Never any point in arguing with drunks or fools.


17



People who have something to prove are dangerous to themselves and others. We are all worthy of love. Remember that.


11, 13, 17, 19, 21



Never open someone else's mail, or listen to their conversation, etc. If it's not your business to know, don't snoop.


14-21



Letting go hurts. There's no two ways about it. You just gotta feel it and get through it. Cry. Sweat it out. Sing, run, write, or just scrub floors. You will get through it, and you will be stronger and more compassionate.


14



If car breaks down, if at all possible, avoid pulling over on the highway. Get off the highway and pull to safety.


16



I hope you never abandon yourself to be loved or accepted by someone else. They’re not getting the real you and you’re missing out on the experience of being loved and accepted just as you are.


16,21



Don’t waste big money on little things. Be intentional about what you spend.


16, 21



When you see someone in military uniform, thank them for their service. Hold the door open for them, etc. If they are behind you in line at Starbucks, pay for their coffee. At the very least, look them in the eye and smile - they’ve made a tremendous sacrifice and you should acknowledge that.


12, 16, 21



Anger is the bodyguard of sadness.


12-15, 21



If you can’t afford to tip the server, you can’t afford to be there.


15



I did my best to guide you, but I’m sure there are many areas where my take is just not aligned with yours. That’s okay! Bunny please don’t feel any obligation to believe what I believe or take any advice, or continue any tradition mentioned in this Coda.


21



The Golden Rule is wrong. At least when it comes to relationships and especially when it comes to parenting. Instead of treating someone how you’d want to be treated, treat them how THEY’D want to be treated.__ Learn what THEY need to feel safe and loved, how THEY express big feelings like fear, anxiety, anger and frustration.___ Instead of assuming the friend/partner/child /coworker wants to be treated how you’d want to be, take the time to learn about them. Then when someone you love is in distress you can respond to them in the way they need. ___(Lesson learned from reading The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. Great book. A little preachy but push past that. )


1, 13, 19



Walk up the Washington monument. No elevator!


11



My biggest mistake was thinking that my life had to follow a singular path: college, marriage, kids, stay at home mom. I never imagined any other path: career, travel. I never questioned my assumptions. Never doubted that my way was the only path to happiness. It wouldn’t have occurred to my parents to teach me anything else, to encourage me to imagine a hundred different choices. But I’d like to encourage you. Take your talents, interests, passion, and potential out for a spin. See what sits right with you, where you feel most alive and most safe and most yourself. Feed your body, mind, heart and soul. I love you so much.


18, 21



I love the quote “The call towards authenticity is sacred” by Paula S. Williams I think it means that a few things: Being called. We are called by something higher to grow and stretch, to evolve. That evolution is a journey that should be undertaken with humility, compassion and love. To impede one’s quest to be authentic, be it our own or another’s, is a grave injustice and should be avoided at all cost.


13, 15, 21



Shelter, water, Fire, food. (Outdoor survival priorities.)


12, 17



The more you want, the less you get.


14, 16, 21



Mvzkhdkhd


19



Check in on your friends. Even the ones that seem fine.


14-21



1

Kindness is key. Practice being kind even when you don't feel like it. Let's all encourage each other to be kind always. (Or learn how to take a walk or go to our room when we just can't be kind in that moment.)


1-21



When you meet people in an intimidating situation, like a job interview, etc. An easy trick is to imagine them as they were in kindergarten. (Don't talk to them like they'r 5 year-olds! But relate to them on a human level. We're all human - filled with talents and fears and insecurities. No matter how "important" or "unimportant" our station is.


16-21



Before you quit your job - or leave your spouse, etc. consider that you may be suffering from anxiety or depression. We sometimes attribute outside things (or people) as the cause of feeling desperate for change. But sometimes it’s just that our brains are fogged with anxiety or depression. Help is life- changing.


21



Always hold the door open for the next person.


4-14



1

Don’t stay down too long.


16, 19, 21



“Take the risks. Make the big moves, even if they’re small moves. Forge ahead with your lives in any and every direction that moves you. I’m asking you to be fearless.” - Rebecca Pearson (character from NBC tv drama ‘This Is Us’)


21



It matters more “how” you go to college than “where” you go to college.


16



If you don’t have anything intelligent to say on a subject it’s fine (encouraged) to say nothing. Listen. Learn.


20