When I say I want you to be happy I’m not talking about pleasure and ease. I mean purpose and pride you in yourself, meaningful work, and a solid group of friends and family who loves you for who you are, so you don’t ever have to pretend to be something you’re not.


21



Great quote from a divorce coach: “Your life is bigger than one man.” Your life IS bigger than one relationship. Or one job.


16, 18, 21



IMPORTANT: If you borrow money from someone pay it back as soon as possible. In full. If you borrow an item, return it in excellent condition. I’d say if you borrow a car, return it with a full tank of gas but hopefully by the time you’re driving there won’t be any combustible engines. So return it fully charged!


12, 14, 16, 21



My favorite version of myself is when I’m not worried about what others think of me. I


11, 13, 15, 17, 21



Make a gift of Marcus Aurelius' Meditations.


15



You’ll be finished with school soon. The most important thing I hope you learned is that there is still so much yet to learn.


21



“It’s best if we don’t speak for a while.” Practice it


19, 21



If you have a goal, just dive in. It's okay if you mess up or fail. Start over, get help... but start.


13, 18, 21



Read Thanks for the Feedback by Heen and Stone. Crucial for ADHD and rejection sensitivity. Wish I had it when I was about to launch into my career!


15, 19, 21



Sex talk: “Forget about sex. Just play first.” Forget about making a move and just have fun. Dance, listen to music together, go somewhere exciting, look at something beautiful, read to each other, play sports, let yourself be seen and encourage them to do the same. Communicate in a hundred ways: talk/send texts/ post on social media, pass notes, whatever. “Sex isn’t the door to intimacy


15



“There’s a hole in the side of a boat. It can’t be fixed, it’s never going away, and you can’t get a new boat. This is your boat. What u have to do is bail water out faster than it’s coming in.” -Aaron Sorkin (Newsroom season 3 episode 6.)


17, 21



You are a miracle. Take good care of yourself: Mind, body and soul.


21



Be kind. Be brave.


5-10



Soap and water go a long way towards fixing many problems.


12, 19



Start a tradition of setting goals for Ne Year. Keep a notebook in with the Christmas ornaments and each year we all add in whatever we want to focus on: such as our resolutions, goals, hope or plans, etc. That will be something fun to do at the end of the year when we’re taking down the tree and putting away all the holiday stuff.


8



My favorite Chinese food order is chicken Kung Pao, shrimp fried rice and beef lo mein. That way we all get a little of each meat.


16



The version of you that will handle whatever problem comes your way will be born into existence in the moment when it happens. Trust your future self to handle future challenges.


12, 15, 21



When disciplining remember: First acknowledge the emotion, then address the behavior.


2-4, 13, 15



1

Brambly Hedge series by Jill Barklem.


2-5



Read Prefontaine.


13



“Life is good when you are happy, but much better when others are happy because of you.” -Pope Francis Endeavor to make people happy by the work you do, by the way you treat them, by your contributions to the world. But don’t ever try to make someone happy by changing yourself.


13, 17



Stuff will happen and you’ll think “I can’t get through this. I can’t go on.” In the moment it really feels that way. But ...You will survive. You’ll find a way. Never give up on yourself. I never will.


17



Offer gifts to the Lord. Maybe it's your school work, or your career, or the kid you raise, or your life in general. Wrap it up and make it a present to the Lord.


9-15



School shootings are a result of blind rage and complete hopelessness. First, ban the f*cking guns. But we need to teach our kids how to handle big emotions. To expect them, how learning to navigate them is like learning to fly an F16. It will be tough, yes but you will learn how to fly expertly, safely, and with your own style and flair.


12-15



Know the difference between an inconvenience and a tragedy. Hint: If it can be fixed with money or effort, it’s probably not a tragedy.


15, 20



"Surround yourself with people who trust and get YOU." - Josh Groban, High Point University 2018 commencement address. Note, I love that quote because it speaks to having a tribe, a close group of friends. But it's also important to surround yourself with people who challenge you, who may not agree with you or have the same perspective as you do.


14-19



I promise I will never snoop. No matter how curious I am, I will not violate your privacy. But if I ever think you may be in danger I will break any promise and any law I have to in order to keep you safe.


10, 12, 14, 15



When the poop hits the fan, that's when real discipleship begins.


15-18



Lookout for the girls when you’re in a group. Some boys will try to take advantage or straight up r@pe them. Your responsibility goes beyond avoiding harming anyone. Your male privilege is a perk…earn it. Protect girls from sketchy dudes. No big deal, just help when you can and then move along. Don’t expect a cookie.


14,15, 16, 17, 21