You remember experiences, connections. Not stuff. Don’t get too caught up in stuff.


12, 15, 17, 21



Anger is the bodyguard of sadness.


12-15, 21



Never say anything behind someone's back that you wouldn't say to their face.


11, 14, 18



open your own business


20



Avoid commenting on the number of children someone has (or doesn’t have.) Its none of your business to ask why a couple doesn’t have kids or remark if they announce they’re pregnant with their 7th (other than to say “Congratulations.”)


15, 21



Seek / Accept job offers that teach you something valuable. Now isn’t the time in your life to worry about the money or status. Get experience! Have fun, learn, grow, challenge yourself and try new things.


15-20



I once asked my mom if my grandmother (her mother in law) was rich. Her reply: “No, but she likes to think she is.” I think she meant my grandmother spent money like she had plenty of it when she really did not. Can relate. I hope you do better!


14, 21



We don’t always get what we want. Sometimes we have to wait. Sometimes we go without it. Sometimes when we DO get what we wanted it looks different than how we imagined it would. AND IT’S OK. We’re ok. The world keeps turning! That’s a huge lesson and a valuable one. Practice “pushing the snooze button” on wants. Enlist their help. “I understand you want ____. Would this be something you could snooze or do without?”


5, 10, 20



Con-men (or women) appear perfect. They are good-looking, kind, flattering, etc. Most people are good. But be careful of those who seem to be too good.


15



Talk about how to speak up for themselves and others.


1Infant-12, 16, 21



Look into language school. Now is a good time to start learning Chinese, Spanish or Arabic.


5-8



Anyone who asks you to violate your values doesn’t deserve your allegiance.


16, 21



“It’s best if we don’t speak for a while.” Practice it


19, 21



Always hold the door open for the next person.


4-14



You’ve been entrusted with so much. Think about how much of an honor that is, and how big a responsibility.


16, 18, 21



If you don’t know where to begin, picture where you want it to end, and work it backwards.


15, 21



A Morning Offering by _____ (Excerpt) ...May my mind come alive today To the invisible geography That invites me to new frontiers, To break the dead shell of yesterdays, To risk being disturbed and changed. May I have the courage today To live the life that I would love, To postpone my dream no longer But do at last what I came here for And waste my heart on fear no more.“


19



Never do two illegal things at the same time. Don’t break the law while breaking the law.


16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21



First date going extremely well? Thinking u might score? Slow down. A woman always wants to feel like she’s worth waiting for.


20



I’d rather you be brave than perfect. Take chances. Fail, then pick yourself up and keep going.


18



“How we learn to hold what hurts shapes so much of who we are. What we choose to do with our pain defines us more than most things.“ -Chani Nicholas


11, 14, 17



Letting go isn’t something active. Rather, it’s something you stop doing. Stop hoping. Stop fooling yourself. Stop wishing things were different.


17, 21



Challenge yourself to excel at something. You’ll be astonished how good you can get by practicing consistently. There’s nothing magical about high school quarterbacks or drummers. Girls like boys who have something going on.


13, 14, 17



When you bring home a new baby, make sure your older kid(s) hear you talking to it the way you talk to them: “I’m sorry Baby I can’t hold you right now, I’m going to play with Sibling.” It makes it a lot easier to tell Siblings that you can’t give them attention right now because Baby needs you. Less resentment, etc.


2, 3, 4, 5



Enjoy your success but don’t flaunt it.


21



Grandpa used to keep a hundred dollar bill stashed discreetly in his wallet “for emergencies.”


17



If your partner doesn’t want to commit to you, it’s not a matter of convincing them. Even if you get them to walk down the aisle that’s not the problem. It’s not that they don’t want to get married, it’s that they don’t want to BE married to you. And that is not a problem that will go away even if you manage to “get” them to commit. Walk away or spend the rest of your life pulling them along. F that.


21



Sometimes procrastination is part of the process. Eventually though, doing the thing is easier than stressing over it or hiding from it.


10. 12, 15, 21



This Coda is my creation. It’s what I wanted to accomplish as a parent. What you do with it is entirely up to you. I hope you never feel like you have to do the same. Make your own way. Make yourself proud. If you’re happy, I’m happy.


21