Check in on your friends. Even the ones that seem fine.


14-21



1

I get it. It’s exhausting when they’re little. But you will never be so needed or so loved as you are during these years.


2, 3, 4



Soap and water go a long way towards fixing many problems.


12, 19



“First the pain. Then the waiting. Then the rising.” Glennon Doyle


16, 21



“If you want to be beautiful, make beautiful choices.” - (Greek philosopher whose name I can’t remember.)


10, 13, 17, 21



On days when you wake up tired, sick or just not ready to deal with the morning, just get up and take a shower. Turn up the music. Rally!


17-21



Give him a copy of The Secret Lives of Great Composers by Elizabeth Lunday.


14



Adult whining is worse than kid whining! We all have unpleasant comments to say in every day life, but do your best to keep snarky comments to yourself. Be mindful of what you're putting out there.


12-16



Sex isn’t something you “score.” It’s not a competition. Whether the encounter is casual or within a committed relationship it’s something that is shared.


16, 19, 20



Sometimes grief looks a lot like anger. Are you upset about something you lost or had to let go of?


15, 21



When disciplining remember: First acknowledge the emotion, then address the behavior.


2-4, 13, 15



If you don’t have anything intelligent to say on a subject it’s fine (encouraged) to say nothing. Listen. Learn.


20



Discuss difference between foods that taste good vs. foods that make you FEEL good.


12-14



Dress to people will listen to you, not look at you. (This is especially true at school and work.)


15, 18, 21



1

“God is gentle and loving. He desires you to have a deep sense of safety in His love.” - paraphrasing Henri Nouwen


16



You can’t selectively numb feelings. The inclination to drink, use, shop, gamble, etc. is real but it’s a lie that it will make you feel better. Numbing makes this much, much worse. So feel! The good, the bad, the scary. Talk about your feelings, write about them or create something from your feelings. This is how to process in a healthy way.


16, 20



Forget perfection. Nothing is perfect. No relationship, job, house, or day is perfect. Let go of expectations, be open to the mess.


18



No matter how successful you become you’re still expected to act with integrity and respect.


14, 18, 21



My worst fear is that I will be unable to reach you when you’re in pain. All I want as a parent, what my whole job boils down to, is to be there when you need me. How can I help you?


13



Plants eat sunlight. Eat mostly plants.


14, 17, 21



Be teachable. If you walk around thinking you know it all, your career and relationships will suffer. Consider how much you have to learn and welcome any opportunity to learn. “Teach me” instead of “I don’t know.”


16



Gambling is a very tricky thing. It can get out of hand easily because of how the brain works. That initial “rush” of excitement starts to burn pathways, and causes chemical reactions that need to be fed more and more. Before you know it you’re gambling more often and with more money, trying to achieve that rush. Be very, very careful with gambling. Gambling casinos and online gaming know this and they exploit it to make TONS of money. It’s a scam. Avoid gambling all together or step away very early.


16, 18, 19, 21



Make “good trouble” as Rep. John Lewis said. Justice is won, not given.


14, 19



When they turn 18 they should have a will, a financial power of attorney and a medical PoA.


17,18



Processing an emotion means you’re not acting on it or avoiding it, you’re just with it. I like to picture it as a person and then imagine having a cup of coffee or a beer with it. Hope this helps you. xoxo


13, 16



Start something new and let yourself revel in being bad at it. Paint badly, dance badly, write badly, play badly. Keep at it, and don’t let yourself get discouraged. Eventually you’ll be good at it!


15, 21



Practice staying calm under pressure. The pop-up game “Perfection” is a fun way.


10, 12, 15, 17, 21



Having an opinion is not the same thing as having an informed opinion. If you don't know enough about a subject to speak intelligently about it, keep quiet and educate yourself.


12, 18