Try not to say insulting or hurtful things, but NEVER write them. (Texts, notes, emails, etc.)


11



You don’t have to lower your standards, just lower your walls.


12, 15, 21



You are always responsible for how you act, no matter what you’re feeling. (Or whether you’re drunk or in any way impaired.) Hammer this point home for the next 10 years!


13



Go as a family to local high school musical productions.


9-13



1

At the hospital? Always confirm your name and date of birth and why you’re there.


16



Practice being embarrassed. Tell embarrassing stories. Help them learn how to deal with the sensation.


9



I really want to see Totfino, BC. There’s no one I’d rather see it with than you. xoxo


20



Never allow anyone to tell you who you are.


17



Turn off main water line when you leave on vacation.


21



“All the best things in life live on the other side of fear.” - Will Smith’s grandmother.


20



Don’t take criticism from people you wouldn’t take advice from.


16



Kids (and people of all ages) need attention, affection and appreciation. It’s not all they need, but it’s a start!


11



“The Greatest Generation” by Tom Brokaw Listen to audio or read together


14



I just want to to know that I didn’t know what the $@!#% I was doing. It’s a miracle you turned out so beautifully! Just know you don’t have to have it all figured out. You’re going to have a wonderful life. xoxo - Mom


21



Read (or listen to) A Fragile Stone together.


15



Look into Space Camp for next year


8



I get it. It’s exhausting when they’re little. But you will never be so needed or so loved as you are during these years.


2, 3, 4



Adult whining is worse than kid whining! We all have unpleasant comments to say in every day life, but do your best to keep snarky comments to yourself. Be mindful of what you're putting out there.


12-16



When something is upsetting you...Name it...Take a deep breath...Imagine holding it gently in your hands. (This is a reminder to use this visualization myself and to teach it to you. I want to give you as many tools as I can to help you learn to cope with negative emotions in a healthy way.)


11



1

Build a treehouse together


8



My mom did laundry twice a week: Tuesdays and Saturdays. She separated colors! It never piled up and we all had clean clothes. I do laundry daily, it's never done and we can't find what we need. Ask Grandma what was her secret to the science of laundry. Because it's now your job to do all your own laundry!


14



Let them borrow your calm. Little ones (grownups too) sometimes just need to freak out a bit. Stay there. Be near. Don’t judge or even help. Just be there, and stay calm. Your loving energy is all they need as they work through it themselves. Keep them safe but other than that don’t help or advise unless they ask.


2-6, 17, 21



"Make yourself proud." Teach them to take pride in themselves - in their work, their behavior. Everything from a 3 year-old making her bed to a 10 year-old's homework. If they learn to keep going until they're satisfied it's done well, they won't need us to keep after them.


4



A useful opening line in a conversation (personal, parenting or professional) is “What should I know about ...”. It shows you understand you have something to learn, and it makes people feel valued. “What should I know about what’s going on at football practice?”


14



Practice your signature


13



Kindness + Confidence = secret to success and “popularity.”


10, 12, 13, 14, 15, 17, 18, 21



Sometimes I think the best way to take care of them is to teach them to take care of others: Littler kids, sick or disabled, those who’ve been left out.


5-7, 1Infant-12



Sex isn’t something you “score.” It’s not a competition. Whether the encounter is casual or within a committed relationship it’s something that is shared.


16, 19, 20



Read The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe together.


8



It’s okay to feel jealous. Totally normal, totally human. Just never act on jealousy.


12, 14, 16, 19, 21