“If you want to be holy, be kind”. -Frederick Buechner


14, 19, 21



Sometimes you just have to let go. Let go of a relationship, or a dream, or plans. Let go of a person, a pet, or an object. It's hard. It takes a lot of trust. Trust the Lord will heal the wound, no matter how deep. His goodness is infinite.


16



IMPORTANT: If you borrow money from someone pay it back as soon as possible. In full. If you borrow an item, return it in excellent condition. I’d say if you borrow a car, return it with a full tank of gas but hopefully by the time you’re driving there won’t be any combustible engines. So return it fully charged!


12, 14, 16, 21



Talk about how to act respectfully and be inclusive of children with disabilities and facial deformities, etc.


5-10



Talk about how choices become habits. Habits can become addictions. Describe how pathways are literally dug into the brain and it's very hard to change them once those paths are made.


13-16



2

Grandpa always said everything boils down to how you treat people. Always treating people with kindness and respect is the most important lesson he wanted to get across to us.


12-21



Guard your health and fitness as if it were your most valuable possession. (It is.)


14, 17, 21



Soap and water go a long way towards fixing many problems.


12, 19



Figure out a way to teach the concept of zero-sum game vs. how giving and sharing actually compounds love and goodness. Someone else getting a fair shake, or attention from someone you like, or well-earned rewards or recognition does not take away from us. Celebrate those victories and encourage others to reach for more instead of jealously guarding what you have.


8-12



You have to be in a good place to be able to make good choices. If you’re run-down, sick, grieving, addicted or in a really bad relationship, etc. you won’t be able to make healthy choices. It’s a catch 22 I know. My point is that you have to take care of yourself (or get help) so you can be in a position to make healthy, good choices.


17, 21



Hike Jones Run Falls at Shenandoah National Park.


11



You’re getting stronger by the day. Use your strength to protect, never to intimidate. Abusers and bullies are cowards and just the worst of men.


14, 17, 21



Go on a cruise


12-15



Great career advice from tv producer Tara Schuster: Be the best at the worst job. You’re a lowly intern, you’re not gonna get asked to sit down with the boss and strategize. But say the boss likes coffee, and the office coffee machine is unreliable. Fix the machine. Keep it in tip-top condition. Make a contribution to the company in small ways, consistent with your level of ability (which at this age is low low low. NO ONE likes a 20-something who thinks he/ she knows it all. Or knows anything really.) Listen, learn, anticipate needs and surpass expectations doing the little things. Be polite, kind, ethical. Be on time (early.) Yes, compete but also help others look good and succeed. NEVER never trash-talk a colleague, client, boss or subordinate. Don’t suck-up either. Mostly just listen, work, make yourself useful wherever you can. And have fun. You’re gonna do great, bunny.


18, 20



Reinforce this at every opportunity: “You matter.” Kids respond to this message deeply, whether it comes from a positive source (parents/teacher/coach) or people who are only trying to exploit them.


2-18



Sojourner Truth's "Ain't I a Woman" speech.


10



Read “Lighter” by Yung Pueblo. Read it every year.


17, 19, 21



Spend time with people you admire. Real-life acquaintances, biographies and documentaries, and fictional characters in novels, plays and movies.


13, 15, 18, 21



If you’re waiting on someone to change for the relationship to work, it’s not gonna work. Love ‘em or leave ‘em. But forget trying to change them. (Same works in reverse. If someone wants you to change something about yourself before they commit, don’t walk away…RUN!)


14, 18, 21



At the start of a day / project / interview / date / etc. Do this one simple thing: State your intention. How do you want to carry yourself? What is the goal for the outcome? Just take a moment to imagine how you want to behave, react, appear, etc. What impression do you want to leave with the people you interact with? Of those things that are in your control, what outcome would make you proud?


15, 20



Make an album Or Shutterfly book about Mom and Dad’s wedding and marriage. Stress themes of love, kindness, sacrifice, shared values and putting the other first. Talk about managing conflict in a loving relationship doesn’t mean never fighting but it does mean fighting fair. Make it an annual tradition to read through it and talk about marriage on their anniversary. (The next best thing to modeling a happy marriage.


9



If you feel like you can’t get your act together, that you’re less mature than some others your age, I have the recipe for being a grown up: Read, travel, help those in need. READ everything you can get your hands on: books, audio books, newspapers, etc. Travel to places that are different than your experience. Keep a lookout for people (or animals, or groups or causes, etc) who are struggling. HELP those in need.


12, 14, 16, 19, 21



May you make yourself proud every day. That’s my wish for you. (I will always be proud of you.) xoxo


9, 14, 21



“You will encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated.” -Maya Angelou


17



Be thankful for opportunities to be of service. It means God is trusting you to help.


8-14



Harm springs from excess.


12



Never give unsolicited advice. Instead ask “How can I best support you?”


14, 20



Remember that whoever you’re grieving would only want the best for you.


20



People always say “Be yourself.” That’s good advice but really what does it mean? I think it’s easier to explain what it DOESN’T mean: When you’re being yourself you’re not pretending to be interested in something or someone you’re not. You’re not doing something just to please someone else (or just to tick them off.) You’re not wearing anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. You’re not pretending to have fun when you’re not having fun. You’re not trying to impress anyone. You’re not trying to fade into the background. You’re not trying to change anything about yourself or someone else. I think that’s a good start. What does “being yourself” mean to you?


11-14, 18, 21



Whatever you choose to do, do it well and there will always be a demand for you. (Quoting Adam Schiff from his book “Midnight in Washington.”


16