Enroll in a CPR course. Re-certify every year.


13



Never give unsolicited advice. Instead ask “How can I best support you?”


14, 20



“If you can’t figure something out, figure out how to figure it out.” - Paul Graham


18



Consent is more than the literal


13, 14, 15, 16, 21



Just love them. With all your might, them for who they are, and where they are. Forget about the other stuff.


15



It's a skill to learn how to love people the way they need to be loved. I highly recommend reading the Five Love Languages.


18, 21



Sometimes progress is slow - Keep working. Sometimes change is swift - hang on!


16



Never consent to a search. Ask if it’s required. If not, no search. If yes, ask for your lawyer.


17, 21



Kids (and people of all ages) need attention, affection and appreciation. It’s not all they need, but it’s a start!


11



Put together a PowerPoint project outlining addiction: substance, gambling, shopping, hoarding, eating, etc. Have them so the research and put it together. Discuss. Reward its completion with a fun activity or trip.


15



Love then when they least deserve it because that’s when the need it the most.


3, 13, 17



“Bullies are scared people hiding inside scary people.” -Michelle Obama


8-12



Open a Bank Account


8-12



Major life events such as the birth of a baby, graduations, new job, (lost job) are a big deal. Make a fuss. Take an interest in loved ones’ experiences. Acknowledge their feelings. Express a sincere interest in others (young and old) will profoundly affect your relationships.


15, 19



Some relationships (or jobs) are f*cked, and cannot be unf*cked. Release them and move on.


21



Begin to teach self-policing. There are plenty of good things that I want them to be able to partake in (alcohol, a trip to Vegas, etc.) but alcohol and gambling are just a few of the things that can sneak up and take hold and RUIN your life if you don’t know how to self-limit. Respect the potential danger and be vigilant. keep re-ticketing and repeat yearly (age-appropriate)


11



Learn how to quiet your demons / that voice that tells you you’re not good enough. Great resource is Dan Harris’ 2022 TED talk.


14, 19, 21



Create tech-free zones and times.


10, 11, 12, 13, 19, 21



Never any point in arguing with drunks or fools.


17



Quoting Sarah Bessel: “One of the best things Jen Hatmaker has taught me about raising big kids: if they get on the roller coaster of Big Emotions, my main first job is to stay on the platform. I am NOT to get in the car and ride up


12



None of us should ever have to apologize for being who we are.


10, 14, 21



People learn all sorts of different ways. I found I learn best by repetition (drills) especially true for skills. And by listening for studying. Recording my lectures in college made a huge difference in my ability to learn and retain material. Let’s find what works for you.


14, 17



Stuff is gonna happen! They will make incredibly stupid choices and get into all kinds of trouble. Take a beat. Be radically merciful. THAT is what they’ll remember and that is the lesson they’ll learn.


12-21



Home is where people love you.


21



If you get comfortable telling little lies it will be easier to tell big lies. Tell the truth, even on small matters. (Except if your friends ask if they look fat. Then it’s okay to lie!)


13, 18, 21



Plan a few screen-free weekends every year. (Reticket until 16.)


7



Be mindful of privilege. Discuss the concept, point it out where you see it.


11-18



1

Self-care is active not passive. (Zoning-out on the couch or sleeping all day isn’t self-care.)


13, 15



Resist the urge to give unsolicited advice. Wait…this entire thing is unsolicited advice!


15