Wipe your kids’ tears when they’re sad. Smile with them when they are happy. Hold them close when they are scared. And let them see your tears, smiles, and fears too. This is how you teach them to be a human in this world.


6



No threats, not even jokingly.


15



You’ve been entrusted with so much. Think about how much of an honor that is, and how big a responsibility.


16, 18, 21



You will never have to hustle for your self-worth. You are worthy of love and respect simply because you exist. Same goes for every other human.


16



Things are rarely black and white. Most situations (and all people) are complex. A nuanced approach is necessary to understand them. You can’t learn - or love, if you’re judging.


17



Take the family on periodic “spending fasts.” As an exercise, go a day, a weekend or a week without spending any money. Make due with what you have. Encourage participation. Tie in spending fasts with holidays, lent or in support of a cause.


7



Put together a PowerPoint project outlining addiction: substance, gambling, shopping, hoarding, eating, etc. Have them so the research and put it together. Discuss. Reward its completion with a fun activity or trip.


15



You have to be in a good place to be able to make good choices. If you’re run-down, sick, grieving, addicted or in a really bad relationship, etc. you won’t be able to make healthy choices. It’s a catch 22 I know. My point is that you have to take care of yourself (or get help) so you can be in a position to make healthy, good choices.


17, 21



The opposite of addiction is connection. Genuine connection can take lots of forms.


14, 17, 19, 21



Happiness: Someone (or some creature) to love, something to do and something to hope for. Don’t get too caught up in the rat race, money doesn’t mean you’ve arrived.


20



Drills (Writing pages of lines, grammar games,etc) Contractions, pronouns, commonly misspelled words, homophones like their and they’re, etc.) Drill drill drill! Written communication is so important and a simple mistake could cost big points at work.)


12



Sometimes you don’t know what to do, can’t figure out what’s the right direction for you. That’s okay. Try thinking about what you *don’t* want to do. (See John Cusack career plans speech in 1989 movie “Say Anything.”


11, 16, 19, 21



Make “good trouble” as Rep. John Lewis said. Justice is won, not given.


14, 19



It’s okay to feel jealous. Totally normal, totally human. Just never act on jealousy.


12, 14, 16, 19, 21



You gotta play with them. Down on the floor, at the park, in the water, in the snow. Connect through play, it will be the foundation of your relationship.


1-4



“It’s alright to be yourself. There ARE people in this world who will love you.” -Fred Rogers


12, 14, 17, 21



Watch film “Radio” (2003) and talk about being brave. Teach them that doing what’s right takes courage.


8



The Language of the Universe: A Visual Exploration of Mathematics https://www.amazon.com/dp/1536215058/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_R83V51QC1RGYVEZ4ESMQ


8



“You belong in every room you enter.” - Shonda Rhymes


6-21



Look into summer jobs at national parks.


15, 17



Read up on the adolescent brain.


11, 13



To my boys: Personally I believe the boy / man should pay when out on a date. Always be prepared to pay - but sometimes a girl / woman wants to pay or split the check. Don’t push back on that. Make sure she knows it would be your pleasure to pay because you want to show her a good time and spoil her, but that you understand that paying a check doesn’t put her in your debt. Instead, your motto should be “If you’re comfortable, I’m comfortable.” And that goes for a lot of categories including sex/ physical contact. And to my girls: Always be prepared to pay, offer to pay often. It’s a sad fact that some men feel they’re owed something if they spring for dinner. On a date you are never obligated to do or say anything you don’t want to. Never.


16, 21



No one knows what they’re doing. Just be kind and brave and curious. You don’t have to have it figured out.


17



Anger is the bodyguard of sadness.


12-15, 21



“It’s not as important how a message is received compared to how it is sent.” Sometimes you have to have uncomfortable conversations but the can always be kind and loving. Sometimes your message won’t land well, but if you expressed yourself truthfully and kindly, that’s not your burden to bear.


16



Practice road-rage roll playing. People are NUTS! It's hard to imagine how you'll react when someone gets aggressive with you. Let's practice staying calm when someone is shouting and in your face.


15-17



“Tell me something you want to be when you grow up.”


5, 8



Intimacy is a feeling of safety. To let yourself be seen, touched, known, without defenses.


17, 21



Favorite bible verse: Psalm 143:8 “Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have placed my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life.”


15



“Things are not perfect, because life is not TV and we are real people with scarred, worried hearts. But it’s amazing a lot of the time.” - Anne Lamott


14