Date all kinds but marry someone who loves you for who you are, with whom you feel most yourself. Someone who will encourage you to grow more into the person you want to be. (And be good at encouraging them to do same.) Never fear or stifle each other’s growth. Celebrate it. Support it. Encourage it.
21
Repeat after me: “I am beautiful I am loved I am safe I am free. I don’t need to be like them I just need to be like me.”
7, 8, 9, 13, 16
Sit down together and write house rules on anger. We don’t hit or bite. Do we yell and slam doors? Name-call? Say “I don’t love you” ? Bad words? What’s appropriate anger and what’s unacceptable?
4-6
Clip nails after bath. It’s easier to do when they’re softer. (Teach them the same thing when they’re old enough to do it for themselves.)
1, 10
Spend 20 minutes a day watching a show you like in Spanish (or whatever your target language is) with reactionary subtitles. You’ll pick it up in no time!
13, 16, 19
Kitchen Commandment: She who cooks the dinner shall not clean up from dinner. I don't want to raise any of you to take housework for granted. It's hard. It's unfair and not cool to expect anyone (parent, spouse, roommate, etc. )to wait on you.
7-18
An album is like a book, meant to be taken as a whole. It tells a story, has its own vibe. Let’s listen to an album together every week.
12
You may lose a relationship but you keep the love. It becomes a part of you. It changes you for the better.
15, 19, 21
Keep a pair of nail clippers in the car - much better lighting outside. Clipping tiny fingernails is terrifying!
Infant-1
Getting dumped from a bad relationship or fired from a job that’s killing you is kind of like pooping your pants: Horrifying...but also a little bit of relief. Keep your perspective and you’ll be fine. xoxo.
20
Read the Hobbit aloud with him. Afterward, encourage him to read The Lord of the Rings by himself.
9
Learn to recognize invitations from the Lord - invitations to look at beauty. Invitations for compassion, for learning and for love.
9-15
Remember what a teenaged sh*t you were before throwing in the towel on the next generation. We’re all self-centered, entitled and oblivious when we’re young. The goal is that they don’t *stay* that way. Be the parent they need, and they’ll listen. It may take a year or twenty, but they’ll see the light if you just pour love into them.
12-21
Institute a “leave by” time instead of a curfew. That way they won’t panic / speed if something out of their control happens to make them late. “Leave Riley’s house by 10pm.”
13
Adopting a “do it right now” mentality has done wonders for my self-discipline. Something on the floor? Grab it right now. Thinking about cooking later? Cook right now. Laundry finished? Put them up right now. Home from a trip? Unpack right then. It’s the small things.
8, 9, 12, 17
Motivation: Just start. Two minutes. You don’t need to feel good to get going, you need to get going to give yourself a chance to feel good.
16
I’ve been trying to retrain my brain to deal with anxiety in healthy ways. It’s SO hard when these connections were fused decades ago. BUT I REFUSE to be a party to YOU laying down those same unhealthy neurological pathways. I’ll teach you better ways to handle stress and anxiety. Exercise/ Music/ warm showers/ creativity/ rest/ journaling/ meditation... WHATEVER! I promise to Somehow teach you what I never learned.
5-10, 14
Roll-play confrontational situations so they can practice staying calm, not reacting in situations like road-rage, bullies, being screamed at by a boss or a customer.
11, 15, 17