IMPORTANT: If you borrow money from someone pay it back as soon as possible. In full. If you borrow an item, return it in excellent condition. I’d say if you borrow a car, return it with a full tank of gas but hopefully by the time you’re driving there won’t be any combustible engines. So return it fully charged!


12, 14, 16, 21



Stage one relationship: first few dates. Stage two, you really like them. Stage three, you love them and are exclusive. Stage four: you commit to building a future together. You’re going to have many stage one and two relationships. Probably a few stage three, and if you’re lucky you’ll have one or two stage fours.


14, 17, 21



Take out your aggression on inanimate things, never on people or animals.


9



Let it go. They’re going to make really stupid choices. I drank AND smoked in high school. We all go through it. They need to be able to trust you and rely on you. They’re navigating the world and they need a safe harbor. Be that safe harbor. It’s more important than fighting over stupid behavior. Let them know you don’t approve - sure, but fighting over stupid stuff is just going to make you both bitter.


14, 15, 16, 17



Violent thunderstorms can be dangerous. Avoid driving or being out in severe weather: car accidents, downed trees, high winds, lightning, flash floods, etc. are all potentially just don’t take your safety for granted if the weather is severe, stay sheltered unless you absolutely positively have to be out and about.


12-14, 16, 21



“Be curious. Read. Use the latest tools available to you.” - Bill Gates when asked for his advice to young people in the dawn of AI era.


12, 14, 16, 18



Be mindful of privilege. Discuss the concept, point it out where you see it.


11-18



1

Kids who are a little different (maybe they make funny sounds, look different, or aren’t able to talk or walk very well, etc.) Remember that just because they might be different, they are never “less than.” Their feelings matter as much as yours. They like to play as much as you. Their families love them as much as your family loves you. Include them as much as you can. You could end up making a great friend!


6



Try not to say insulting or hurtful things, but NEVER write them. (Texts, notes, emails, etc.)


11



One regret I have is how sure I was that I was in the right. Looking back I can see now that there were plenty of times when I was the a-hole. I wish I had been able to be circumspect.


14, 17, 21



“Open your eyes and see what you can, until they close forever.” - All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Dorr. See the world! Learn science, appreciate art and books, meet people and be genuinely interested in them. Engage in the fight for justice, resist fascism and dictators. Share what you have and who you are. Putting up walls is a waste of time. Yes, there will be pain. But you will be able to face it with grace, grit, courage and with the love of others. Make love! But remember if they’re too drunk to drive, they’re too drunk to consent. And be sure you’re both on the same page so you can avoid misunderstandings and hurt feelings (yours and theirs). Don’t kiss and tell. Be protective but never possessive. Just be a man, you know? (man/woman/grownup human.) Be safe - $@!#% is forever.


15, 16, 17, 18, 21



One of the most important things I can teach you is to help you learn how to deal with big feelings without resorting to destructive behavior or violence. Everyone on the planet will experience loss, disappointment, grief, heartbreak, betrayal, etc. Tools to deal with these feelings: counseling, journaling, art, music, exercise, meditation, breathing exercises, yoga, being in nature, talking with friends, joining a support group, movement like dancing or skating, singing, acting, anthropomorphic dialogue with your emotions, naming your emotions and describe how they physically feel in your body. Asking the emotion what it needs you to know.


1Infant-20



Jon Stewart talking about Bruce Springsteen at Kennedy Center Honors: “I didn’t understand his music for a long time. I didn’t understand it until I learned what it is to yearn.” That’s why art hits you differently at different ages. You filter the art through the lens of your life experience.


15, 21



It’s okay to feel jealous. Totally normal, totally human. Just never act on jealousy.


12, 14, 16, 19, 21



Stuff will happen and you’ll think “I can’t get through this. I can’t go on.” In the moment it really feels that way. But ...You will survive. You’ll find a way. Never give up on yourself. I never will.


17



1

Mackinac Island trip


10



Sponsor a child in a developing country. Write letters, learn about their country and their life.


8



Change “I need to” to “this matters because”. Instead of “I need to walk the dog” say “it matters that I walk the dog because he needs exercise and to check p-mail.” (Helps!)


8, 11, 16, 21



Don't say anything out loud that you wouldn't want repeated or overheard. Don't email / text, etc. anything that you wouldn't want forwarded.


11-15



Teach him what to do and how to act if he gets pulled over.


16



Writing is re-writing


15, 18



When you’re getting serious in a relationship here’s something to consider- To what extent is your partner is willing to put others’ needs before their own?


21



Re-Read Tim Russert's Big Russ and Me.


14



Show up. Be there when people are counting on you. Be at the celebrations and the funerals. Be at work and school when you're supposed to be.


12-19



Don’t ask for anything until you’ve done what has been asked of you.


5



Learn to recognize invitations from the Lord - invitations to look at beauty. Invitations for compassion, for learning and for love.


9-15



Behind every behavior is a need.


2, 3, 4, 13, 14



You gotta play with them. Down on the floor, at the park, in the water, in the snow. Connect through play, it will be the foundation of your relationship.


1-4