Intimacy is a feeling of safety. To let yourself be seen, touched, known, without defenses.


17, 21



“The more you sweat, the less you bleed.” True in boxing and in life. Put the work in. No shortcuts.


14, 18, 21



Kindness is magic.


11, 15, 21



Quoting Glennon Doyle: “Things can feel hard and sad and still be exactly right, all at the same time.” She’s referring to her divorce but the sentiment applies to all kinds of tough choices that we all make. Very few choices feel 100% right.


17



When someone hurts us or REALLY pisses us off... We have to pray for them. It’s hard to stay mad at someone you’re praying for.


8-18



When something is upsetting you...Name it...Take a deep breath...Imagine holding it gently in your hands. (This is a reminder to use this visualization myself and to teach it to you. I want to give you as many tools as I can to help you learn to cope with negative emotions in a healthy way.)


11



1

Don’t go to sleep on a full stomach.


10, 15, 17, 19



Here’s something I wish wasn’t true but is: Looks matter. This is true for anyone but 100x more so for a woman. Take care of yourself. Stay in good shape, eat well, wear sunscreen, dress well and be well-groomed. It shouldn’t matter but it does. (But try not to judge other people by their appearance- Often times the very best people (friends, spouses, job applicants, etc.) don’t look like movie stars. Far from it!) Yes, looks matter but I hope you value true beauty more.


12, 19



Put your purse, (wallet,bag, phone, or shoe) in the backseat with the baby. Unattended babies die every day and it’s my worst nightmare.


Infant-3, 21



Always clean from clean to dirty. Wash glassware first, greasy dishes last. Sink and tub first, then toilet. Then floor. Top-to bottom is another general rule.


13, 18



Check in on your friends. Even the ones that seem fine.


14-21



Talk to him about applying to Democracy Summer program started by Rep. J. Raskin.


18



Don’t stay down too long.


16, 19, 21



Stand up (or sit up) straight in photos. Don’t slouch or lean. (You can touch or be close but don’t lean in.)


12, 14, 21



Thomas Jefferson’s Ten Rules of Conduct. This makes a good exercise for penmanship or for writing “lines” as instructional punishment.


11



The only thing that matters is love. When we live with love - for God, for others and ourselves, that is what makes life worth living.


16



“You don’t emerge from $@!#% empty-handed” a friend once told me. Even the worst periods of your life will bring gifts. Be thankful for those gifts, and enjoy them.


19



Venting is crucial but not always appropriate. Make sure you’re in the right place (no chance whatsoever of being overheard), the right time (take care of business first) and that the person you’re unloading on has the mental bandwidth to listen to you vent your emotions. Avoid interrupting if they’re busy, or not in a good headspace. You’ll know this because you asked.


14, 17, 21



I wrestle with leaving the church but I want to save you a lifetime of feelings of unworthiness. It’s totally normal to feel like you’re not good enough. We all battle those kinds of insecurities, so the last thing we need is to be taught that God thinks it too. Know that in reality we are all precious, down to the subatomic level. So when you think you’re unworthy, shake it off! You belong in every room you enter.


13, 15, 21



Be yourself. No need to pretend to like something the crowd is doing. Half of them are probably just as unenthused as you are but are afraid to say so.


12, 15



Listen to The Moth (storytelling) together.


15



Let them borrow your calm. Little ones (grownups too) sometimes just need to freak out a bit. Stay there. Be near. Don’t judge or even help. Just be there, and stay calm. Your loving energy is all they need as they work through it themselves. Keep them safe but other than that don’t help or advise unless they ask.


2-6, 17, 21



Stay away from anything or anyone that denies or disparages a person’s humanity. (Or a group’s humanity.)


12-21



Be kind. Be brave.


5-10



Teach them to clean the bathroom. Wipe down surfaces, clean mirrors, etc. It’s their job to keep it tidy. Everybody pitches in to keep up with housework.


4-18



Not all babies are born healthy. There’s grief over that, a painful letting go of hopes and expectations, but eventually parents begin to dream different dreams for their baby. You have it within you to love deeply


21



Read Big Magic by Liz Gilbert. Re-read every 5-10 years.


19, 21



Find an activity / sport that they enjoy and support it. Get them outside and in the fresh air.


6-16