Ask “Is there anything you want to get off your chest?” Confession is good for the soul! Get in the habit of being a place of support when they screw up. Then when they’re older and REALLY screw up, they know they can trust you to help.


8



The most important things I can teach you is how to love and be loved


14, 19, 21



An exercise in assumption. Have them answer “Just because I _______” doesn’t mean _________”.


10



On a job interview, mention a high-level educational goal such as MBA or law school. Their estimation of you will go up without them even realizing it. Your offer will be higher. Also follow, up with a brief but we’ll-written (professional) thank you note/email whatever.


17, 19, 21



You can’t grow in faith (or character or friendships) without learning to be humble. To forgive. To listen without agenda. To allow for the possibility you may be in the wrong. Ask for help. God will give it.


16



Give them the book Starfish by Lisa Fipps.


12, 14



Happiness comes from giving and helping, not buying and having.


14, 19



You don’t have to like everyone you go to school with, or work with. You don’t even have to like your family! BUT, you have to treat everyone with respect and kindness. They are worthy of that no matter what your opinion of them may be.


15, 21



Cut people some slack, everyone is entitled to a bad day.


17-20



Learn how to sail together


12-15



My favorite Chinese food order is chicken Kung Pao, shrimp fried rice and beef lo mein. That way we all get a little of each meat.


16



Listen to books of love letters. I forget the title but one of the Bush twins wrote a book about her grandparents (George and Barbara). Stories about real love, real life. Fiction is great too but having a real world examples of happy partnerships is gold.


18



Read blog post from Parent's Corner: The Letter Your Teenager Can't Write You By Gretchen Schmelzer June 23, 2015


13-17



vaccinate! Science is good.


0, 1, 2, 3, 5



“First things first!” It’s a constant struggle to get out of the house or complete a task. Hammer home “first things first!” After they’re dressed (or whatever task) THEN they can have screen time or playtime free-time, etc.


4



Speaking truth to power is important but should be done carefully. Before you speak remember this: Is there anything self-serving, mean-spirited, or ego-driven? If you’re sure your feedback isn’t tinged with those things, then I’d say you can be comfortable telling it like it is. Note: when you’re young (less than 30) WAIT to be asked before you spill your guts! Always be kind, professional and consider what you want to say carefully.


21



Play up your strengths. What are your strengths? What are you really good at or love doing?


13, 17, 21



Don't let the laundry pile up. This lessons extends to pretty much every chore: Stay ahead of it and you won't get crushed by it.


17



Octavia Butler’s “Parable of the Sower.”


14



Avoid commenting on the number of children someone has (or doesn’t have.) Its none of your business to ask why a couple doesn’t have kids or remark if they announce they’re pregnant with their 7th (other than to say “Congratulations.”)


15, 21



“How we learn to hold what hurts shapes so much of who we are. What we choose to do with our pain defines us more than most things.“ -Chani Nicholas


11, 14, 17



Hand out tulip bulbs (or some sort of bulbs) at my funeral and ask people to plant a few in their yard. But NOT daffodils. I hate daffodils. And lilies, hate ‘em.) So tulips then.


21



A person is only as good as how they treat you when they are angry with you.


17



You can (and should) pray for help. But remember, you have to do your part too. Depending on the situation it could be a little or a lot, but don’t just sit back and expect to be rescued. Moses had to dip his toe in the Red Sea before God parted it. Ask for help, but do your part.


14, 21



Read "You Can’t buy a Dinosaur with a Dime" by Harriet Ziefert. Teaches kids about earning money through work, making choices, even paying taxes!


9



Career is so important to your life satisfaction. Do what makes you happy. If you’re really at a loss for what you want to do for work, then go where you’re needed.


18, 21



Things are rarely black and white. Most situations (and all people) are complex. A nuanced approach is necessary to understand them. You can’t learn - or love, if you’re judging.


17



Getting your drivers license will depend not only on government requirements (age, passing tests, etc.) but also maturity and trustworthiness.


14



“If we could see our prayers we would never stop praying.” - Bunmi Laditan, by way of her angel.


11, 17



Send them outside with an age-appropriate pair of scissors and have them “give the grass a haircut.” Fine motor skills!


2-4