Hand out tulip bulbs (or some sort of bulbs) at my funeral and ask people to plant a few in their yard. But NOT daffodils. I hate daffodils. And lilies, hate ‘em.) So tulips then.
Try silence. Just sit with it (problem/feeling/etc.) invite the problem to sit next to you and just be quiet. Five minutes every day for a week or two. Your solution will appear. Stop running and just sit with it.
Your great-great grandmother was a seamstress at Marshall Fields. Her husband was a firefighter in Chicago. The immigrated from County Wexford in Ireland.
Porn: I wish I could keep you away from it entirely but at least I will prepare you.
It’s normal to be curious, etc. but like anything else, it can get to be too much and can be very harmful, especially to a very young person. It can disrupt your healthy sexuality, ruin your relationships and even your career (no porn at work!)
Also keep in mind it is a business designed to make money, not to be realistic. That's not the way sex looks. Also the women are NOT enjoying themselves.
So try to avoid it, but at least keep it to a minimum!
You can’t selectively numb feelings. The inclination to drink, use, shop, gamble, etc. is real but it’s a lie that it will make you feel better. Numbing makes this much, much worse. So feel! The good, the bad, the scary. Talk about your feelings, write about them or create something from your feelings. This is how to process in a healthy way.
I love that you got chills from watching Wicked. You were 10 and already affected emotionally and physically by music. Bonus points for listening to and acknowledging how your body talks to you.
Teach them to clean the bathroom. Wipe down surfaces, clean mirrors, etc. It’s their job to keep it tidy. Everybody pitches in to keep up with housework.
Tragedy may occur in your life, but it does not need to define your life. YOU get to do that...through the choices you make. _______I know you’ll make good ones. xo
“Where you stand depends on where you sit.” It means your personal situation informs your stance on issues. Try to imagine how you’d vote if you were sitting at a less privileged place.
Yes, you’re beautiful. But that’s not ALL you are. And it isn’t all that’s expected of you. Surely you could “get by” on your looks. Is that what you want for yourself?
Work towards your goal. If you screw-up, fix it. The worst thing you could do is give up just because you made a mistake. Nobody’s perfect. Keep going!
If you want to know what girls like, read the books they’re reading, watch the shows they watch, etc. Porn is entertainment *not* education. Movies books and shows marketed to 12 year-old boys get it wrong most of the time, can’t learn anything from them. Chick flicks is where you’ll find a little instruction on how to flirt in a non-creepy way, how to kiss, how to be in a healthy relationship. Study the difference between the male gaze vs female gaze.
We all have dark thoughts and moods every once in a while. That’s part of being human. But any sustained ideation or inclination to hurt yourself or someone else is a red flag and needs mental health intervention.
Practice “doing without” (or “going without.”). Even young kids can learn the concept. Nobody get everything they want. Sometimes it’s harder than others, but it’s not the end of the world when we have to do without something we want.
People learn all sorts of different ways. I found I learn best by repetition (drills) especially true for skills. And by listening for studying. Recording my lectures in college made a huge difference in my ability to learn and retain material. Let’s find what works for you.