Change “I need to” to “this matters because”. Instead of “I need to walk the dog” say “it matters that I walk the dog because he needs exercise and to check p-mail.” (Helps!)
Major life events such as the birth of a baby, graduations, new job, (lost job) are a big deal. Make a fuss. Take an interest in loved ones’ experiences. Acknowledge their feelings. Express a sincere interest in others (young and old) will profoundly affect your relationships.
When you have no idea what you’re doing, just be kind. Be brave. Think critically and make the best decisions you can in the moment. If possible, find resources to learn what you need to know. Ask for help if help is available. Do your best and don’t sweat it.
I think the term “find myself” simply means figuring out how much of what you do/think/want/believe/care about/ feel is there because some parents, siblings, family — or institutions — or ad campaigns — or political party, or whatever put it there and fed it, vs. how much ch of all that you present to the world and to yourself, is genuine…The good, the bad, and the ugly? (Go find yourself! Tell the rest of us to F off!) xoxo
It’s hard to accept that the world can be so cruel and unfair, but sometimes accepting it and focusing on what part of it you CAN change is - I’ve learned - the key.
Beware of people that try and rial you up. Who benefits from what they’re saying? Are they trying to sell you something? Are they trying to scare you or appealing to other base emotions or prejudice? Are they qualified on the subject, or do they just have an opinion? Plenty of good, smart people get radicalized
Toddlers fall... a lot. Most falls are harmless but sometimes bad accidents happen. Head injuries are scary because they bleed and swell. If bleeding doesn't stop within a few minutes or you can see it's a big gash, head to the urgent care. And remember if the swelling goes out (“goose egg”) that’s a good thing: Better out than in.
If you’re waiting on someone to change for the relationship to work, it’s not gonna work. Love ‘em or leave ‘em. But forget trying to change them. (Same works in reverse. If someone wants you to change something about yourself before they commit, don’t walk away…RUN!)
Some things just don’t come easy. That’s the point. Practice working for what you want. Nothing is sweeter than when you accomplish something you set out to do. Go for it!
Practice having difficult conversations. There’s no way to get around being on the giving or receiving end of unpleasant news such as breakups, firings, news of a loved one’s passing, etc. You need to get good at having hard conversations, or else you’ll end up in jobs and relationships you don’t want to be in.
Crushes are fine but I beg you not to waste your time and energy obsessing about someone. Really it’s just a way to hide, to feel something without risking anything. F that. Turn your attention to something creative, constructive or productive. Make art, train for a race, volunteer or get a second job. Discover WHAT you love. Pursue that and your people will be there.