Not all babies are born healthy. There’s grief over that, a painful letting go of hopes and expectations, but eventually parents begin to dream different dreams for their baby. You have it within you to love deeply
Google Taylor Swift contrast Kim Kardashion at 2024 Superbowl. Good vibes are always better than “cool.” Show up. Dog park energy. Forget trying to look cool.
When things get scary, look for the helpers. This is true in physical crises and existential ones. SCOTUS just passed down a few truly horrifying rulings, including reversing Roe v Wade. I’m disheartened in all that’s going on, but was reminded to look for the helpers, the activists, etc. Look for them…and join them.
Porn: I wish I could keep you away from it entirely but at least I will prepare you.
It’s normal to be curious, etc. but like anything else, it can get to be too much and can be very harmful, especially to a very young person. It can disrupt your healthy sexuality, ruin your relationships and even your career (no porn at work!)
Also keep in mind it is a business designed to make money, not to be realistic. That's not the way sex looks. Also the women are NOT enjoying themselves.
So try to avoid it, but at least keep it to a minimum!
Keep stories about younger years to tell them later: You used to call yellow “lellow” etc. Ten years from now you think you’ll remember this stuff but you won’t.
Take the family on periodic “spending fasts.”
As an exercise, go a day, a weekend or a week without spending any money. Make due with what you have.
Encourage participation. Tie in spending fasts with holidays, lent or in support of a cause.
“People are in your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. Pain comes when we try to put them in the wrong category.” - random therapist I never met.
Blessing for the Brokenhearted: Poem by Jan Richardson
___________
"There is no remedy for love but to love more."
– Henry David Thoreau
________________________
________________________
Let us agree
for now
that we will not say
the breaking
makes us stronger
or that it is better
to have this pain
than to have done
without this love.
__________Let us promise
we will not
tell ourselves
time will heal
the wound,
when every day
our waking
opens it anew.
___________Perhaps for now
it can be enough
to simply marvel
at the mystery
of how a heart
so broken
can go on beating,
as if it were made
for precisely this—
as if it knows
the only cure for love
is more of it,
as if it sees
the heart’s sole remedy
for breaking
is to love still,
as if it trusts
that its own
persistent pulse
is the rhythm
of a blessing
we cannot
begin to fathom
but will save us
nonetheless.
Cotillion and other social clubs abound in our area. They usually start around 5th or 6th grade. start looking into what might be a good fit. Lay the ground work that they will attend.
Talk about “don’t judge a book by its cover.”
People come in all shapes, sizes, appearances. “Clean cut” is an outdated and misleading notion. Be open to who people are on the inside, they’re pretty amazing if you give the a chance.
Yes, you’re beautiful. But that’s not ALL you are. And it isn’t all that’s expected of you. Surely you could “get by” on your looks. Is that what you want for yourself?
When it comes to judging your behavior at school/ sports/ work, ask:
Was I fair?
Was I kind?
Did I put in the work?
If the answers are all “Yes,” then rest well.
If an answer is “No,” then fix it.
“Growth is painful. Change is painful. But nothing is as painful as remaining where you no longer belong, or where you’re unable to be yourself and thrive.” Mandy Hall (paraphrased.)
Write your own job description. When you've been around long enough to know what you're good at and can identify what needs in the company you can help with.
Putting up the Christmas tree the weekend or next after Thanksgiving, then watching Polar Express in the glow of the lights. Maybe the smell of gingerbread cookies baking too.