If someone wants to leave you, let them. Don’t waste your energy trying to prove your worth to anyone.
14, 19, 21
Make sure they have resources other than us. Hotlines for teens such as Boys Town National Hotline, National $@!#% Prevention Lifeline, etc.
12
Read the Hobbit aloud with him. Afterward, encourage him to read The Lord of the Rings by himself.
9
Knowing something is right and application of it are two different things. To apply yourself takes discipline. Practice it.
15
No matter how successful you become you’re still expected to act with integrity and respect.
14, 18, 21
Talk about what patterns of abuse look like. Teach them to recognize red flags like love-bombing, isolating from friends and family, controlling behavior and threats of violence and/or self-harm.
14, 16, 20, 21
Give books. Inscribe them. Just a line or two can turn a good book into a treasure. Great for any occasion.
17
When someone suffers the loss of a loved one, don't shy away. Go to the service. Check in during the months following. Say the name of the person who died when you talk to them. Forward pictures of the loved one if you have any, share stories. There are exceptions to this, so always take your queue from the person who is grieving.
18
“You matter to me.” Is a beautiful way to express your feelings when a relationship is new.
15, 17, 21
The bull-sh*t never ends. Dealing with the bull-sh*t IS your job. If you think you’ll ever reach a “post-bullsh*t stage in your life, you’re wrong.
12, 15, 19, 21
Figure out a way to teach the concept of zero-sum game vs. how giving and sharing actually compounds love and goodness. Someone else getting a fair shake, or attention from someone you like, or well-earned rewards or recognition does not take away from us. Celebrate those victories and encourage others to reach for more instead of jealously guarding what you have.
8-12
“Open your eyes and see what you can, until they close forever.” - All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Dorr. See the world! Learn science, appreciate art and books, meet people and be genuinely interested in them. Engage in the fight for justice, resist fascism and dictators. Share what you have and who you are. Putting up walls is a waste of time. Yes, there will be pain. But you will be able to face it with grace, grit, courage and with the love of others. Make love! But remember if they’re too drunk to drive, they’re too drunk to consent. And be sure you’re both on the same page so you can avoid misunderstandings and hurt feelings (yours and theirs). Don’t kiss and tell. Be protective but never possessive. Just be a man, you know? (man/woman/grownup human.) Be safe - $@!#% is forever.
15, 16, 17, 18, 21
Let your toddler brush your teeth. Goes a long way to them letting you brush theirs and it gives them a sense of autonomy and control.
2,3,4
“It’s okay to be sad. It’s okay to grieve. Because you can also live your life, and love your life, and be happy too.” Excellent advice from 9/11 survivor.
12, 15, 19
Let’s talk about hungry kids. What can we do to help? Donate? Volunteer? Start a Little Free Pantry?
7-12
They’re not rejecting you, they’re just becoming who they are. Give them some space.
12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17
Begin planning trip for 10th bday. Maybe to Atlantis in Bahamas or someplace he’d be excited about._____Get him involved in planning and saving.
8
Choose to love despite the rage. See poem by Lucas Jones “ I Will Teach My Sons to be Dangerous Men.”
12, 14, 16, 19, 21