“ It was my high school drama teacher who made sure I knew there was space for me in this world. Her kind words had a tremendous impact on my life. If you don’t know where to begin, start with “I see you. I love you. I’m so happy you’re here.”   -Chasten Buttigieg


12



Never post a pic to social media that you wouldn't want Grandma to see. NEVER send or ask to receive naked pictures. It's tacky, gross, illegal and not worth it. Even if "everyone does it". It's rude and disrespectful.


11-13, 18



Go out of your way to part on good terms whenever possible, in all circumstances.


18



Your job is to help your kids find themselves, not to implant an agenda of your own.


1, 5, 10, 15, 20



Always clean from clean to dirty. Wash glassware first, greasy dishes last. Sink and tub first, then toilet. Then floor. Top-to bottom is another general rule.


13, 18



Most brilliant TED talk I ever saw on living authentically. Step one: decide what you don’t give a f*ck about. Step two: don’t give a f*ck about those things. Always be kind and polite but never be sorry for not giving a $@!#% about stuff you don’t give a $@!#% about.


14, 21



Long before I was old enough to decide what I wanted my life to be about, I was set on a path of other’s choosing: marriage, kids, Catholic. I took that assignment to heart. Focused like a laser beam. Ironically, I believe that it’s because marriage and a conventional family was my prime directive that I ended up becoming roadkill on that path. My point is twofold: don’t let me or anyone else tell you what your life should look like. Maybe college isn’t for you, maybe marriage isn’t something that appeals to you, maybe it is! Keep exploring until you find a direction that fits your own values and priorities. As long as you’re paying your bills and you’re not hurting anyone including yourself, knock yourself out! Go wild! Do whatever feels right. And if you don’t know where you want to be, go where you’re needed to start with. I love you forever no matter what you do.


17, 21



Explain what “On my honor” means.


8



Get book “Talk to Me First: Everything You Need to Know to Become Your Kids'Go-To Person about Sex.” by Deborah Roffman.


7



Check out teen life coach Coaching with Will.


13



I’m going to start you in Mathnasium or some other STEM (math) activity. Not because I want u to score high on your SAT but because I want You to be confident in your math skills you will use it every day and it will come in handy no matter what you choose to do for a living


7



Conspiracy theories... Where do I begin? They’re pure sh*t. They are fueled by fear and ignorance, usually peddled by people who have an agenda.


12, 16



Spend time with people you admire. Real-life acquaintances, biographies and documentaries, and fictional characters in novels, plays and movies.


13, 15, 18, 21



Institute a “leave by” time instead of a curfew. That way they won’t panic / speed if something out of their control happens to make them late. “Leave Riley’s house by 10pm.”


13



It's natural to avoid change. Try to learn to accept change, embrace it if you can! Change is good. :)


15



There is so much darkness in the world - keep pushing back against it every way you can. Be a force for good.


14, 16, 21



"Love is nothing more and nothing less than relentlessly showing up for your people." - Glennon Doyle


18-21



We are all incurably human.


5, 15, 21



You’ll miss me when I’m gone, but if I did my job right you won’t need me.


21



“First the pain. Then the waiting. Then the rising.” Glennon Doyle


16, 21



I highly recommend you read The Crane Wife by CJ Houser.


15, 17, 19, 21



Be kinder than necessary.


9, 15, 21



Big secret to happiness: Let other people talk sh*t about you. They have a right to an opinion and you have the right to ignore it. The only standards you have to live up to are your own.


12, 14, 17, 21



“First things first!” It’s a constant struggle to get out of the house or complete a task. Hammer home “first things first!” After they’re dressed (or whatever task) THEN they can have screen time or playtime free-time, etc.


4



Glennon Doyle described a conversation about explaining to a child what "sexy" means: “I think most people are confused about what 'sexy' means. Sexy is a grown-up word to describe a person who’s confident that she is already exactly who she was made to be. A sexy woman knows herself and she likes the way she looks, thinks, and feels. She doesn’t try to change to match anybody else. “And she knows how to use her words to tell people she trusts about what’s going on inside of her. When she’s angry, she expresses her anger in healthy ways. When she’s joyful, she does the same thing. “She doesn’t hide her true self because she’s not ashamed. She knows she’s just human—exactly how God made her and that’s good enough. She’s brave enough to be honest and kind enough to accept others when they’re honest. When two people are sexy enough to be brave and kind with each other, that’s love." (The quote is longer, Google to find the whole thing. Wise words on a tough subject.)


8



Conflict resolution tip: Are we talking about how we got here, or how we get out of here? Because those are two entirely different conversations.


14, 16, 20



Use timers to motivate and structure. "Better have your jammies on and teeth brushed by the time the timer goes off!" Using a simple timer helps things not drag on and on.


2-5



It’s not a project, it’s a practice. (Health, fitness, keeping up with current events, prayer or meditation, housework, reading, etc.)


16



Micro-internships. Check out Parker Dewey for ideas.


16, 17, 18